Comforting rituals/routines. Let's have an ideas thread.

[madmomma]

Lots of us are struggling with anxiety and brain fog/overload at the moment, for various reasons. And when the wider world gets too much, it's a good thing for us to sustain/begin little rituals to comfort ourselves. I'm trying to build some for myself and am interested to hear what others are doing in this vein. Can be as generic or specific as you wish. One of mine is to light a special scented candle while I'm sorting the kitchen. I don't light candles at any other time, so seeing it lit reminds me that it's my kitchen cleaning time, so it keeps me focused on the task at hand (am v. v. easily distracted). Another thing I'm doing is tying my own night routine of meds, vits, teeth etc in with my daughter's routine. So when she goes to take her bedtime inhaler, I'll take my meds, when she does her teeth, I'll be locking up, etc etc culminating with her story and cuddles and me getting straight into bed with a brew and my book. I've found putting this routine in line with hers very soothing. What have you done to soothe yourself, if you don't mind sharing? Let's help each other keep our heads!

Oh I've remembered another one. The dreaded meal plan. It's something I've always despised, but when I got desperately overwhelmed by anxiety, I pulled out some cookbooks, sat with dd and we picked out a recipe for each day of the week and wrote a little index card of notes about it: which ingredients I'd need to get, what steps could be taken first thing to start it off, the book and page number... I'm going to make this our Sunday night ritual now, as we both found it strangely relaxing and have actually stuck to it! First time ever as I've always been disorganized and on the last minute. Planning generally has soothed me.

I find that something that takes a bit of brainpower is very helpful because it makes it much harder to worry. I like learning languages and find it impossible to think about anything else while I'm doing it. Sometimes I'll decide to skip studying and regret it later when worry creeps in, because although it's hard work, it completely shuts out all other thoughts and gives me a break. Reading works too, whereas I'm quite capable of fretting while I'm watching TV.

Another poster recommended puzzle-type activities, it was a game where you have to guess a mystery word based on others that are similar. I'll try to remember the name, I tried it and it was really difficult and really helpful!

Yes! Study/practice sessions at something are really good. Easy to make a music or language practice into a comforting ritual. And I think the game you're referring to is wordle. I haven't the patience for it but ds is addicted!

Oh gosh yes I can absolutely fret when I'm watching TV.

I get as much as possible ready in the evening so that the next morning I can get everyone up, get myself ready for work, and while the kids are eating breakfast I go and sit in bed with my coffee and just chill for a couple of minutes. It makes all the difference.

I used to knit or play duo lingo or a word game. Really helped and then I would neck Kalms like they were going out of fashion! 😂. I started HRT a month ago and all my anxiety practically faded away! I honestly feel like a new person, it was so crippling to live with. Have been feeling a bit shaky this week but think it’s watching too much news and specifically Ukrainian situation, which is to be expected I guess snd a dentist appointment, they always send me in to a tail spin but I got diazepam prescribed for that!

A couple of nights a week when DH is working late I go to bed at the same time as DS (8pm), read for a while and eat the majority of a bag of caramel nibbles before falling asleep at about half 9 or maybe later depending how tired I am. I love those nights.

If there is anything that I dread doing, I set myself a timer for 10 minutes and tell myself I can stop after that. It helps to give me the jump start to start doing it.

I find that if I make myself stick to an morning and evening routine, I feel better and calmer. Evening routine has gone out of the window recently, but I normally set a 10 minute timer to do my skincare and floss and brush my teeth, and then do a ten minute yoga before bed video on YouTube (Yoga with Kassandra).

Though this week everything has gone out the window as I've been stressed with family and work problems, and the general state of the world.

I’ve started this week with putting YouTube on the TV for half an hour before bedtime with something backgrounds like a fireplace with crackling fire or forest noises or relaxing panpipe music or whatever. And then DD and I light a candle and have a nice chat to wind down our day.

Morning ritual is switch on fairy lights and light a candle on the table in the breakfast room before gathering my thoughts there with a pot of Earl Grey. Once it starts to get light I know I have to get a move on with the day but I love that first forty minutes.

Bedtime we are currently listening to the Nothing Much Happens podcast which is a really lovely way to wind down.

I’ve put a plug in radio inthe kitchen and when I’m doing chores in there I switch on classic fm and try to pretend I’m having a private concert rather than just doing the washing up. Makes it less mundane.

Ooh another one. Sometimes I feel too stressed to sleep but I find if I use my pillow spray and make a hot water bottle and a Pukka Sleep herbal tea that combo can help me unwind.

'areyouserious' I completely agree that a brew in bed is the most civilized way to start the day!

@madmomma

Yes! Study/practice sessions at something are really good. Easy to make a music or language practice into a comforting ritual. And I think the game you're referring to is wordle. I haven't the patience for it but ds is addicted!

I think the game is this one semantle.novalis.org/#capitalized-faq

Lighting our wood burner in the evening. Having the glass all clean, ashes all swept out and a pile of wood ready to light.

I'm finding doing a meal planner is helping with the food shop. I sit down and work out what I fancy eating, what family members have mentioned they'd like to eat and then sort out the list from that. It has helped with cutting our food shop, though not quite as much as I'd like, but it also helps my mind when shopping as I don't feel overwhelmed by it all.

I love getting up in the morning, making the bed and and opening up the windows, no matter the weather, just to get some air in there. It feels much nicer when I go up and shut them and the curtains and turn on the side lights. I love having those in when I go up to bed. I hate going into a dark bedroom.

That first glass of red wine in Saturday night is pretty good too

Love these ideas and this thread. Thank you, OP.

Wish I had some of these rituals and am reading with interest!

Aww trixie I'm so happy for you that you've found relief from the HRT. And omg kalms!!! That takes me back; my mum used to swear by them in her 50s

Cuddling my pets. Rabbits and a cat. Very soothing.

smelly that sounds heavenly!

I've recently downloaded the app "Insight timer" which has hundreds of free yoga nidras, meditations etc. I listen to one to go to sleep every night (and sometimes in the middle of the night when I wake up and start worrying about things). I used to have the (paid) Calm app but I got bored with it eventually and this is much better as it is free and has such a huge variety of different styles and voices.

Wishing my cats a nice day when I leave the house each morning for work.
Pancakes on a Sunday morning. Followed by the crossword in the newspaper. Ever week. Without fail.
Over a longer term, growing sweet peas from seed. Sowing the seeds, watching for germination, watching the weather for planting out, cutting the flowers, and finally collecting seeds for the next season. It's a year long ritual, that keeps me in tune with the seasons and gives me a lot of joy. I am obsessed with sweet peas.