First trimester - emotional mess

[Begoniagal7]

Posting for support or shared experiences? I’m 7 weeks pregnant after IVF and an absolute emotional wreck. This is a very wanted pregnancy (will be baby number two, with several pregnancy losses before DC1) and my pregnancy with DC1 was a breeze. But now I’m cross all the time (often at DH, who until a couple of weeks ago I was madly in love with).

I want to be away from him and everything he does irritates me. I am thinking maybe it’s better if we divorce and it feels like getting pregnant and further tying myself to him is mad. I don’t know where this is coming from but I feel like I’m going to burst. I am knackered, not been sleeping well, up 2-3 times a night to wee and feel sick, then lay awake worrying about the world (Ukraine, economy, inflation-how will we afford this baby), and we are trying to buy a house, which seems impossible right now anyway. And I worry about the effects of pregnancy and baby on DC, already I am so knackered and often queasy that I can’t pay as much attention to play and engage as I did before pregnancy and I’m feeling so guilty about that.

I don’t know if I’m just having hormone mood swings and taking it out on DH or if this is some subconscious message that our relationship is terrible and were making loads of wrong decisions?

I’m in tears just thinking about this and I’m generally not at all a precious person, I just get on with things. It feels like I don’t recognise myself. Has anyone experience this? Does it get better? How?

Congratulations! Ha, I remember all the rages I had when pregnant with my two sons and none of that with my daughter!

Well OP no one can say for definite as no one knows your relationship but based on what you say - that up until recently you were happy and in love and that this is a very much wanted and planned pregnancy - when I would suggest these feelings are being brought on by hormonal changes or possibly the stress and side effects of medication from IVF?
It is also a very worrying time in general with the economy, Ukraine etc as you say. It’s overwhelming.

The fact that you are not usually overly sensitive, that you usually love your partner and that these feelings have come on very quickly definitely suggest it’s not real - and by that I’m not dismissing how you feel but that you don’t really hate your husband.

I felt crazy in my first pregnancy, I was up and down like a yo-yo. I was super happy to be expecting but I was very worried about things I would have never worried about usually. It was a bit like I couldn’t control my irrational thoughts.
Luckily it did settle down for me, but pregnancy depression is a real thing - it’s basically post natal depression but during pregnancy.

I would speak to your midwife, they can refer you to get some support. You may just need to talk these feelings through with someone neutral and experienced to help you work though them.

I do think it’s very common though, more than you think.

Congratulations by the way

I cried for the first 12 weeks, all the tube being revolted by everything about poor dh. The smell of him( really, not envy) everything he did and said.
That was 18 years ago and we’ve been pretty happy since week 13

Thank you for the support and reassurance. If I’m able to step back I’m sure it’s not that our marriage is on the rocks, we’ve had ten solid years with challenges but so many good things. It all just feels like so much now with the state of the world, just making a simple plan to meet my mum on the weekend has reduced me to tears. Im hoping it’s just hormones and lack of sleep and will settle soon, or at least in a few weeks. Thank you again for the replies.

Oh god, I could have written your post. I’m 6 weeks pregnant after IVF. First baby. I’m usually the most laid back, easy going woman. The last two weeks have been hell for both me and DH. I’ve been so horrible to him and he’s utterly wonderful and hasn’t deserved any of it.

Like you, I’m worrying about things that I can usually control. I said to DH tonight that I can’t believe how much I don’t recognise myself at the moment. It’s like I’ve been possessed by a stranger. Im anxious and worrying constantly. It’s not healthy and I really hope I start to feel a bit more relaxed and rational soon 😬

Just came on to say you have my sympathy!

@HighOnPie, thank you, I’ve never felt such a mess. I don’t know when the stress and worry will stop, it feels so out of control. I’m thinking of booking a private scan for reassurance in light of decreasing symptoms but not sure whether I should give in to my fears! DH seems to think I’m being unreasonable and is eternally optimistic.

Definitely sounds like hormones to me. I remember having actual road rage when I was pregnant with my first! I thought I was going round the bend, the rage was so uncontrollable.

Just ride it out.

[quote Begoniagal7]@HighOnPie, thank you, I’ve never felt such a mess. I don’t know when the stress and worry will stop, it feels so out of control. I’m thinking of booking a private scan for reassurance in light of decreasing symptoms but not sure whether I should give in to my fears! DH seems to think I’m being unreasonable and is eternally optimistic.[/quote]
Why not have a reassurance scan? I had one today and it really did put our minds at rest. I don’t feel quite so irrational today, I’m not watching the news and exercising and practicing some first tri yoga. Also reading some books that help with tips for my negative thoughts. I’m slowly returning to myself although expect to have up and down days. Wishing you loads of luck 🍀