Opting out of Mother’s Day emails

[MissDynamite23]

What does everyone think about the emails offering you the opportunity to opt out of Mother’s Day marketing? To me, it almost feels worse than the marketing emails themselves. I’ve been inundated with opt out emails and I can’t imagine being in a state of grief and wanting to actively deal with each company to opt out.

I was infertile for years and then lost three babies before becoming a mum, and struggled with my own emotionally immature mother at the same time. I just wanted to ignore it, not have to repeatedly confirm my status as a non-mother with nothing to celebrate. Call me a cynic, but it feels like another gimmick and excuse to pester people.

I'm glad as my mum died last year after going into hospital shortly before Mother's Day.

It is great to be able to opt out.

It's great, I love it and so do my family members who lost their mother on Mother's Day.

That's not what the OP's saying, though. She's making the point that getting a lot of emails about opting out of emails is making you think about the very thing you're being invited to opt out of thinking about.

I'm glad I get them, my mum is dead and my MiL has dementia so wouldn't know what day it id.

I think it's great. I opt out then I don't get any more mails. It's better than the alternative of getting more and more emails as the date approaches.

@SpinningTheSeedsOfLove it's short-term though. Once you've opted out you won't hear from them on the subject again.

It's a lot less intrusive than all the TV and radio ads, supermarket signs etc.

It only reminds you once then never again if you opt out. I hate Mother’s Day with a passion

I like that they're doing it. It doesn't help that much but at least they're making an effort. I expect it'll change from this as a thing soon.

I'd be astonished if it actually worked. I've never opted into a single marketing email, yet their promise that they'd never contact me again when GDPR was introduced seems to have been a big fat lie and they send more than ever now.

I'd be astonished if it actually worked

Well, it does.

@SpinningTheSeedsOfLove

That's not what the OP's saying, though. She's making the point that getting a lot of emails about opting out of emails is making you think about the very thing you're being invited to opt out of thinking about.

It's exactly what she said. She asked what we thought.

You get one email (per company) and that's it. If you don't opt out you keep getting emails promoting the day.

I would rather have to opt out of these emails once per company than get multiple emails through for a month beforehand.

Interesting to read these comments. I run a small gifting business and will be selling mothers day gifts. I considered sending these opt out emails but they feel gimmicky to me…maybe I’m wrong. I say this as someone who struggles with mother’s day, after the death of my eldest child a couple of years ago.

If a lot of companies contact you once, that's still a lot of emails.

I can personally see how, if you have cause to be upset about something pertaining to Mother's Day, that dealing with a slew of opt-out emails might feel a bit emotional. That's all.

But whatever.

@SpinningTheSeedsOfLove that’s exactly it. Maybe I’m signed up to too many things due to my excessive shopping habit but it just feels like a constant reminder. I was just curious as to whether others felt like that or if it was a welcome acknowledgment of their loss or personal circumstances.

I am glad to see they are working for the majority of people who have responded though. That’s positive.

OP, I think you just have to bite the bullet and dedicate half an hour or so to Opting Out, sturdy drink in hand.

Then hopefully that'll be that, indefinitely.

Sorry about your personal circumstances. Many of us don't like Mother's Day for all sorts of reasons

I saw someone on twitter saying something to the effect of "now I've opted out of this company's mothers day emails I'll be able to use my phone that day."

Not all of them will though. And social media will be full of posts about mothers, and so will this site. You'll still know what day it is. So it just feels a bit performative for the sake of it.

I've opted out of some Fathers Day things because my father was a cunt, so why not. But if anything you just end up thinking about it more, instead of just mass deleting everything with "Father's Day" in it in one go.

I agree with you, OP.

If you know that something you want to do is likely to upset a lot of people, it's almost worse to send out emails deliberately mentioning it than just scatter-gunning them without thinking/acknowledging that some people will find them painful.

It's the fact that you've actively thought about the pain it will cause a lot of people, but that you're nevertheless still acknowledging that your profits are more important to you than the upset that you will cause them.

