Trapped in a profession I both love and hate (NHS)

[yellowbridgebang]

I've worked in an AHP profession in the NHS for nearly 20 years and worked my way up to specialist band 7 role. I love what my job should be and I'm bloody good at it. I've worked so hard at it.

But I hate what the NHS has become. The devaluing, the misery olympics, sick patients receiving poor care, the broken equipment, crap computers, nowhere to eat lunch or have meetings, poor offices and no base, told to wfh to get round previous issues when you actually can't, unhappy patients, always apologising, staff off sick or leaving, endless covid restrictions that will never end.

I'm so exhausted and I feel really panicky at the prospect of doing this for another 20 years. I feel trapped. Not sleeping. Tearful and snappy.

But I'm in such a niche area, extremely specialist, no private work or lecturing, minimal job changes around and tbh, it's same shit, different doorstep.

How do you leave when you've got nothing else to offer and you don't really want to leave because you'd still be really happy if you could just do the job in the right circs.....

I could write your post. I'm an 8b mental health nurse and feel completely trapped and burnt out. Funding DS 2 through university and have 8 year old dd. I can't take a lower paid job
I don't know where to start. I'm on annual leave this week and looks like I'll have to cancel and go in as we have no staff. No joy in my job at all anymore

Senior clinician here, was band 7 in the NHS for 10 years, then poached by a private company paid 8a, still mostly clinical work though. Dealing with a lot of risk, became too much in the end, have now gone into education. Won't do front line clinical again. Like you say it's a shame as I was good at it.

Is there no way you can do lecturing op?

@Swanwithtwonecks

Senior clinician here, was band 7 in the NHS for 10 years, then poached by a private company paid 8a, still mostly clinical work though. Dealing with a lot of risk, became too much in the end, have now gone into education. Won't do front line clinical again. Like you say it's a shame as I was good at it.

Is there no way you can do lecturing op?

I would love to become a lecturer but my niche bit equates to about 3 days of teaching across the 3 year course so not sure what else I'd have to do....and I don't live any where near a uni that does my course - which is probably my biggest barrier!

Is so sad, but also reassuring that it's not just me.

I know I have transferable skills but I've no idea what to transfer them too. I just looked on LinkedIn and got totally overwhelmed by so many jobs that I don't even understand what they are.

I'm also really angry that the way the NHS is being run and the vile, toxic managers that are forcing so many of us out of jobs we love, and the public dearly need.

Are there AHP education roles within your board?
Education roles further afield have become easier due to online lecturing? You could lecture more broadly rather than your niche area? I know AHPs who lecture at HNC/HND level.

In a very similar position OP, I'm at Band 8a having worked over 20 years in the NHS (AHP too, SLT). Single parent so can't afford to move to a lower band, but year on year my mental health is deteoriating so equally can't afford to continue without avoiding complete burnout.
I'm very specialised clinically but the management aspects of my job are the main source of my stress, and these are the transferable skills......! So it feels counter productive to look for something else in management. Could move clinically but would massively struggle to meet mortgage, childcare costs. Aaaagh.

I'm sorry to hijack with my tale of woe, but I'll be following this with interest

I read on here about people who work as medical content writers ,could be an option?

I can really identify how are feeling, I too am 20yrs B7 AHP and trapped in the NHS. On my last mat leave I was so depressed about going back that I down banded and changed specialism and Trust. I had previously done enough junior rotations to make the switch ok-ish and the other candidates at the interview must have been really bad!! Having the change was what needed and built my confidence to begin working for a Charity on a freelance basis. I have a long commute to the clinic rooms but my partner and parents help with childcare. It has honestly changed my out look. I still hate the NHS in so many ways but feel a little less trapped. I’m now also looking at research possibilities, anything to reduce the daily NHS grind. Could a combination of a research post be a potential for you? Particularly if you’re in a niche area, I keep seeing funded PhD programmes being advertised, some of which look amazing.

Haven’t read the whole thread but I hear you on the No base/nowhere to have lunch and the computers. 99% of my nhs career would have been massively improved by a coat hook and locker! It’s hard to concentrate on patients when your worried your stuff is gonna be stolen.

