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Original poster

Signed off work, what now?

45 replies

Soverytired01 · 27/02/2022 10:33

Hi all have NC for this.

So as the title suggests I've been signed off work with stress (not depression just stress) and I feel worse, not sure if this is normal?

It's been a couple of weeks now and I just can't relax and switch off. Everything came to a bit of a head at work there were some big deadlines to meet and now they are done I just had a bit of a mental collapse. It's everything really over the last few years, covid, homeschooling, caring for ill family members etc it all got a bit much and the doctor just said stop.

But I don't know what to do now. My children arr at school and nursery so I have a school day length free. I just can't relax. My heart is pounding all the time I can't concentrate on anything, I feel like.my brains in a fog.

The doctor said I need to completely stop and not use this time to to clean or anything just to rest and heal but I don't know where to start.

I feel on high alert all the time. My husband says it will take time to come down from all the stress. Do I just need to let the tears flow and sleep? I feel like a shadow of the woman I was

I feel so bloody guilty, looking around at the news that's real stress real high alert. I actually have a lovely little life, no money worries lovely house we are very privileged so why the hell do I feel like this.

Where do I go from here? Has anyone else been signed off and how did you heal?

OP posts:

Charliesgotachocolatefactory · 27/02/2022 13:09

Possibly a controversial suggestion but would speaking to a professional help? I went off with stress but there was a very specific cause (person!) and removing myself from the situation helped a lot but not entirely. I saw a counsellor through my company’s employment wellbeing and it helped to get it all out to a neutral third party and gave me a few coping skills. It also prepared me for going back to work eventually.

I wish you well and hope you get back to a more relaxed state soon.

Tallisimo · 27/02/2022 13:13

My GP told me to go out for gentle walks, take time to took around and enjoy what you see. To drink my favourite tea or coffee, to sit and read if that was my ‘thing’, to sleep if I needed it, to rest and to chill!

Doodlepip23 · 27/02/2022 13:20

I’m in the same situation OP, but not signed off just yet - although my GP wanted to, I said to her that I couldn’t envisage what I would do apart from tidy and clean. Same as you, I have a lovely home etc, but my heart pounds, my head aches and I feel like I could cry all day and struggle to get myself together. Blood pressure high as well. I’ve started focussing on nutrition and leaving the housework a bit longer. DH helping out a bit more too. Take it one day at a time and see how you get on, try not to think too far ahead. Over the last few years, with home schooling and juggling demanding job, I have forgotten how to relax and it sounds like you are the same OP x

ArnoldBee · 27/02/2022 13:22

Actually doing completely nothing can be detrimental and give you more problems. You need to do something simple and easy. My easy thing at one point was that I bought a 99p kite and all I had to do was keep it in the air.

JolieJ · 27/02/2022 13:43

I was like this after an anxiety period, my doctor prescribed beta blockers to help me get my heart rate under control and it worked really well! After just a day or two my body didn't feel like it was in right or flight mode.

You need to go back to GP and say you're struggling with the physical symptoms of anxiety.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 27/02/2022 14:22

@Soverytired01

School / nursery have also done a double take, I usually turn up full makeup, office wear etc. Now I'm turning up in yoga pants and a hoody and ponytail and no makeup, it's strangely liberating but also I don't feel like "me". Hmmm

Might exercise be something you'd be interested in? That way, wearing sports wear wouldn't be 'fake', but would be because you're on your way to the gym/pool after dropping them off?

If you like swimming, it can be incredibly relaxing and very centring, as you have the sensation of warm water on your skin and through your hair, the smell, the movement, the quiet - you're still doing something, which could address the fight or flight response if you're subconsciously expecting something awful to happen, but it's something safe, done at your own pace and it's a bubble where the outside world doesn't have to encroach.

Afterwards, you get dressed, dry your hair and there's a good chance you'll feel hungry - get yourself nice things, stuff that you fancy, that's high in vitamins, pretty colours and nourishes you.

Woolandwonder · 27/02/2022 14:38

It's hard. Try and create a routine for yourself but that's got soothing relaxing things in it. Eg school run, go for a walk, lunch, nap, garden for an hour, school pick up.
Keep it really simple, include some of the things you have said like reading kindle, baking, having a bath. Try and treat the time off work as time to recover, your stress levels will slowly begin to come down but it will take time.

caringcarer · 27/02/2022 16:34

I hope you feel better soon. When I felt really stressed I found just sleeping in day time helped because I couldn't sleep at night. Then a long bath rather than rushed shower. Play soothing music. Sit in garden to get fresh air, even if for 10 mins each day. I used to sit in deck chair and drink a cup of tea in a travel mug.

