House Stress

[loverloversweet]

Looking for advice! Two children, husband wfh, I'm a sahm.

Bought a house in a commuter town in 2017. It's a townhouse with great upstairs space but the downstairs is really getting me down. We have a small (but lovely!) kitchen at the front, a small loo and big ish living/dining space at the back which leads to garden. I feel like we are on top of each other constantly and I hate it. Having one room be our everything is so annoying as we've got the dining table and toys and it always feels cluttered and messy no matter how we try to keep on top of everything. I dream of a kitchen diner or playroom. Husband loves the garage and drive and having an office so doesn't really care about the downstairs space.

The problem we have is that we can't extend. It's a new build and no room around to extend out. Only way is into the loft but we definitely do not need more upstairs space so no point doing that.

So our options are to deal with it or move. If we move, we have no idea where. Family are scattered around, friends are in different places too so no obvious area to move to. We've got friends here but don't love the area or house but also don't know where we'd go! I'm basically wondering if anyone else has experienced this aimlessness?!

Sort of similar. We moved 2 years ago, didn’t love the house, but it ticked enough boxes and kept us out of renting. We’ve grown to hate it. 2 architects down and we’ve decided we are going to sell. Similar to you, upstairs space is fine, but we need to extend downstairs, BUT loads of the house has been bodged together, so once we start we are going to end up having to gut the place….and we simply won’t ever get back what we spend. But I totally get the living on top of each other thing. It’s so depressing.

Yes, our last house was not the best, but the practical aspects meant it was wise to stay put.

I don't think you have to love a house to have a good life in it.

What space do you have upstairs - if you have spare space there could you make either a cosy lounge or play room up there?

Or buy a summerhouse as a play room?

I guarantee your house is less crowded than ours - we had four in a 2-bed, only one reception room. Life was still good. You do have to be tidy.

If you put a bedroom in the loft, could you put the kitchen diner in the back and a lounge upstairs, with a small playroom at the front?

This is us a little bit, so I feel your pain!

I'm currently on ML, we have 3 DC, and honestly it's starting to make me feel claustrophobic and like it's affecting my quality of life at home (I know we're lucky to be on the properly ladder but still, I can't help feeling how I feel).

I think our house will be on the market within 12 months - I want an extra bedroom, an upstairs bathroom (we only have a downstairs shower room) and an extra living room.

Is the kitchen just too small for a table? Lots of people have taken the door off the kitchen in our street to get a table in. Or you can get tables that attach to a wall in ikea that fold up and down.

So glad it's not just me!
I feel like I'm just moaning and I know there are so many terrible things going on so I feel pathetic but it does get me down.
If we move we kind of need to do it soon as children will be starting school and don't want to uproot them too much. The longer we stay though the more settled we feel in terms of area and friends and community so it's a right pain!

We have thought about using an upstairs room as a living space but not sure how it would work. Husband uses one as an office, children have one each and we have a bedroom with en suite. The townhouse we loved when viewing just isn't very practical in terms of actually living in it!

Kitchen is definitely too small for a table! It really feels like we either suck it up and deal with the space or move.