And the amount of extra care and time I could have given patients of the computers worked. I did an audit in one job and found that 20% of staff time was spent waiting for a working computer or telephone. Madness!

Following with interest
I am completely the same OP. I have gotten used to a Band7 salary.
I’m hoping once I’ve had a baby and been on mat leave (and maybe I can drop a day) that I’ll feel more like I can just get my work done and then leave.

@yellowbridgebang I am an AHP in a very niche role that only appear in large cities. I did a secondment for corporate too. Ended up becoming permanent and a promotion. I really love it. I am not the manager but more workforce development. Didn’t think I had transferable skills. It turns out I do.

PM if you want advice. I also do career coaching too

What kind of corporate roles can you get from being an AHP?

@Cbtb

Haven’t read the whole thread but I hear you on the No base/nowhere to have lunch and the computers. 99% of my nhs career would have been massively improved by a coat hook and locker! It’s hard to concentrate on patients when your worried your stuff is gonna be stolen.

And the amount of extra care and time I could have given patients of the computers worked. I did an audit in one job and found that 20% of staff time was spent waiting for a working computer or telephone. Madness!

It's all so true.

I worked in one trust where there weren't enough chairs so even on a lunch rota, some people had to stand or sit on the dirty floor.....

Getting changing in to scrubs that don't ever fit in a room with no lock so people walk in on you. Wearing the only available XXL trousers as a S and treating patients while trying to hold them up is shameful.

1 webcam allowed between 5 and then a bollocking when you all squeeze around said camera for team meeting because they can't see your faces and it's not covid safe.

1 charger allowed for 5 team iPods.

Stationary rations.....

I could go on. Work life could be so much nicer.

I'm just about 20 years qualified, actually considering returning to NHS to retrain in different role having been out for health reasons. Currently quite comfortable in my job, same shit different format though the NHS exodus is alarming and truly unique. One of the reasons I'm considering returning is because so many are leaving, and I wonder if I can contribute in a little way to an organisation which I think is wonderful but has been exploited to near-death by the worst kind of bosses and politicians.

OP, put your CV and a profile into LinkedIn, you will be surprised at how it might open some doors you hadn't considered. Make a few connections with friends on there, or someone with similar roles, and the network grows and sometimes strangers in related fields will contact you.

Also, if you're so niche, will they struggle to fill your post? Will that give you an edge to negotiating perhaps slightly more comfortable working conditions? A love for the job / field is difficult to bury regardless of remuneration in a new job. I think you might miss it if you leave without making the demands. I think it's more than just a matter of telling your manager you're unhappy... Present them with the argument that it is in the interest of the team and specialist services to try and prolong your stay in the department. Would you resign and then come back as part-time agency staff? If they are worried about covering the gap you leave then it could be useful. Of course, there is every possibility they won't give a shit. Do yourself justice before you make life changing decisions.

I understand how you feel @yellowbridgebang and it can feel awful being trapped.
In terms of teaching, when you work at a university, you tend to be asked to teach a broad range of subjects. As an example, if say you were an Occupational Therapist, you would teach on your course but you would probably have skills that were transferable and you could teach on health & social care courses, plus nursing & physio maybe. Alongside the teaching, you might have responsibilities to be a personal tutor and you could also support students in practice placements. Although you don't live near a university, could you consider an online option like the Open University? Lots of learning is now online due to Covid so it has presented more options to work like that.
Again, looking from a different perspective, some private health care organisations are employing staff in non traditional roles now. Eg, a menopause service that is employing OTs. I realise the OT role might be quite different to what you do but it is an example of how varied the role can be. Would your role be of use in the charitable sector? Sometimes roles come up in those areas.
Finally, another option could be to move from a large NHS organisation to a small one. I did this and went to work in a small GP practice and it was so nice- really restored my faith in the NHS as it showed how nice a small team can be. I hope you find something that suits you.

We might be in the same profession, OP. I hear you.