Honourofgrayskull · 27/02/2022 17:05

I was in your position about a year ago, I just felt like everything was too much, I constantly had that nervous feeling in my stomach, couldn't sleep and shallow stressed breathing and on the verge of tears most of the day. I'm sorry you're feeling this way but you will get through this.
I was signed off work for a couple of months and I cried with relief. I went for long walks everyday, and went to the gym most days (where I was already a member) I found Yoga and essential oils soothed me and brought me back to the present moment along with the deeper breathing techniques which I still use almost daily. You can do yoga at home, lots of YouTube sessions.
I think just slowing down helped me if that makes sense and I taught myself crochet which was a great thing for not letting my mind get carried away. It sounds as though you have support at home so take advantage of that as you need to focus on yourself right now.
I also spoke to a councilor which helped more than I thought it would, helped me put things I perspective.
I really hope you feel better soon 💓

thingymaboob · 27/02/2022 17:21

It takes ages to come down from stress. I took 4 weeks off with stress about 8 years ago following an awful period at work (paramedic). I wasn't sleeping, my concentration was shot and I was vomiting with anxiety.
I found I slept a lot, took lots of baths and I tiled the windowsill in the kitchen. I had never tiled before so made various trips to the tile shop, watched a lot of tutorials on YouTube and it was quite complicated as there were a lot of nooks and corners and I had to measure and cut the tiles with a tile cutter. This little project was exactly what I needed in those weeks. It was all about mindfulness and was so far removed from my stress life, it gave me a little goal everyday. Just something small and not overwhelming - if I had done nothing I would have been overwhelmed by my thoughts. Maybe a little project, something with mindfulness at the heart of it? Painting / sewing / baking?
We recently had our kitchen ripped out and I shed a little tear and it was great therapy to tile that windowsill!

Original poster

Soverytired01 · 27/02/2022 19:33

Thanks for all the lovely comments.

Today has been an up and down sort of day. I had a bath, fell asleep in it twice, then had another cry on the couch. Got in the garden for a bit aswell which was good. Made dinner, children about to go to bed and we are planning to watch call the midwife we are a bit behind and then an early night.

We actually have leisure club membership but it has lapsed so need to reactivate it. I do like swimming then a steam and sauna and a lovely shower after I should do that more often. But Im already anxious just thinking about it as I won't have my phone so won't know if nursery etc ring if something is wrong, normally I go the gym evening or weekend.

Anyway, tomorrow my very small goal will be to ring the dentist. That's it!

OP posts:

user1471538283 · 27/02/2022 21:24

I was signed off with work stress years and I was off for 7 months. Even after 2 months I was still on high alert and could barely function. My friend said it would take as long as it takes and to imagine i was a train coming to a stop but everything behind me didnt.

Until I could think straight I didnt really function. You need to rest. Maybe something mindless on tv, long baths. Be kind to yourself.

Cocogreen · 27/02/2022 22:43

Baths.
Lying down, gentle focused breathing, in and out, for as long as you can.
Sitting outside, rugged up, warm drink, try to be still.
Walking.
Be in nature whenever you can.

Queenie6655 · 27/02/2022 22:46

Gosh you ooor thing

Cut out caffeine
Long hot baths
Journaling
Gratitude list
Avoid social media

Treat yourself like you would treat a baby. Gentle and compassionate

Don't rush this xxxxxx

1940s · 27/02/2022 22:48

When this happened to me I enjoyed the gym. I'm not a fit gym person by any means but I found a few classes I quite enjoyed and mapped out my weekly timetable. I'd turn up comfortably early, get changed, do the class and then very leisurely get ready afterwards including lots of lotion / simple make up / hair conditioner and spray. I'd try to time off so I would then cook a simple lunch at home when I got back and by 1pm I'd expended enough energy and felt 'accomplished' and it really helped with my stress

SusieSusieSoo · 27/02/2022 23:44

Hi OP you might like to listen to some podcasts or read. I was recommended dr rangan chattergee about 3 years ago. Literally saved me from ending up where you are now. Lots of free podcasts to listen to including short bite size ones. I love to listen whilst I'm doing a bit in the garden - helps me to focus my mind on something.

Randomly I also find the cinema incredibly good for switching off. Downtown the Movie reset my head better than a therapy session when I went to see that.

I can recommend sing 2 altho not in the same league as downtown or a good James Bond. Hope you feel better soon xx

Notcreativeatall · 27/02/2022 23:52

I think different things work for different people. I was off with stress a few years ago. its hard just to switch off and do nothing. Sometimes doing something time consuming helps- tidying a cupboard for example. or a change of scene- dog walk? go to a library/book shop
Did your GP suggest any medication? it can help as a circuit breaker

NeverDropYourMooncup · 27/02/2022 23:59

@Soverytired01

Thanks for all the lovely comments.

Anyway, tomorrow my very small goal will be to ring the dentist. That's it!

Nursery would phone Dad instead if you didn't pick up. That's exactly why you are asked for at least one other emergency contact.

After you've done the dentist call, start thinking again about how you have described time at the leisure club. That would be a wonderful thing to do - perhaps you could just pack a bag with costume, towel, brush, shampoo, padlock for the locker and have it sitting ready for you? Then there's no need to then have to find things - they're there, ready for the time when you are twitchy and need to do something.

It's even better going during the day/straight from drop off, as it's so quiet compared to evenings. I love having a day off during the week to be able to do it - and some of the daytime classes are far, far better than the evenings.

TrashyPanda · 28/02/2022 00:01

I find audiobooks are great. They stop intrusive thoughts when out walking the dogs.
I listen to cosy mysteries and Harry Potter. Nothing that requires great concentration. I listen in bed too, setting the timer. I’m usually asleep in under 5 minutes, thanks to them.
Jigsaws and colouring books are great too.

scoobydoo1971 · 28/02/2022 00:26

I am on sick leave. I have had a catastrophic accident with a life changing injury and permanent disability. How I deal with it is to read, draw, avoid social media and the news, walk, do gardening, cook, listen to podcasts and meditate to regulate breathing. Hope you feel better soon.

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