Worth it to get an ASD diagnosis as an adult?

[ASDdiagnosis]

I would be interested to hear peoples perspectives on this.

My DS is away at uni, hes been suffering from depression. One of his course tutors has been in touch with me (relating to DS's depression and support he might need) and thinks that DS may have ASD and suggests he should be screened for it.

I think he does have some traits but not others. He doesn't seem to have problems with friendships and has a GF, but he doesn't really show his emotions or even be able to talk about them. He finds other peoples emotions quite baffling I think.

He is quite severely dyslexic and when he saw an ed psych for an assessment she asked me if I thought he might have ASD while stressing that she wasnt qualified to assess him for that. I said no I didnt' think so as he didnt have many of the "classic" childhood signs of ASD.

DP and I have differing views as to whether it's worth getting him assessed or not. I think yes, because it could help him to understand what's going on a bit better. DP thinks no, because he says it wouldn't make any difference to his life, and sometimes its better not to know these things. He also says theres still a stigma attached to ASD and he would be better off without that label attached to him.

I don't know what to think. Does anyone have any experience either way?

What does ds think?

My diagnosis made a huge difference for me, but I sought it out after a lot of self reflection.
Had someone else told me to seek out a diagnosis I’m not sure it would have been as positive as it was.

I haven't discussed it with him yet. DP thinks he's got enough going on with his depression (which has recently got worse).

Can you say in what ways it made a difference to you, @OutsideVoice?

Waiting lists are lengthy, around 2 years for adults in my area. You can go private but it’s a couple of grand, plus waiting lists are still fairly significant due to high demand. There is little to no post diagnostic support, so it’s not like a diagnosis gives you access to any therapy or anything.

That said, some people like to seek diagnosis for their own knowledge and understanding. However I don’t think you need a rubber stamp to engage with information/self help material/private therapy etc that might be helpful, anyone can access those things regardless.

Have you looked at resources from The Autistic Society, or even just googled adult ASC? There is lots of advice and support out there. For your DS, I'd suggest a reason to go for it would be that if he is diagnosed (and he/you would have to prepare for not getting a diagnosis) that he could have extra time in exams.

In my experience, the main benefit is that it might finally explain why he is depressed (a common thing with ASC) and he may find that lots of aspects of his life and life view suddenly slot in to place and make sense. He may quickly begin to understand his challenges and find ways to make them easier to cope with.

Yes worth it, I got one in uni and it helped me with my other mental illnesses - often depression or anxiety is related to being undiagnosed autistic and not knowing why certain things are hard etc. Your DP is right that there is still some stigma around the diagnosis, however your DS isn't obliged to tell anyone about it if he doesn't want to (employers etc), and there are lots of spaces online where autistic people support each other which can be hugely helpful.

Also, his uni will have support services that he can immediately slot in to (mentoring, counselling etc).

There are online tests from reputable sources available to see if you should at least broach the subject with your GP. They use the same criteria and though of course are not a diagnosis, can give some indication as to whether it is worth considering.

At my university, ASD got you an automatic 25% extra time on exams.

Thanks all. Yes I have googled and done the tests as if I were him. Obviously with some guesswork. The results were that ASD was very likely.

He already gets extra time in exams because of dyslexia.

That's a good point re not having to disclose if he doesn't want to.

Meant to say, it will make a difference to his life. For example, he will be entitled to accommodations and support at uni and in the workplace if he chooses to disclose it, and even if he doesn't he may feel more able to experiment with tools such as ear defenders and stim tools, which for me and several people I know have made day to day life massively easier and improved my mental health. He might also want to relearn how to stim if that's something he's repressed as he grew up, which can help hugely with working through emotions that can otherwise lead to worsening depression etc. Of course, he can use these tools with or without a diagnosis, but he does need to be aware of the possibility he might be autistic in order to start researching his options for managing it day to day.

My late diagnosis at age 42 is helping me to see myself not as a failure, but as someone who has had to contend with particular difficulties. I am finally making sense of all the traits I had seen as character flaws. I wish I had known this about myself at your son's age as I might have been able to avoid a pervasive sense of shame and a major burntout, along with the tendency to be manipulated by others.
I am finally starting to celebrate (some of) my autistic traits and see how they are beneficial in many situations, despite others being distinctly disadvantageous.

That's so helpful to hear, @SignOnTheWindow, thank you.

How did it come about that the course tutor contacted you? Was your DS aware of it? Have they talked to your DS about it?

He emailed me because another tutor had raised concerns with him. I had already been in touch with the other tutor over the depression issue. This was with DS's express permission.

The first tutor felt she needed additional support in order to support DS. DS knows that I've discussed his situation with the second tutor but not that the tutor asked about ASD.

Absolutely. My ds2 started suffering with depression in his 1st year at uni. He saw a counsellor...asd suggested. He started on ADs for his anxiety and depression. He had improved a lot by halfway through his 2nd year. After lots of assessments he was diagnosed with ASD during his 3rd year. I would not have said he fitted the bill, but he said he actually suspected he was autistic during the sixth form. It has helped him a lot and he knows to be careful during any big life changes in the future.
Plus dd2 has just been diagnosed as autistic - she's 15. His diagnosis made us look at the others and it suddenly seemed obvious with dd2.

I also suspected ds2 was suicidal at one point as I directly asked him and he said he didn't want to answer the question.

Diagnosis is the difference between me being at fault for all my problems vs me having a disability that isn’t my fault. It’s a significant mental shift when you’ve spent your whole life blaming yourself for your struggles. It also means you can ask for reasonable adjustments in the workplace which can make the difference between being able to stay in a job or getting sacked. It also gives you legal protection against being sacked or discriminated against for issues relating to your autism. So I would say it’s worthwhile.

Really interesting, thanks all. A unanimous response so far.

@ASDdiagnosis it allowed me to see myself positively. I’d always assumed that everyone felt the same as me but handled things better. I felt rubbish that I needed more time alone than others and things related to sensory issues.
In terms of support, I was able to access help at uni (as a mature student), which really helped. I am considering applying for PIP, my diagnosis report will be helpful in terms of evidence.

Im awaiting ADHD assassment and I remember my untreatable depression in college. Like other posters here depression is often very different with ASD so I would definitely get an assessment. Have no idea why your husband thinks as he does, surely if your son was ASD he could get treatment?

If he's got severe dyslexia he could have Cerebral Visual Impairment (CVI) rather than ASD. Have a look at CVI Scotland web site to see if that could fit.

I would definitely go for an assessment. I assess adults for asd and the diagnosis can make a huge difference.

He might not need to go for the full diagnosis - I'm a mature student, and I was recently diagnosed. I paid for the diagnosis myself for various reasons, but the uni autism support team had been perfectly happy, based on their screening, to support me as if diagnosed while I was waiting (originally I'd planned to go through their service but time was ticking away).

It's put a lot of my life into perspective and reduced the feeling of failure for me. Still adjusting to it though.

I think he could get a diagnosis via his student support department at uni.