Mum cancer diagnosis. Can't cry.

[MintMe]

My mum was diagnosed with ovarian cancer yesterday. Stage three. She'll be having chemo.

I'm devastated. She's devastated. She's my very best friend and I love her endlessly. But I haven't and can't cry. I've gone straight into pragmatist mode. I feel terrible as I've just gone to the straight 'matter of fact' approach. When is treatment, where will she stay, how long for etc...

I'm just about to start a new (very demanding) job. DS is off school with Covid. It feels like I'm emotionally shutting off so I don't have to deal with it.

Is this normal??

I'm so sorry Mint.
I think I reacted the same way. My mum was diagnosed in 2020 during the first lockdown, and I swung into the "sort everything out" mode. She was coming home on palliative care (no chemo), we created a bubble, had to sort a hospital bed/ care package etc.
It is natural. you want to do the very best for her, so you push your own feelings to the background. Do take care to look after yourself, think about the first thing they teach you in first aid, look after yourself, so you can look after her.

I hope things go well for your mum

I am so sorry.
You have gone into pragmatic coping mode, this is a normal reaction. You probably won't cry for absolutely ages. And that is fine.
Sending you strength.

I am so sorry, Mint. You are in survival mode so just dealing with things as you can as you fear giving in to your emotions will overwhelm you. It's perfectly normal.
Be kind to yourself and focus on the fact that you're getting her the right treatment. You're at the beginning of a journey, not the end, and you will need to pace yourself. There is hope, and I pray you'll have many, many more happy times with your Mum.

Hi Mint
I'm afraid I have no advice, I came on looking for advice myself. My mum was diagnosed with Small Bowel cancer on Friday and I've found myself going into pragmatist mode too, unable to cry. I'm just walking around a bit numb.
I really hope your mum is ok and you are coping

I would just add this

link

Called Ring Theory, in a crisis you centre the person with the illness and only vent outwards.

I had stage 3 cancer and made a full recovery but my nearest and dearest made it all about them.