It could even be a calculated way of avoiding their wasting any marketing money on you - say if they're planning on sending out coupons and tempting offers in the post - when they know that you won't be profitable to them - all the while pretending that they're doing it because they care about you.

@Rrrob

Interesting to read these comments. I run a small gifting business and will be selling mothers day gifts. I considered sending these opt out emails but they feel gimmicky to me…maybe I’m wrong. I say this as someone who struggles with mother’s day, after the death of my eldest child a couple of years ago.

I also run a gift type business and I also lost a child (many years ago now) and I know exactly what you mean about are they ‘gimmicky’

I send the opt out email because on balance I feel it’s the right thing to do and I’d rather people just got one opt out email than a whole host of emails pre MD itself.

Basically I thought about what I would have preferred all those years ago and opting out is what I would have chosen.

Tip for those of you using Gmail -

1. in the search bar at the top of the page, click the little symbol on the right which shows 3 tiny little sliders.

1. When it drops down, find the 'Includes the words' box, about halfway down the dropout form, and type the phrase 'mother's day' (or whatever term)

1. Click 'Create filter' next to the search button at the bottom of the form

1. The next stage of the form will show up and you can then select the option to 'Delete it', send it to archive, forward it, etc.

You can do this with any term and then it'll automatically deal with the email for you - so you'll never need to opt out of any of them again :)

@SpinningTheSeedsOfLove

If a lot of companies contact you once, that's still a lot of emails.

I can personally see how, if you have cause to be upset about something pertaining to Mother's Day, that dealing with a slew of opt-out emails might feel a bit emotional. That's all.

But whatever.

It's significantly fewer emails than all the ones you'd get promoting Mother's Day though. That is the point.

I send the opt out email because on balance I feel it’s the right thing to do and I’d rather people just got one opt out email than a whole host of emails pre MD itself.

Basically I thought about what I would have preferred all those years ago and opting out is what I would have chosen.

To be completely honest, I don't think most people want spam emails at all. It's not like most of them are showcasing amazing offers or deals - just the same old, telling you that X shop sells exactly what you know and would expect that they sell.

Most marketing is basically intrusion and these opt-out emails sent in advance are just a way for the retailers to hedge their bets against pushing boundaries too far and make it look like they care.

Asda send me an irritating email every week ordering me to 'stop scrolling' because, basically, Asda exists - as if I'm some kind of nincompoop who's desperate to find something to spend my money on and, even though I'm clearly online to be able to see their spam, they appear to assume that I'm too stupid to look for what I actually might want myself. I just ignore it - delete it if I can be bothered: some shop wanting to sell me something in no way correlates with my sincere wish to buy it.

If I no longer want to receive emails, I unsubscribe. Simple.

I do want to see the normal offers from (say) Ocado, I don't want to be bombarded with their Mother's Day offers. It's not rocket science.

@WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll

I send the opt out email because on balance I feel it’s the right thing to do and I’d rather people just got one opt out email than a whole host of emails pre MD itself.

Basically I thought about what I would have preferred all those years ago and opting out is what I would have chosen.

To be completely honest, I don't think most people want spam emails at all. It's not like most of them are showcasing amazing offers or deals - just the same old, telling you that X shop sells exactly what you know and would expect that they sell.

Most marketing is basically intrusion and these opt-out emails sent in advance are just a way for the retailers to hedge their bets against pushing boundaries too far and make it look like they care.

Asda send me an irritating email every week ordering me to 'stop scrolling' because, basically, Asda exists - as if I'm some kind of nincompoop who's desperate to find something to spend my money on and, even though I'm clearly online to be able to see their spam, they appear to assume that I'm too stupid to look for what I actually might want myself. I just ignore it - delete it if I can be bothered: some shop wanting to sell me something in no way correlates with my sincere wish to buy it.

The thing is I get really good engagement and open rate - and a lovely amount of genuine conversation from my mailing list. I really really try not to send ‘spam’ emails - as that’s counter productive in a business sense to be honest.

Plus if someone doesn’t want to hear from me about new products or styling suggestions for example then surely they’d just unsubscribe.

I would - and do so - after all!