Does anyone else feel inadequate at work? Or have I mposter syndrome? Plus colleague called me “daft as a brush” today :(

[JuliTooley]

Hello,

I am genuinely not sure if I am not cut out for my job or if I have imposter syndrome…

Background: I am the only woman in my team. I am also the only non-Oxbridge member. I’ve always felt inadequate in comparison to my colleagues and I feel incredibly dim next to them. I know I am not stupid (I won a scholarship to a private school, got all A/A* and a good Russel Group degree) but next to them I really feel like I am. I am left out of conversations, whilst they debate in detail things like Hayek and early medieval Anglo-Saxon kingdoms (like wtf?!).

Today my colleague described me as “daft as a brush” in a non-jokey way and other colleagues laughed, which really made me feel awful. All the inadequate feelings I’ve had about myself were suddenly confirmed - everyone I work with really does think I am dumb :(

I love my job. But I’m not sure if I am just not cut out for it or if I have imposter syndrome. I think the former…

Anyone else have similar feelings of inadequacy at work? Or imposter syndrome? If so, how do you overcome said feelings?

Thank you.

Well I think they sound incredibly rude and snobby and that is the problem! I think that’s where any feelings of inadequacy come from, working with pompous people🤷‍♀️ maybe I’m projecting slightly but they sound awful. Ds1 is at Oxford, I really hope he doesn’t turn in to a pompous twat😵‍💫🤣

I do have a bit of imposter syndrome, 2 weeks in to a management job after 20 years in a more clinical role. To be expected I think. I have full support and respect from my colleagues though which makes all the difference.

They sound awful. Was the “daft” comment because you didn’t know the year Paulus Orosius was born or did it pertain to your job?

Either way - it wasn’t an appropriate comment for work and I think it’s less “imposter syndrome” than bullying behaviour.

My employers almost exclusively recruit from Oxford or Cambridge and it's the friendliest place I've worked in. If someone called a colleague dumb they'd probably get hauled over the coals. Yikes. No one would laugh! It's a them problem not a you problem OP. You're clearly intelligent.

You work in something very physicsy or maths/data based? It’s them not you.