Told my breathe smells

[Spottyhippo]

My lovely boss had to have this conversation with me today. She was as gentle and as nice as she could be. But it has been mentioned by a client and a coworker.

I floss and brush my teeth twice a day. I'm not gross I promise. But I do have quite a nasty infection in a wisdom tooth that I'm waiting for the dental hospital to see me about because it's too awkward for my normal dentist.

Anyway I'm going to start eating mints/ gum throughout the day to hopefully deal with things. But how do I deal with the embarrassment? I cried in front of my boss which I've never done in work before ever. She let me go home an hour early because I was upset so I know all my coworkers will know that I've been upset and will probably know why. And I just feel like I want to run away not have to face Monday. Any tips?

as someone who suffers from a long standing wisdom tooth issue I am conscious of having horrible breath a lot and social distancing and masks have been so good for this . Tbh I feel like no one should ever be that close to anyone outside of their household where they can smell someone’s breath or see nostril hairs or anything like that .

Thank you all for being so kind. I have drafted and then deleted a resignation email. I feel awful but think I need to tough it out. The biggest thing that’s upsetting me is knowing it was discussed by coworkers. But that can’t be helped so onwards.

@sageandbasil

Also, it's absolutely not impossible for another dentist to do it. My husbands a periodontist and removes impacted wisdom teeth all the time... the people that work in the hospital also work in practices... they won't put you under a GA for one wisdom tooth or if they did the waiting list would be massive, they could offer sedation which practices also do

I had to have mine done in the hospital as there was so much bone that needed chiseling away first. It was good they held that line as I bled uncontrollably and needed maxillofacial specialist support. Some wisdom teeth can be really complicated.

OP I have a great sense of smell and I'd say be wary of advice to try and mask the smell. For those of us with great sense of smells it just then smells of rankness and mint. The mint does not hide the rankness. I hope you get your appointment soon.

Tbh I feel like no one should ever be that close to anyone outside of their household where they can smell someone’s breath or see nostril hairs or anything like that .

If my OH eats cheese, I can smell it on his breath from the other side of the room!

Oh bless you, at least you know the reason for it and it’s temporary.
Many years ago I remember a colleague feeling awful as she had to speak to a junior staff member about body odour - she was mortified and was so worried about upsetting them -

I’ve never worked somewhere where it would be acceptable to gossip about someone having bad breath- you’d just look like a bully if you tried! I’m guessing it’s the same in your workplace? So don’t worrry about people being mean behind your back x

@Spottyhippo

Thank you all for being so kind. I have drafted and then deleted a resignation email. I feel awful but think I need to tough it out. The biggest thing that’s upsetting me is knowing it was discussed by coworkers. But that can’t be helped so onwards.

Well done op ! Go to work Monday it's honestly nothing to stress about but like I said go Monday, do it to show yourself how strong you are. If you want to find another job then so be it but it's easier to find a job while you are in one. You know you can do this on Monday I'm sure you have dealt with worse in your life.

Go easy on the gum op. Too much can cause horrific shits.

I honestly wouldn't worry too much about your coworkers. They may have discussed it but it's something that can happen to anyone and I'm sure most people know someone who really struggles with it. I know someone with cystic fibrosis who usually has terrible breath. It is what it is.

You are doing what you can.

It's hard to hear but it would have been worse if no one had mentioned it to you. Think how horrible that would be.
Do what you can, don't lean in to talk to people and get on with your work. I'd probably make sure everyone knows about the infection too!
I really hope your infection gets sorted.

Hello OP. So sorry to hear you are going through this and fully understand the embarrassment.

Echoing what @Lulu1919 said and encourage you to send a brief and honest email to explain that you've a bad tooth, are awaiting treatment, aware of the situation and doing everything in your power to manage he the symptoms. Also thank them for,their understanding and support as you are mortified.

This is very good https://www.boots.com/ultradex-fresh-breath-oral-spray-9ml-10143635?cmmmc=bmm-buk-google-ppccPLAsAs--Toiletries---UKSmarttShoppingToiletriessGoogle&gclid=Cj0KCQiAmeKQBhDvARIsAHJ7mF46oRKnfi5MyIfObzVtgnCWyEt3041ChrDWjaWhjI8l1WH2pQ24NxwaAhQbEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds and you can discretely do a couple of sprays before, and during meetings to freshen breath. I'd also take some mouthwash and a toothbrush to work so that you can clean and freshen your mouth at lunchtime too.

My DD has a copper tongue scraper and says it's brilliant and gets all sorts of gunk off her tongue. Gross 🤢 but effective !

Good luck.

@Spottyhippo yes it may have been discussed by co-workers and I'm sure you are imagining the worst in that scenario, but think of it this way: they may have been talking kindly as in @Spottyhippo obviously as a problem because I've never noticed this before. God, how do we tell her without sounding mean? I wonder how we can help? , rather than a judgemental slagging off that's probably in the scenarios you're playing endlessly in your mind.

And please also remember that other people have lots of other things going on in their busy worlds and your breath is really not at the centre of their lives, it's just a tiny part of their work day. They won't be obsessing over it, and when it's been dealt with it will be a minuscule spec in history. Really not worth resigning over. Honestly.

One final thought. If your boss wants to help, maybe the company might consider paying for private treatment so you can get it fixed more quickly?

@Spottyhippo

Yes I told my boss about the infection. Still doesn’t make it any less embarrassing. She told me it wouldn’t be fair on me or coworkers or clients if it continues. Which I know. Feels a bit of a threat at the same time though. Sort it or be out of a job. I will mention it to the dentist.

Op I would pop along to the Citizens advice centre to find out where you stand legally with this.

You seem to have turned this into an existential crisis. Your breath is bad because of a mouth problem. It's not the end of the world. Presumably it will be fixed soon and your breath will be fine.

I agree with @Tunabaguette or speak to the union if you have one. A threat like that over a health issue, which they are now aware of in relation to future threats, would surely be discrimination if taken further?

Hi OP
If your employer is worried about your breath, Might your employer pay for you to have the operation done privately?

You are being treated as though this is a hygiene issue when it's a medical issue. It's an infection you can't help it. Obviously do what you can to counteract it. Mouthwash etc And salt water will be good for it. But if it comes up again I would say you will take this further if you continue to be harassed about a medical condition. That should draw a line on it. Do not put this on yourself it's not in your control and now you have explained the medical reason that should be the end of it.

For balance my boss would have been "ok, do you need time off for an appointment, what can I do to help, do you want to WFH?"
It doesn't sound as though they have been very empathetic

Wear a mask? Drink lots of water throughout the day too.

Today was nowhere near as bad as I imagined. Thanks all for pushing me to go in.

Glad it went well .