Do you think I'd get mental health support?

[mumofweepeople]

Im struggling to get through the day. I just live to get back to bed.

The past year or so has been awful. I was given a MS diagnosis and just left. I was told not to worry as there are 'so many new effective treatment available'. One year later im on nothing.

There was an incidental finding of an enlarged thyroid gland on one of my many MRIs. This turned out to be cancer. I've had two operations and im now waiting on the next part of my treatment.

Im only in my thirties. I have this impending sense of doom. I feel like any hospital appointment or test will show something new, something terminal. I constantly think of it and how I've become this huge burden to my family.

I have young children and I just ache for them. They deserve a well fit and able mum.

How would I even get help for all this? What a mess!

100% you would get mental health support. Tell the GP what you’ve said here and take it from there. I’m so sorry you are having such a rough time. My husband, also in his 30s, has been through cancer over the last year and a half and I can recognise lots of these feelings. There is definitely help there for you. Please ask.

@ShiftingSands21

100% you would get mental health support. Tell the GP what you’ve said here and take it from there. I’m so sorry you are having such a rough time. My husband, also in his 30s, has been through cancer over the last year and a half and I can recognise lots of these feelings. There is definitely help there for you. Please ask.

I'm so sorry about what your husband is going through. How is he?

I just don't understand what they can do? It's a shit situation.

My husband is doing well and his treatment - horrible though it was with 3 ops, chemo and radio - is done and was successful as far as we can tell.

The GP can refer you to someone to talk to or possibly you could have medication or both. It’s obviously not going to change your life circumstances but it’s worth a try. Just a space to get these thoughts off your chest where you don’t need to worry about “burdening” someone else with them could be really valuable.

My husband got a lot out of cancer support groups. Think these were mostly through Maggies. Not always the groups themselves but the people he met who were going through similar experiences. That seems to have made a lot of difference and they are still in touch.

Also you are definitely not a burden to your family. When my husband was really ill and not able to do a thing and just needed help I didn’t think he was a burden. Our daughter is 3 and she adores him and so far as I can tell she is fairly unscathed by the whole thing. I know it’s not as simple as “children are resilient” though - we’ve heard that a bit too much lately!

What happened to you is really such terrible luck and I know it can really make it hard to look at things the same way as before but the doom feelings can be made to subside with some help.

Really sorry that's all happening to you. When I got given a potentially life threatening diagnosis I got no NHS support at all because I didn't fit into their boxes for the right kind of mental health problem, if I'd been generally anxious or depressed (measured by the GAD7 and PH9) then I might have been put on a year's waiting list, but as it was about something specific it didn't count. (You may pass the tests though!)

I'm getting very low cost counselling though a local charity instead and they've been fantastic and it's not limited to CBT nor time limited, so that's something you might want to check out.

I've got a number of the nurse at the Maggie Centre. I'll give them a call and see if they can maybe help. I don't know if a group would help. I'm not going to die so if feel a bit of a fraud! It's all just been too much in quick succession.

I’m so sorry you have been through this OP, it really does take a toll. I have cancer & have had some excellent counselling through Macmillan. I am also on antidepressants (I was on these prior to having health issues but they really help). I would definitely contact your GP, Maggies or Macmillan about additional support. Don’t underestimate what you have been through.

My DH was also at times worries about being a fraud but Maggies (and other services I’m sure) emphasised that they are happy to hear from you regardless of how much danger your cancer is posing to you or even if you have finished treatment and been cured - apparently that’s the time when many people actually experience the emotional crisis from what has happened. That’s what we were told.

You can self refer for CBT. Google iapt

@AliceAbsolum

You can self refer for CBT. Google iapt

I'm in Scotland.

I called the nurses number I have. Turns out she doesn't work for Maggie but macmillan. I'm meeting with her after my appointment this week

Hopefully she will be helpful.

In some parts of Scotland you can self refer for CBT. Try googling your health board's Primary Mental Health Care Team.