My Child’s Friend Smells

[PineappleHouseUnderTheSea]

Just that really- every time they get in the car I have to open windows and literally gag till we’re home. DC doesn’t notice.
They stayed the night last night so all bed things are in the wash and the bedroom windows open.

Always been smelling but has gotten worse through teenager years.
Old enough to clean themselves and their clothes, but doesn’t seem to care/notice.
Am I being mean?

You've noticed but never raised concerns? Not even when they were little?

Raised concerns with who ?
And I didn’t know them when they were little.

Yes, you are being mean.

I read it as you having known them for a while too, so you've only know them as a teen is that correct?

Is it a BO type of smell that they could and should be aware of and managing themselves or do you think that they are being neglected and don't have access to a shower/washing machine/ warm water?

Smells of what op?

Poor personal hygiene?
House smell?
Animals?

Does the child have enough money to buy essentials?

I don't think you're being mean

Personal hygiene is important

Do you know their parents

I would encourage you to report neglect to their school.

Many apologies for thinking that you have known them for years, even though you haven't, I misunderstood your reference to always been smelly but worse through the teenage years.

Yes I’ve known them for years but not since they were little (they’re mid to late teen).

Strong BO smell and bad breath smell.
They always look clean and well fed so never a safeguarding concern, but it’s really not nice.

How is the OP being mean? She/he hasn't told anyone they smell.

Gosh no, never said anything and definitely don’t make anything obvious, I wouldn’t want to be unkind.
I have gently asked in a very roundabout way about preferring baths or showering, favourite shampoos, that sort of thing.

It’s a very personal smell but very strong

This needs to be reported. It's parental neglect.

My DD smelled bad when she had undiagnosed Crohn's. Bad breath, not BO.

How is the OP being mean? She/he hasn't told anyone they smell.

Bit mean to moan to random strangers but not actually tackle the issue.

@GoIntoTheLight

How is the OP being mean? She/he hasn't told anyone they smell.

Exactly. The OP has had the opportunity for years to do something whilst knowing this person smells. Instead they come onto a forum to be mean about them.

Teenage boys smell like polecats 🤮. I too remember having to drive with my car window open. They do seem to stop being so stinky at 16+, so you will not have to suffer this forever.

The OP has had the opportunity for years to do something whilst knowing this person smells.

To do what though? It's a really sensitive area and no obvious solution. My DS's girlfriend (mid-teens) is similar, partly BO, partly parents' fag smoke, partly that her clothes are washed but not aired properly so the smell lingers. My DS doesn't seem to notice or care (he's quite oblivious in many ways), it's not really my place to bring it up and it's not neglect as her parents do their best but are young and obviously not across it. No way would I report them for it, so what's the answer that lies between subtle kind hints or reporting? I remember my teen boyfriend having holes in his socks and my mum buying him some new ones which made his mum go mad at the implication that she wasn't taking proper care of him. It's a minefield so I sympathise with OP and don't think she's being mean. If you have the magic solution, please do say.