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Original poster

Parent guilt re half term

62 replies

INeedNewShoes · 25/02/2022 17:22

I bumped into another school parent, who in the space of the school holidays has taken her DC on four big days out (think exciting things requiring entry tickets that cost quite a bit of money).

Comparison really is the thief of joy. I hadn't really considered our half term plans until I had this conversation and realised that in comparison we've done so little that's exciting and if the teacher goes round the class asking what everyone's done, ours has been very very low key.

Reasons we haven't done much are that money is very tight at the moment but also DD and I are both a bit tired at the moment and so I didn't feel motivated to plan big days out. DD is in reception and is still adjusting to being at school. She seems to find the social elements of school hard work so it was intentional that I didn't line up social stuff with her peers.

We had friends (with older kids) to stay for the first few days but days out were hindered by the wind. She went to a fun birthday party. Otherwise we've gone for walks and today I took DD to an adventure playground we've never been to before. Indoors we've done a bit of baking together, watched a couple of films, made marble runs, drawing etc. and a fair bit of DD entertaining herself while I do other stuff that needs doing.

Clearly I'm after validation here but also maybe ideas of how to make some better plans for other school holidays.

OP posts:

Original poster

INeedNewShoes · 25/02/2022 17:57

Thank you. I feel much better about it now!

I thought about posting this a couple of days ago and decided not to as it was so obvious that I just needed people to say 'it's ok'! And that's a bit pathetic, isn't it?

I just felt like we've drifted through and allowed the time to just pass by, rather than me being proactive and making more of a plan for the week.

I think for future half terms I might try to include one big trip out to somewhere we'd not usually go and otherwise just continue as we are. It's been nice pottering around with DD without the usual school routine though. I really miss our life pre school starting, when we had all the time in the world to do what we wanted!

OP posts:

OnceuponaRainbow18 · 25/02/2022 17:58

@RedskyThisNight

Haha yes my son told nursery he went on holiday on the motorway!!!

Original poster

INeedNewShoes · 25/02/2022 18:00

To those saying they've been working during half term, this will be the first two weeks of the summer holidays for DD when I have my biggest annual project that requires 40+ hour weeks for me. I haven't thought yet how to handle that.

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HamSandwichKiller · 25/02/2022 18:01

Don't stress. February half-term is the worst.
Weather is always diabolical and this one has been worse than usual. I moved jobs and lost a lot of annual leave so only took a day off so please don't feel bad. At least you were there the whole time.

EllieQ · 25/02/2022 18:08

Another one who has worked for almost all of half term. We had one day out on Monday, then DD was in holiday club for the rest of the week. This weekend we’ll probably visit a local museum one day and have a chilled-out day on the other.

I do try to plan one or two ‘big days out’ for each school holiday, but other than that our plans are fairly low-key. Most school holidays include some time in holiday club as we both work and don’t have local family who could do childcare.

Over the summer we usually have a week off together, one week with DH on leave, one week with me on leave, and holiday club the rest of the time. Sometimes I feel a bit crap about it (especially with friends who can send their kids to grandparents for half the holidays), but it is what it is.

1forAll74 · 25/02/2022 18:09

Don't even compare yourself with what others do with their children at half term, or any other times.. You will be able to tell if your small child is having a happy time with you, doing whatever you do.

DarkCorner · 25/02/2022 18:10

I wouldn’t worry at all. My dc is nearly 10 and loves time relaxing at home after a busy time at school. I feel like I’ve pushed him to do a bit too much this half term tbh but it’s just the way it worked out with grandparents doing a bit of childcare, him going to his dad and us meeting up with friends etc. It’s so lovely to just not have plans and potter around at home sometimes and it’s only a week.

LadyMonicaBaddingham · 25/02/2022 18:12

My teenage boys have spent most of the week either sleeping, eating, or complaining that "there's never any food in the house" er, that's because yet again you've eaten it all

BluebellsGreenbells · 25/02/2022 18:16

The reason teachers ask, isn’t to be nosy, but to engage the children, so they can contribute to a class discussion.

I always did a round up about our week on Sunday so they could remember we went swimming or saw friends etc

Otherwise they sit and forget!

Idontgiveagriffindamn · 25/02/2022 18:21

@INeedNewShoes

A lot of holiday clubs are brilliant. Mine used to ask to go as they had so much fun. Prior to lockdowns we used to do every day we were working but now we do 3 days a week and they have 2 slobby days. But they are year 4 so can entertain themselves without too much hassle.

