What happens after a safeguarding referral?

[Aitutaki9]

Hi,

I have a 2 y old son who is in full time nursery, and we live with his father. I recently went to my doctor as I was struggling with anxiety about money, my dads health and my workload as a PhD, couldn’t sleep, was suffering from imposter syndrome. A friend had recommended Valium but said it was pointless asking the doctor and to just get it online. I don’t drink, party, smoke or take other drugs, thought this would be fine as it’s a medication and all the American tv shows make it seem like some miracle cure. So I was taking it at a low dose just before bed for about two months. I stopped taking it and felt really ill which scared me, as I then googled the symptoms and found that you can die or have a seizure when you stop low doses. That’s when I went to the doctor because I really didn’t want to take anymore.
He admitted he didn’t know enough about dependency and referred me to drug and recovery. I was a bit taken aback but happy to go along because I was scared by what I’d read online.

I’ve been off the diazepam for a week and although I feel pretty rubbish still I think I’m through the worst of it, haven’t died or had a seizure. Have absolutely zero desire to go near them again. However, the drug recovery Center rang me to tell me they were putting in a safeguarding referral for my son. I’m pretty upset as I take being his mum very seriously, I love him with all my heart, have never put him in danger and had never imagined that it would come to this. However, I understand I have already set these wheels in motion and so just need to cooperate. The key worker who is putting in the referral was very apologetic as I think she recognised my issue is quite tame and that this would be very frightening for me but said she would be “bollocked” if she didn’t put a referral through for someone who’s come to the service.

I just want to have an idea of what I’m in for and what kind of things the social worker will be considering when they receive my referral. Can I expect a visit or a phone call or what? Will I just get put down as a drug misuser, is there any differentiation between the types of drugs used and frequency?

I feel like I’ve f**d up so badly.

Also!
How soon do you hear from SS after a referral ?
Will they get in contact with my sons nursery? That’s not an issue but will be a bit embarrassing for me

I'm so sorry this has happened to you. Unnecessary safeguarding referrals can be so distressing (at least in my experience!).
I would try and remember that they are simply ticking boxes to show they've done their due diligence, and focus on the fact that there is no evidence that your issue has affected your son at all. So like you said, cooperate but try and keep your cool internally as it sounds like a rock box exercise.
And also, please don't feel you have to be embarrassed. Educational establishments deal with safeguarding referrals all the time and it should be clear very quickly that there are no grounds for concern.
Wishing you the best and hope you get some more advice on the technicalities.

Probably a call. Maybe at a push a home visit. You may not hear from them at all! They'll just want to check your son is safe and well and that your use of valium has no impact on him (eg he cannot access the medication, he does not see you under the influence, if he needed a parent one would be able to wake to attend to him etc).

In general, please never take prescription drugs without the guidance of a professional. These drugs are controlled because they can have negative effects and interactions

@sausagerole
@TheDaydreamBelievers

Thank you, obviously I struggle with being quite anxious as it is so not knowing what’s about to happen is very difficult for me ! I’m confident that if they were to come round or to ask my nursery they would see my son is well looked after but it’s very scary having someone make those kinds of decisions and misusing drugs doesn’t look good.

Yeah I feel really stupid and ashamed now but was just kind of whatever at the time cos everyone at undergrad etc would take unprescribed modafinal and stuff to do coursework. I’m ongoing at drug recovery now and they will do tests so I’m hoping I can just test negative as soon and often as possible and just have this horrible time be over.

@Aitutaki9 active engagement with recovery services will be really reassuring for safeguarding professionals so that's great.

For your own sake, make sure that whatever you were taking the medication for is addressed too so you stay well 😊

Could be a call or visit but yes they will definitely speak to the nursery (I would be very surprised if they didn’t) try not to worry though, they make want to visit check the house your child’s room etc

Please try not to worry too much.

You will be contacted by an assessment social worker, usually by phone. They will also speak to your sons nursery and may or may not do a home visit.

Given that you sought help and are engaging with support, it is unlikely that it will go any further past assessment.

@BabyTurtIe okay, will they tell the nursery why they’re doing safeguarding ? And do you have any idea when I’ll find out what’s happening?

Well done for going to see the doctor. Has your gp made any other suggestions on how to treat your anxiety and stress?

Child protection referrals can be so frightening. I think you seeking help speaks volumes though. I think they will want investigate further, that could include speaking to you, his father, hv, and nursery. As well as visiting your home.

Valium is addictive, that’s why it’s illegal to possess without a prescription. Concerns around you relapsing or how you now cope without it may be brought up.

So if all your gp has done is sent off a referal get back and ask for help with your anxiety/stress.

Engage with drug recovery team and be honest.

xx

Honestly I’m not 100% sure if they do tell them the reasons, I was referred in the past and they contacted my children’s school as it is standard, but I always just assumed that they do tell them but I’ve since heard mixed things on that so I’m not sure, they will probably contact you quite soon but can take a while for the assessment to be completed.