I.. a people pleaser... just used no as a complete sentence!

[flingoo]

Thank you Mumsnet for this! I actually did not realise I could just say no without an explanation before. It is liberating.

I’d love to know what context you used this in because IRL it seems very rude to me to just say no and then nothing else!

I actually did this the other day for the first time and had to restrain myself from doing the happy dance!

Well done to you 👏

@Creeeper acquaintance wanted a lift to somewhere where I was going but would have doubled my journey time.

@Creeeper my example:

I’ve recently started work as bank staff in a care home. I’m doing it for various career & personal reasons, but not really the money, so I don’t mind if I work some shifts and not others.

I heard other staff discussing a Friday shift coming up that was short staffed and they were mentioning names of others who might work it, then saw me. One person called me over and asked if I could work that shift? I asked to confirm the date to give me time to think. I already knew I had a social coffee date with a friend so didn't want to do it, but needed time.

Checked my diary in my phone and said “No”.
And stopped there. It felt really unnatural but the person asking just accepted it and we all moved on. Weird. But also quite cool.

Yay! This is a cause for celebrating!
Undo the shackles of needing to please.
I did something very boundaried recently where I would in the past have just seared the “ best” choice to the other person.
It feels good.

[quote flingoo]@Creeeper acquaintance wanted a lift to somewhere where I was going but would have doubled my journey time. [/quote]
And you just said a blunt “no”?!

Not even “sorry no, that’s really out of my way and I’m not going in that direction”?

I can't do that, no. I'm not going that way.

I like the 'no that doesn't work for me' I've learnt here, sounds a bit softer. Can't say I've actually used it yet though...... I'm a work in progress😏😂

Couldn't you? - no
What it? -No
But - NO!

@flingoo

I can't do that, no. I'm not going that way.

This is different to “no is a complete sentence” though!

@Pyri my final was a no and it's a big step for me.

In real life, no is hardly ever a complete sentence. You didn’t even just say “no”. You said another sentence.

Well done for standing up for yourself but your thread title and op are a bit misleading. You did explain-you said you weren’t going that way.

[quote flingoo]@Pyri my final was a no and it's a big step for me.
[/quote]
Well done. If you know the person is likely to be a wheedler it probably saves everyone time if you get to the hard 'no' sooner than later.
And don't forget, if people on this thread start criticising you and wanting to debate what you said.... you know what you can say, don't you?

Ooooh I know the answer to that @ErrolTheDragon, is it “did you mean to be so rude?”

The answer to that one really is a one word response

Well done op. 'No' is very freeing.

I did it once with someone who wanted to swap a shift. It felt great 😃