Littleladyred · 25/02/2022 18:21

You gave her exactly what she needed, rest and lots of personal attention. Its all good.

StillUp · 25/02/2022 18:23

I was feeling a bit guilty about our half term too OP. We’ve had a couple of days out at nature reserves/woods followed by a restaurant. We’ve done soft play and the local park. At home DD has played, done some craft and we’ve played some board games together. We’ve had some visitors with DC and she’s spent time with her grandparents. She’s also had her usual swimming lesson. I asked her what she’d like to do today and she said play at home and have a movie night! She’s also in reception, and she does get very tired. Surely the point in half term is downtime? Easter and summer holidays we’ll have a few bigger days out.

At least you’ve baked with her, I’ve been avoiding that all week

WonderfulYou · 25/02/2022 18:30

I used to think that every holiday kids needed a day out, something special and not just a normal walk.

Since lockdown my mind has completely changed - we do things that we don’t usually have time to do like baking, going for walks in my local area etc and most of spending time at home relaxing.

SallyAnn32 · 25/02/2022 18:33

I guarantee those children won't remember this when the teacher asks them what they've done in half term. A few years ago we had an amazing half term city break but when asked by her teacher what she had done at half term, DD said 'went to aldi for a new hot water bottle' 🤦🏼‍♀️😂 this is what we did the day before going back to school so it was obviously fresh in her memory.

Iwasonline · 25/02/2022 18:34

My children haven't set foot out the house. I've had covid really badly. Then my 5 year old had a tummy bug for 4 days, then my 4 year old caught it. Today they are better but now exhausted and wiped. I'm still isolating anyway

Jane2658 · 25/02/2022 18:41

My son is 4. We went trampolining one day with his older step sister and to soft play another day. Apart from that we haven't left the house much.
We have done some baking, painting/decorating and we went to hobbycraft today to buy a cardboard house to make and colour in.
He likes it best pottering round. I haven't been very well this week or I might have tried to go swimming or out somewhere else another day.
I have felt guilty too and wondered if everyone else have been meeting up with their children's friends/parents.

Cakeandcardio · 25/02/2022 18:43

I think you've done a great job. I often think these big days out are for the parents. When I think back to my favourite memories from childhood, my best ones are from being at my Granny's on a Saturday night and colouring in etc. Not Alton Towers.

unfortunateevents · 25/02/2022 18:44

Your half-term sounds lovely! You've allowed your DD to chill out and you're right, mine have now finished uni almost and I still remember them being exhausted at this age when half-term or holidays came round. I'll bet a lot of those "big" days out also end up with tears or tantrums because little people get tired, parents are determined to get their money's worth and everywhere is crowded.

bettertocryinamercedes · 25/02/2022 18:48

We had covid so we didn't do anything apart from a couple of walks, Xbox and sleep.

Forestdweller11 · 25/02/2022 18:49

Jus to echo others - the only thing we've done this half term is a trip for new school shoes...

One year we did something big each day, zoo, aquarium, soft play, cinema When it came to back to school and asked what they'd done all week they said nothing, just went to the supermarket and bought sausage rolls....

OffForCalpol · 25/02/2022 18:50

Mines been at holiday club 3 days, and done nothing the other two so don't worry.

Redshoeblueshoe · 25/02/2022 18:50

I was intending to take my GD out but the weather was crap, so we stayed indoors, baked, and watched some films. It was great.
As for the summer try holiday clubs, our local soccer school is very cheap

Spudina · 25/02/2022 19:16

Your half term sounded lovely, and I bet your daughter loved it. Plus February is clearly the worst holiday of the year as the weathers always fucking awful. (Why do I give myself February half term and then allocate lovely May to my husband I ask for the millionth time?) So any day that doesn’t suck big time is a bonus.

GTAlogic · 25/02/2022 19:29

Compare your half term to ours and then tell me yours was dull:

We went nowhere. We have done no baking or family walks or arts and crafts together. Dc got their toucan box through the post and did the activities by themselves. They have played with a friend and dc2 had a friend sleep over but the greenhouse fell over in front of the shed so they haven't been able to get their bikes and scooters out. They've played roblox, animal crossing and minecraft every day.

You don't have to pay through the nose for fancy day trips and events for your dc to enjoy their half term. They need the break from school more than a parent stressing out trying to outdo their friends.

RunningKatie · 25/02/2022 19:38

I booked 2 days out, youngest dc broke their foot beforehad so everything was then rearranged around them.
Even making plans can go badly wrong!

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