I think a PP’s suggestion to go to weekend working to do less work for the same money is a neat suggestion, if you have 7-day working. Also, what about a sabbatical, just to get a break? I know it doesn’t solve the core problem.

You mention equipment, what about looking at the manufacturers of that equipment? There may be work in education, sales, research for one of these companies and they will be able to use your clinical knowledge. I know someone who has done this.

Separately, the AHP crisis is coming, big time. All the more experienced staff burnt out and leaving, with the only plan being to train loads more into B5 roles. As you say, a huge experience gap and massively discouraging for those coming in as NQPs. How long will they last?

Separately, the AHP crisis is coming, big time. All the more experienced staff burnt out and leaving, with the only plan being to train loads more into B5 roles.

Or, in my Trust, employ dozens of dubiously qualified overseas staff who are a liability to work with.

They are not all terrible but many are evidently nowhere near qualified (unable to identify the orbits on a Head CT despite holding a PGC in CT, allegedly, that turned out to be a weekend and US$200 to obtain...); many don't understand the roles and responsibilities in the NHS as they come from situations where they have no autonomy thus cannot make decisions or, more importantly not do things that cannot be justified. 2 man patslides are becoming the norm. Within the team, the boys won't be told what to do by the girls, there is frequent low level conflict. I'm on edge all the time.

But raise any of this, and No! You're mistaken! - from a B7 manager who you've just watched tell someone off for making the same mistake four times in a row. Proper mistakes, like failing to correctly identify the patient; or eight failed attempts at cannulating without seeking help. Or being gaslit from a 8A sitting in an office elsewhere.

I want out.

Work privately?

Working privately is usually poorer paid and worse conditions in terms of annual leave, training, supervision etc
Basically being in a caring profession sucks !!

@salemcat fellow student nurse here. Completely agree.

Working privately doesn’t really solve any of the problems.

I can't really work privately anyway. I need a lot of equipment and do procedures that have to be performed on medical premises (and not the sort of thing people go to private hospitals for!)

In answer to an earlier question - if I left they would miss me and my experience but they wouldn't fill it. All band 7 jobs are being down banded to 5s (get more bums on seats that way) so the extended scope of practice I can do will cease to exist for the patients 🤷‍♀️

I'm a band 6 ED Sister and feel exactly the same.
I want out. I really hate my job. I've worked in the same ED for >26 years. Started as a HCA. I don't know any other work. I used to love my job.
The recent changes have been horrible.
I'm embarrassed to tell people where I work, the waiting times are 11 hours to see a Dr on most shifts, management dont care, most of the staff are newly qualified. They seem to spend more time on their appearance then caring for the patients. We had 1 ECG and 3 thermometers that worked yesterday with 173 patients in the department. Patient care is compromised when you can't even do an ECG on someone with chest pain.
It's a shit show 😭

How about a move into primary care? You would have a base, a regular team and I’m sure transferable skills from your current role. That way you can chose a team and location that suits you and also more scope to work the hours/ days you prefer.
Lots of GP practices looking to take on AHPs as GP numbers continuing to fall

@dalmatianmad

I'm a band 6 ED Sister and feel exactly the same. I want out. I really hate my job. I've worked in the same ED for >26 years. Started as a HCA. I don't know any other work. I used to love my job. The recent changes have been horrible. I'm embarrassed to tell people where I work, the waiting times are 11 hours to see a Dr on most shifts, management dont care, most of the staff are newly qualified. They seem to spend more time on their appearance then caring for the patients. We had 1 ECG and 3 thermometers that worked yesterday with 173 patients in the department. Patient care is compromised when you can't even do an ECG on someone with chest pain. It's a shit show 😭

God, I feel your pain. Just about all our equipment is > 20 years old, literally held together with elastic bands and gaffer tape. Engineers are literally scavenging spare parts from India. A day does not go by without at least one CT scanner breaking (so we double up on the other). Mistakes are commonplace, but the newly arrived overseas qualified staff never, ever Datix anything; and management's line is 'work slower' - what, so the nightshift staff are overwhelmed by what we failed to achieve during the day?

I used to like my job but I actively hate it now. I have never felt so unsupported.