Does anyone feel unable to relax?

[mewe3]

I want to enjoy my home and for it to be my 'sanctuary' but I feel like it's a constant job, it's exhausting. How do people relax without thinking of the never ending list of things to do in the house. I do have OCD traits learnt from my mum so it may be to do with that, I think it's a case of lowering my expectations. Is it just me?

Not just you OP. I struggle with this too and I also have OCD. I am in therapy at the minute trying to work round it so don't have a perfect solution j am afraid.

My to do list was and still is to some extent never ending and makes me miserable.

Now I am trying to schedule time in my day for jobs or chores and stick to that time amount, regardless of how much I get done or get ticked off the list.

Also buying a robot hoover really took the edge off for me as I could never relax at the weekend until I had hoovered at least... so now I put that on in the morning and it helps me relax a bit.

Yes. I can always find something to do. It’s exhausting!

I use a loose version of the organisef mum method, deep cleaning one room a week. I do a little bit of tidying a day. I have a certain time each evening where I sit down and do no more chores. Whatever is left undone can be done the following day.

I can relax on a competitive scale. I'm the polar opposite of PPs.

I can read a book in the full knowledge that no housework needs doing.

Then I look around and there's loads that needs doing. And it needs doing thoroughly.

What we need is a happy medium. No-one should be a slave to household drudgery and no-one should be lying around in squalor.

There has to be a happy medium. A meld of personalities.

So, I've identified the problem. I wish I knew the answer.

Nice to know I'm not alone. My house has be to be tidy or else I feel overwhelmed and won't get anything done, I can't get myself to just turn off and relax. To think I used to moan at my mum for the meticulous cleaning and now I'm the same

@user1471554720

I use a loose version of the organisef mum method, deep cleaning one room a week. I do a little bit of tidying a day. I have a certain time each evening where I sit down and do no more chores. Whatever is left undone can be done the following day.

I like the idea of setting myself a cut off time for all chores, I'll give that a go

Another ocd person here

I used to be like this home was always show home ready...until my 1st breakdown

Full on hallucinations the lot! Terrifying

Do not let it get to that stage op get help asap

I'm now almost 15 years on never really fully recovered

Now I swing between everything's perfect and major avoidant episodes (where I feel too overwhelmed and do nothing!)

Wouldn't wish it on worst enemy. I don't even relax in my sleep

Tackle it before it tackles you

to all so afflicted

Not on your own. I'm awake thinking of all the housework that needs done.
I've tried loads of things but the things that seem to help me are:

1. doing housework daily but only for a specific amount of time. I have a non negotiable hour of housework a day unless I'm ill or away from the house. If its not done in that time it has to wait for the next day. I also have one day a week where I allow myself longer to do a deep clean of an area. It seems to strike a balance between the house sinking into squalor and me sinking into madness.

2. I write a list of what needs done on a white board. It gets it out of my head so remembering doesn't become an other chore. It's also let's me see how much I've achieved.

3. the DC have an age appropriate list of chores each day. It's the same thing each day- so bed making, dirty clothes in the washing basket, clean clothes away, load the dishwasher, that kind of thing. It seems to make them more aware of the work needed to keep the house clean and tidy and less likely to wreck it.

I'm not sure any of this works 100%, in fact I know it doesn't because I'm on here writing about it at 5.50am but it does help a bit.

@Graphista

I have not been formally diagnosed with OCD - I'm not really sure how to go about doing that? However, I've been told by the doctor that it is OCD when I finally broke and went to the GP regarding health anxiety. It's a horrible, horrible disorder so I really feel for you. I thought my obsessions were only affecting my health anxiety and having horrible thoughts but I have come to realise my cleaning habits and the anxiety it causes are not normal.

Growing up my mum would experience similar to what you mentioned, she'd think things were crawling under skin etc and her compulsions would involve me, for example checking my hair for nits twice a day and she made me terrified to go the toilet as a child because I had played with a child who had worms and she was in hysterics about it. We left a holiday early as my mum was convinced she'd found fleas and when we got home we had to shower and throw our clothes away. Obviously all of this has had a huge affect on me and I'm not sure if the behaviour is learnt or the OCD Has been inherited.

I really try to keep mine under wraps as I never want my kids to experience what I did growing up and have this affect them when they grow up as it's truly the most exhausting thing to have to go through.

I hope you're one day, going to find the peace you deserve and are able to over come this horrible illness