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Original poster

I feel like I don't fit in with people!

17 replies

SouthMan28 · 25/02/2022 21:51

I have a learning disability and feel like I don't fit in with anyone! I also feel like I'm not successful as I'm working a low skilled dead end job, I drive a shit car and I've not ever been abroad at the age of 29! I just feel like such a loser! Looking at social media everyone looks like they have a better life than me and it makes me feel depressed!
I also don't have many friends as I feel people look down at me and disapprove, like they just stare and sneer at me! My family even don't make any bother to contact me, for all they know I could be dead!

How do I go about this? I feel so done with life! 😣

OP posts:
ShiftingSands21 · 25/02/2022 22:03

Social media is frequently not representative of real life! And being successful shouldn’t be about having a fancy car. There are definitely people out there who are your people but it’s not always easy to make connections. What do you like doing? Any hobbies?

bruce43mydog · 26/02/2022 16:41

Just go for a walk and enjoy your own space the right people will always be there. 💐

000YourMum000 · 26/02/2022 16:42

Do you have any friends? Have you ever had a relationship? Could you get a pet?

Mabelface · 26/02/2022 16:45

Love, I'm 52 and have been abroad once. I have asd and never fitted in, but now I don't care as this is who I am. You have a job, that's good. You're independent, that's also good. You're articulate and write well. You have more going for you than you think you have and you've achieved more than you think.

Lightning020 · 26/02/2022 16:54

I find mainstream people emotionally exhausting after a short while. Being a naturally alternative person fitting in is hard. My job suits my temperament but a social life and endless friends really doesnt hit the spot.

I only have an old banger of a car but do not enjoy living in overdraft mode hence I live modestly.

Perhaps you do not naturally come across people who are kind and caring.

Is there a cheap hobby you can find to do either alone or with a group of people to soothe the stresses of the mind? Hobbies keep you going in life they really do.

Suprima · 26/02/2022 17:00

I’ll imagine you’ll get a lot of soothing and people saying ‘social media isn’t reaaaaal’, but I take it you just want to earn a bit more and have a holiday- not drive a lambo and be popping bottles with models in Cannes? I imagine you want to take action?

First of all…how does your learning disability hold you back- is it literacy? Processing?

You can improve your life, you really can.

What are you interested in, what are your barriers?

Original poster
SouthMan28 · 26/02/2022 17:40

@000YourMum000

Do you have any friends? Have you ever had a relationship? Could you get a pet?
I don't have many friends, but i do try to make friends. It feels like people don't want to be friends with me. Some people even give me looks and sneer at me! Sad
OP posts:
Original poster
SouthMan28 · 26/02/2022 17:41

@000YourMum000

Do you have any friends? Have you ever had a relationship? Could you get a pet?
And yes I've had a relationship
OP posts:
Original poster
SouthMan28 · 26/02/2022 17:54

@Suprima

I’ll imagine you’ll get a lot of soothing and people saying ‘social media isn’t reaaaaal’, but I take it you just want to earn a bit more and have a holiday- not drive a lambo and be popping bottles with models in Cannes? I imagine you want to take action?

First of all…how does your learning disability hold you back- is it literacy? Processing?

You can improve your life, you really can.

What are you interested in, what are your barriers?

Yes, I would like to action!

I do have some sort of learning disability as I was in special needs classes at school and did struggle in some areas at school. My parents never got me diagnosed for a disability! It could be Autism I have, but I don't know. Confused

OP posts:
blueshoes · 26/02/2022 17:54

What Suprima said.

It is good that you have a job. You are living independently. You must give yourself due credit for that. You have got your act together.

So what is it that you want improved and take it in turn, baby steps.

Can you change your job? You will meet a new set of colleagues. Take up a hobby that gets you out there. If you go about tweaking parts of your life (it does not have to be all at once), something somewhere will come your way. Your break is out there.

duvetdayforeveryone · 26/02/2022 17:58

Despite having a learning disability you have a job and can drive. You should be proud of yourself.

I have a learning difficulty, cannot even hold a volunteer position and I cannot drive (apart from driving the people around me crazy).

If your family don't want to be in contact with you, then that is their loss.

When I talk everyones' reaction is "you're funny", except it is not funny as I'm pretty sure they are laughing at me not with me :(

lljkk · 26/02/2022 17:59

That's so sad, OP.
I know I don't fit in but for totally different reasons, I made my peace with it when I was about 10. I've had the sneering thing, too not least from MNers

I think you'd feel more self-confident if you had folk in your life who made you feel appreciated.

I said it before... I do a lot of volunteering. Even if work went badly or my family dissed me, I know the people I volunteer for/with hugely appreciate my efforts.

Suprima · 26/02/2022 17:59

@SouthMan28

Ok. You write very well and you are a good communicator so that’s great.

Do you have rent to pay, or can you afford to retrain and take a paycut? Would you be able to go and stay with family and pay housekeeping whilst you retrained in something?

There are lots of options out there regarding apprenticeships and trainee positions.

If you need to keep working, there are also practical skills like coding that could self-teach with YouTube and online courses on coursera. If you feel that coding might be too technical, you could teach yourself excel skills with a view to applying to data entry and admin jobs.

You don’t need to be in a ‘dead end job’ forever. There will be sacrifices to be made but you can do it. Might be worth a visit to the job centre to have a chat with someone there about what’s available in your area.

duvetdayforeveryone · 26/02/2022 18:00

I also have Autism.

whymewhyme · 26/02/2022 18:19

You are absolutely not a loser!! Ive never been abroad at 37 and i dont drive

Gowithme · 26/02/2022 18:28

Your learning disability is a bit of a super power as it enables you to weed out the arse holes very quickly, anyone who looks down on you is not worth your time. The genuine ones will appreciate you for who you are, stick with them and appreciate them - you don't need tonnes of friends a few is enough.

OP a diagnosis might be worth considering as it could really help you to understand yourself. Think about where your struggles lie at their most basic level- is it with reading/writing - possible dyslexia, is it with socialising and understanding people - possible asd, is it with balance and motor skills/clumsiness - possible dyspraxia. Do a google of the main things you struggle with and see what comes up, it might give you some idea.

Gowithme · 26/02/2022 18:29

Also - do yo actually want to go abroad OP or di you feel like you should because everyone else seems to be?

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