Agoraphobia and OCD spiralling

[ocdspiralising]

It was the exact same with covid, spent two and a half weeks on valium and lost a stone and a half in weight as scared to eat in case food was ‘contaminated’ .

Am recognising thoughts going a very similar way now - catastrophising to epic proportions, and realising how irrational I’m being but I’m scared to leave the house . I keep thinking if I do and something awful happens, I won’t be with my family and won’t be able to get back to them . Won’t be able to keep them safe .

I’m due to see a psychologist in ten days anyway due to suicidal thoughts but I keep wondering if it’s worth it, if all this will end anyway .

I’m not sure how to re-rationalise it all, I’ve been taught distress tolerance techniques and safer self soothing mechanisms and distraction but each time I’m trying tonight my head’s swimming .

Is it a case of switching on rubbish TV, pyjamas and blocking it out?

So sorry to hear... I'm sure there will be wiser mumsnetters along soon but can you ask if you can see the psychologist any earlier? They might have a cancellation?
Is there an OCD helpline you can call I wonder?

Thank you, I remember doing that the last time funnily enough and I think they were good . I feel a right twat, I used to work with a lovely girl from Ukraine and I’m sure she’s got genuine reason to be very scared indeed and here’s me too frightened to catch the bus in case the imaginary nuclear bomb in my mind hits me .

I’m normally very anxious anyway, my brain will latch onto anything it can - news this morning like a red rag to a bull . I went through a period of scaring myself shitless worrying about nuclear attack about ten years ago, can’t even remember how I stopped it then though .

Bloody RAF jet just went over us and all but leapt under the table . I need to try and calm down .

Have you tried tapping/ eft?

I found that to be useful t try I help distract and lower any anxiety. Sometimes I tapped 2/3 rounds.

I haven’t but will give it a go . I feel so utterly stupid and useless, my entire family are military/RAF and navy but I keep hearing his words on the TV this morning and going cold all over .

I’m meant to be travelling on Sunday but I’m scared to leave the house, in case they do it whilst I’m away .

Normal rituals/neutralising behaviours are asking for reassurance, touching everything around me, counting, checking everything two/three times (plugs and lights) and repeating phrases in my head, but that’s not working today . Don’t even know where I could get reassurance from anyway .

I’ve been through this before with hundreds of worries - been down contamination, religious, sexual, violence routes with OCD a hundred times before (diagnosed at 19, am now 31) - if I could get past them I can get past this .

Try this
Here’s the link
www.healthline.com/health/eft-tapping#treatment

I liked to start above the eyebrow. Tapping 5 times. Whilst repeating I’m ok and I do not want this fear.

It worked for me to reduce anxiety a little when I was on high alert.

Then try other things too.

And you’re right you e got through this sort of thing before and you will again.
You are strong.

Sorry you're feeling so shit, I have the same diagnoses it's good you're recognising your symptoms and magical thinking ramping up. When I was at my worst I used to listen to my mum make a cup of tea and if she tapped her spoon differently to usual I was convinced she would die that day. Or if we made it through some traffic lights before they turned red it would be a 'safe' day. The reassurance is exhausting. I'll ask my husband to tell me I'll be ok, but if he doesn't say it 'right' I have to ask him to repeat it until he does. He won't do it anymore, which is good.

My therapist got me to write down 'I will win the lottery on friday', then underneath 'my family will die today'. I could not write that but he said it's the same and the probability of either happening is miniscule.

Just as an aside, he advised me to stop tapping, as it was becoming compulsive and made me feel I was truly in danger of that makes sense but I know it works for lots of people.
I'm trying to limit everything I can read or hear about the current situation. I hope you feel better soon