How long after a marriage breakup did you start another relationship?

[user72618811]

Just wondered how long after a marriage break up did you start another relationship?

Six months.

Totally unexpected and we are now married.

We were friends first though so I knew him quite well.

Two years. Though I did have a fling after 6 months that lasted all of 2 nights.

About 3 months

But it depends who with, how you feel, how comfortable you are, are kids involved etc etc.

There is no right timescale except what you are happy with.

Sounds like you have maybe met someone you like.

It was only casual though. 7 months for the real deal

Officially separated 30/9, officially got together with new chap 31/12.

The marriage was dead in the water for maybe 3 years, and I knew the new chap from school. We've now been together longer than I was with my exh.

I was 31. I had a few dates and casual sex a few weeks later. Then six months later I met my now husband fell head over heels. He moved 250 miles to live with me within 6 weeks and we've been together 21 years! Everyone thought we were crazy, it was too soon, rebound. But "when you know, you know"

I'm coming up to 8 months post split. I don't feel ready, but am hoping to consider in the next 3ish months. He has already remarried.

@nancybotwinbloom

But it depends who with, how you feel, how comfortable you are, are kids involved etc etc.

There is no right timescale except what you are happy with.

Sounds like you have maybe met someone you like.

It's my sister not myself. She was married for 14 years (age 20 getting married) split from her husband 5 months ago and has been in relationships with 3 men since then. She gets involved fairly quickly, the relationship doesn't last long (6 weeks is the longest). She has two DD 12 and 13 and I worry how it will affect them seeing their mum with different men.

Yeah it’s not ideal to show this behaviour to your kids but surely she’s not introducing these ‘relationship’ men to them any way.

If she introducing them to the kids it's a bit quick in my opinion and also depends what capacity she's introducing them in.

My opinion counts for nothing as this is all anonymous and everyone is different.

My dd met my partner as my bf after about 12 months. She knew him already just not as my bf.

First time she met him she said "get off my mums couch"

Now he's her step dad and she adores him.

It played a big part that we were friends first and I knew him and knew his history etc.

Also he was my first relationship after I'd split with her dad.

Hopefully my last

3 and a half years post marriage break up and I'm still happily single. I've needed this time to recover from the trauma and get to know myself again after a 13 year abusive marriage. My kids have been through enough without me bringing a stranger into their lifes. I'll probably look at meeting someone in a few years, once the kids are older and I have more time and inclination!

About two and a half years, more because the divorce was messy in court and also went to court of children so didn't feel right trying to
Meet somebody else.

@Tlollj

Yeah it’s not ideal to show this behaviour to your kids but surely she’s not introducing these ‘relationship’ men to them any way.

@Tlollj She is introducing them. I know they have met two of them. They don't see their dad so are with my sister all the time. She lives away so has no one near. If I lived closer I would have the girls at the weekend so they don't have to meet them. The last guy she was with had 2 children of his own, the children were all introduced to each other within a week of meeting him. He stayed over. The relationship only lasted a month.

10 years. My choice not to look for a relationship, and then one happened out of the blue

If she's not got a support network around her I can understand her jumping in.

It does sound a bit like she needs a man to validate her or she prefers to be in a relationship.

It took me until I was about 35 to realise I was fine on my own.

Maybe she will realise it's fine to be on your own and maybe she will always need to be in a relationship to validate her own needs.

I agree though it's not ideal for her children.

About 8 weeks. Although TBF my relationship had been dead in the water for about 3 years since our youngest was born and it was with an old friend so totally unexpected. I still worry about whether it's the right thing though and whether I should have learnt to be on my own for a while.

Ons - around 10 months after

1st relationship around 3 years after

Dd is 21 now and has never met anyone I've dated in that time because none went past 6 month mark.

3 men in 5 months around the kids ? What the hell is she playing at?

It messes with their heads - at best! Makes them vulnerable to abuse at worst! (Certain types target single mums for precisely this reason!)

She needs to get a grip!

And yes I would say exactly the same about a single father!

It's about the dc not the parent

Jesus @StiffyBing! Was the new wife already around before the split?

@PermanentTemporary For nearly three years, it turned out. All those ‘country walks’ during lockdown. He behaved appallingly, a gaslighting twat. She’s 30 years younger than him too…

I split up with my husband nearly 7 years ago. I have had a casual thing for last few years but no new partners i have introduced to my children. I don't think getting into a relationship soon after is a bad thing if you meet the right person just would wait a while before introducing to kids.

I separated from my ex husband nearly 8 years ago and haven't had a relationship since, we have a DS. Divorce is difficult enough for kids, I don't believe in forcing new partners onto them as well. So if I ever do date it's always casual, no commitment and certainly no meeting my child.

About six months until initial fling, about 16 months until a ‘serious’ relationship. My marriage had been shit for years though, and I didn’t introduce the dc to anyone until we’d been together for 10+ months.

@Graphista

Ons - around 10 months after

1st relationship around 3 years after

Dd is 21 now and has never met anyone I've dated in that time because none went past 6 month mark.

3 men in 5 months around the kids ? What the hell is she playing at?

It messes with their heads - at best! Makes them vulnerable to abuse at worst! (Certain types target single mums for precisely this reason!)

She needs to get a grip!

And yes I would say exactly the same about a single father!

It's about the dc not the parent

@Graphista

I completely agree it makes me so mad that she can't see the damage it could do to her DD's seeing their mum with a different man every few weeks.