Anyone else's 10yo just have a continuous monologue on the go all the time?

[BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz]

I don't know anyone who talks as much. It's relentless. She gets plenty attention, conversation, does some hobbies, she does it to me, her dad, her sibling.

She doesn't filter the content of what she says, narrates what she is doing, even when others are doing other activities around her, constantly stops during tasks to show or talk about each single element (eg if we sit and paint she will stop and comment on every brush stroke, every colour).

If she tells an anecdote from something that happens at school, she doesn't seem to know how to end it, so just keeps going - I nod along and ask questions etc, but then it just keeps going and the info she then adds to the story starts to sound like she's just making it up, so that she can keep talking.

It's been an intense half term as it's been on max all week. I'm feeling like a bad parent as its grinding me down. I never want her to feel like she can't talk to me (for obvious reasons!) but similarly, no one can maintain this level of attention.

Her sibling can't get a word in edgeways. I have to find comfortable points where I can ask her to pause as her sibling has something to say, then she just picks back up where she left off.

Some days I just want to rip off my ears.

My son was like this a couple of years ago and it was unbelievably annoying.
My ears would literally be ringing by the time he went to bed!

It was just a constant stream of chat about anything.

We put it down to him emulating the YouTubers he was watching 😳 He was narrating every part of his life.

Luckily at 12 and no more YouTube, he’s no longer doing it but I have the opposite these days as I can barely get him to talk at all 😂

I pretty much remember my dad (father of 3 daughters) saying he could never get a word in because we never stopped to draw breath!!

Are you teaching her conversational rules? Are you saying her to stop talking?

Yes and it drives me up the wall, especially when I’m having to work from home. Both my children do/did this (the 11 year old now has stopped) and at one point I do remember absentmindedly saying ‘you keep talking sweetheart, I’ll be back in a minute’ when going to answer the door🤪. It’s a phase and it will pass.

Thinks back fondly of DS who whitters on about Pokemon ...

Once they get to the teens and just grunt at you , I dare say you'll miss it ?
DS is 22 , I drove him to work on Friday and he bent my ear about the discrepancies of equal opportunities

It's fine to say we're all having some quiet time now.

It might also be good to decide to have some one on one time with each sibling which is not to be disturbed. Start with your DD and have dedicated time with her so she can see how it works and inform the other sibling that it is DD's special time. Then, tell DD it is now her sibling turn for special time so she must go and play quietly and not interrupt. If she does, remind her she has had her special time and she must not spoil sibling's time. At least this makes her realise there are appropriate times to talk and you get a break from the constant monologue.

Or of she is painting, tell her you want it to be a surprise and not to tell you about it until she has finished it so it doesn't spoil the surprise. If she tries to tell you, say ooh no don't spoil it. Then at the end go OTT about how wonderful it is and give her chance to tell you about it then.

Mine is inclined to do this. I have become quite decisive in sometimes listening properly and other times interrupting to tell him to either tell the shorter version or to let someone else speak. He clearly has v limited understanding of conversation rules so I think it's my job to teach him. He doesn't actually seem to be absorbing these for himself (ffs) but in the moment it sorts things (so I think he appreciates it on some level even if he cant yet judge it it himself) and i live in hope. He has always been like this so definitely not a phase here.

@Happylittlethoughts

Are you teaching her conversational rules? Are you saying her to stop talking?

I do sometimes ask her to try and tell me her story in 3 sentences or to think about what the best bits are to share with me.

We all chat in our house - so if I'm doing an activity with a child or driving somewhere we chat all the way! We all chat over dinner etc.

If I'm not in the mood to chat or am really not interested I ask for the short version or sometimes I say I want some quiet to read can you tell me in 15mins?

I wouldnt sit and paint/eat/craft in silence though!

If I want some quiet

Oh gosh I'm not asking for quiet, just maybe a bit of effort into what is being said with some gaps for other people to respond.

Can I just ask, has she always been like this? Cos I hav a little one thee same & the thought that it will still be going when she’s ten is…worrying.

She's always been chatty. But I'd say over the last 2 years it's become like when the staff at Aldi just launch the products at you and you just have to try and catch all the items and not break the eggs

Sometimes she starts talking in the back of the car with no indication of who she is talking to. So if I respond she will say "I'm talking to sibling", or if I don't respond she'll say "mum, I'm talking to you"

How do I know?! I ask her "who are you talking to here?"

I have 10 year old twins. They play minecraft then tell me all about… every detail. I all for 3 things about their day or I’d hear the whole day in real time! Finding out about Dd1 age 14’s day is a while different challenge!

Yep ds7 likes to explain/ monologue things in ever repeating circles. It's not a conversation its verbal diarrhoea really about his interests. I think the kids at school are slowly sorting it because he was cross about 2 of them talking over him when he was monologuing at his poor best friend. His little brother just shouts over him.

@BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz

She's always been chatty. But I'd say over the last 2 years it's become like when the staff at Aldi just launch the products at you and you just have to try and catch all the items and not break the eggs

I'm sorry but I laughed so hard at this. What a hilarious picture I now have in my head 😂 yes, this is also definitely my child and yes, I dread to think what she will be like once she is 10. Thank you for making me laugh today and good luck with your little chatterbox!