So fed up of the sen fight

[Justrealised]

My ds was diagnosed very young with autism. We had to fight to get the official dx due to a change in funding in our area (officially dx just after 2nd birthday), we then had to fight for a statement at 3 for nursery, then had to fight for therapies (do this regularly), then had to fight for the therapies to be put in the plan properly, social care package, dla, people judging when out and the comments that go with it, provision, needs..... now we're fighting for the right secondary placement all whilst being exhausted from lack of sleep, juggling interventions, social stories, sensory needs, adaptations, dla renewals, independent reports, tribunal application, millions of emails. It is absolutely soul destroying. All the time, energy and cost could be spent on so many other things including quality family.

I guess I'm just having a bit of a moan. I know there must be other parents fed up like this, does anyone want to join me for a bit of a moan?

I hear you and you have every sympathy from me. I'm now home educating DS6 because of the same problem.
It's not problem solved, but I've removed the school obstacle.
I wish you all the very best. Its hard isn't it?

So hard. How do you find home educating? Do you get an eats budget? Sending you good wishes too x

Same problem, daughter with asd applied for sen secondary place got given mainstream now forced to home Ed as wont be sending her to mainstream

@BabyTurtIe for a placement in September? Could you not appeal?

I can't home ed, it'd be wrong for my ds and when he's at school I need the sleep. We have been given a sen place for secondary but they can't meet need.

The system is just really flawed, if we didn't fight he'd stand no chance.

What's an eats budget? See, no one tells you about any help do they?
I must say, I find homeschooling far easier than sending him to school. It wasn't just the constant battle with school, it was his anxiety before school and the apoplectic meltdowns afterwards. It just wasn't worth it. He's progressing really well with me and when he needs a cheeky day off, we just have one.
(Plus no more school runs, bliss).

No I probably won’t appeal, professionals involved said mainstream is fine so I’m on my own not gonna win the fight sadly! Haven’t got the energy! Don’t really want to home Ed but I haven’t got a choice, lone parent so won’t be easy.

No more school runs, aww heaven!

Eotas- education other than at school. So if your child can't go to a school the la provide a budget and support for what they need but you have to prove they need it (another fight).

No nobody tells you anything at all. These kids should just get what they need.

Totally sympathise OP. I eventually managed to get DD into a SN secondary but only with a huge amount of help from the excellent SENCO and head at her mainstream primary.

It is so frustrating. We applied for one school and the LA came back and said they could not meet her needs. I asked for reasons why. They didn't know and would come back to me. Of course they didn't.

They then tried to force me to put her in mainstream. That would have destroyed DD. I told them that if they did that I would pull her out and home school her.

She is thriving now but it could have been so different.

Ever since she got her EHCP the LA have been useless. Never dealt with the same person twice, never had any council representation at meetings, EHCPS wrongly revised, I could go on.

Life is hard enough without all this extra crap.

@BabyTurtIe that's really difficult. A horrible choice to as no one wants to send their child to a school for them to fail them. It's awful, sending best wishes x

@feellikeanalien completely agree, it just shouldn't be like this. Glad your daughter is doing so well now x

I have EOTAS for my two children who can't be catered for in school. Had the arrangement for the last 4 years.

It's not easier. It's still hard and then you never get time away from your children either.

With EOTAS you are mum AND run a special education provision. I can definitely see the benefit of home education where you do not need to have the same contact with the LA on a regular basis.

With a child with SEN there are no easy answers.

I hear you! It's relentless.

It doesn’t get any easier I’m afraid. DS is 20 now with a protected EHCP with no provision since last summer when his 2nd college placement broke down. I’ve spent months trying to identify one as the LA wouldn’t. Then as soon as I found one, they decided they could find one after all. One day a week for 3 hours!

In the middle of a Tribunal at the moment. 10 years of fighting and there’s no let up. Years of fighting for diagnosis, an EHCP and how he had been treated by school.

It’s just a horrible joke!

Yep, I hear you. We are relatively new to SEN, dc has an ASC diagnosis is, but no EHCP yet. The LA refused a NA, so waiting to go to tribunal. It’s so stressful. I was so naive to the plight of SEN dc and their families. I never realised how hard it was to get any support. Dc hasn’t been to school since October. No one Official cares, There is no support out there (unless you can get an EHCP and even then you have to fight for it). I’m hoping to get an EOTAS package, as there is no way dc will be able to attend Any school at any point in the near future, she is still so traumatised from her Mainstream school experiences, her recovery from that is going to take a long time and I don’t really want to Electively home educate so it feels like the only option available at the moment.

I agree, it is relentless.

OP Rysimo sadly, an EHE personal budget is at the discretion of the LA as by EHE the LA will often say parents are making suitable alternative arrangements and they are relieved of their duties therefore they don’t have to provide anything, and many do not. However, with EOTAS without EHE the LA remain responsible and must fund the provision in the EHCP. It’s important to make the distinction between EHE and EOTAS where the LA are still responsible for the child’s education.

BabyTurtle do appeal. The majority of appeals are upheld. Can you get some independent assessments? It is not unusual for LA professionals to say MS can meet need but for parents to go on to successfully appeal for a SS.

Cleothecat75 whilst waiting for Tribunal, separately to the EHCP process if DD cannot attend school the LA have a statutory duty to provide alternative education under s.19, the Education Act 1996.