If you consider yourself poor what does that look like for you?

[flyingdream]

What does it mean to you?

No heating for 2 consecutive winters and water running down the inside of the walls. The house had heating but I never used it as I couldn't afford the bills. When I could afford to eat, I'd have rice mixed with ketchup. Several years on and I'm out of debt and can afford to pay the bills. Just about to do a shop for the food bank.

Can you tell us a little about your situation OP?

I remember once when my children were all little, and we were so much in debt that a bailiff knocked (one of many) and I just opened the door wide and said 'I give up - take what you can find'. He didn't, he said he just wanted to discuss repayments. I remember another time when the TV license man called round (do they still do this?) and I told him in all honesty that I didn't know when he would be paid because my then husband wouldn't tell me what he earned and he never gave me any money. The TV license man told me that he didn't believe me that I lived like that... but I did. It wasn't called financial abuse then, it was called ' I married a bastard'.
Now exH and I have been divorced for many years now.
Also had many different phone numbers because it kept being cut off, and me and the kids lived in jumble sale clothes. I remember once seeing a bra at a jumble sale that was the same as the one I had, but it was in better condition - someone had thrown out something better than the thing I had.

@Sadless apologies I didn't reply sooner. I'm glad your cats had treatment, I hope the gum disease gets better. I totally know what you mean. Unexpected expenses can turn your whole world upside down.

Can I just add that I didn't do paid work at that time because my then husband 'forbade' it.

Coming from a fairly big family, money was always tight growing up. Mum and dad worked very hard though to keep us afloat, dad worked during the day, dm did shift work in the evenings.

Our parents never let on that we were often in dire straits (with bills/mortgage, mum later said we would often be living off a tenner in the last week before pay day) We had an incredibly happy childhood though, I never felt like ‘The Poor Kid’ because I felt like we had everything.
Looking back, we did used to get lots of things given to us from my parents friends or mums at school, clothes, baby stuff, furniture etc.
I also had hand me downs from older siblings & mum also made clothes for us. We could never afford school trips (but school would always pay for us) heating would only go on if absolutely freezing, mum shopped in charity shops for coats/books/pots etc.

Getting into debt - credit card and/or overdraft. Renting as I couldn't afford a deposit or a mortgage on a flat

agree, getting into credit card debt

We have nothing. I'm a disabled, widowed parent to a child with special needs. I can't work and live on pennies. I had to call Amazon today and query why a transaction was 83p more than the price and honestly, I've never been more embarrassed.

To me, being 'poor' is eating the cheapest meals to survive rather than enjoying food. Rationing heating & sharing baths.
Wearing clothes with holes in and repairing socks & underwear
Keeping a tub of powdered milk in for when you're a week before pay day and you've no milk.
Re-using tea bags & not buying coffee as it's too expensive
Using a multi-level steamer pan to cook multiple vegetables from one ring to save on gas
Avoiding turning bathroom light on just for a wee to save electric
Having no Wi-Fi & just a basic pay as you go
Smartphone with a cheap data bundle
Only turning hot water on for showers/baths
Eating your child's crusts/leftovers to save what you were going to eat for your own meal.
Having baked beans on toast at least twice a week.
Eating ASDA Smartprice bread & other Smartprice products)
Asking friends/family for spare coupons
Trawling the reduced section of supermarket at the right time of day
Cutting open toothpaste tube to get every drop out to last until payday
Your child possessing almost exclusively borrowed clothes from a bin bag full lent to you for a few months. Same for toys
Using folded blitz kitchen roll instead of sanitary pads
Semi-regularly swallowing your pride and requesting to be referred to Food Bank
Not owning a tv
Overloading your washing machine to get as much washed as possible (until you go too far and break it which I did a few weeks ago!!)
Having all second hand furniture (although I realise some wealthy people actually choose to do this and call it vintage!)
Not using fabric conditioner except for your child's stuff
Using 2in1 to wash your hair

These (and a few other examples) are day to day occurrences for us. Being poor is no barrel of laughs! We do find some happiness in the small things though. I also know that being wealthy doesn't guarantee happiness. Only for a short while.

@mizu

Not now but when DDs were little our outgoings were high due to nursery fees.

I was part time too.

Nothing like others have posted on here but I used to get cash out each week and after everything was paid for, DH and I had £10 each in cash for 7 days.

£10 SPARE? Actually spare!? That's not poor!

I'm kidding! Although I'm also half serious. I wish I had £10 spare to buy my child something and not feel guilty for short changing a bill. I get what you mean though. £10 isn't a lot at all is it?

Poor for me was waiting until the college canteen was closing to see if they would let me have some unsold food, bunking the train there and back and hoping there was no ticket inspector because I didn't have the money to pay the fare. Hiding from bailiffs. Checking every coat/pair of jeans /down the back of the couch for change to put money on the electric and leaving the gas switched off because we could at least keep the fridge on and make something hot with the electric and the gas was just for the cooker the heating and hot water.

Going to the College library as soon as it opened and staying there unti it closed because it was warm in term time and freezing at half term.

Hanging hoodies/jeans outside the window to air so I could get an extra wear out of them and not have to do a load of laundry.

Having one pair of trainers and one pair of shoes, both of which let in water.

Walking anywhere I needed to go if it was under 3 miles away.

Regularly running out of phone credit.

No Internet or cable TV. No landline phone.

Being hungry basically all of the time and cold all the time unless the weather was warm.

Being absolutely miserable. Exhausted, physically and emotionally and mentally all of the time.

It's not an experience I wish to ever repeat.

When I was a child it was being so embarrassed wearing a skirt because my knickers were full of holes. Looking on the ground at the grocery stall to see if any apples had rolled away, that would be a real treat. Eating a tin of beetroot because there was nothing else, or a tin of corn with a squirt of tomato sauce. Parents couldn't be arsed working.