I'm having a bad night

[YukoandHiro]

I just need somewhere to vent so thanks in advance for even reading this.

I'm so beaten down. My kids are always sick. My eldest has caught some non covid bug and has been I'll for a week now. She's seen a doctor and they just say it's a virus, which I'm sure it is, but the lack of sleep combined with juggling work and a husband who has been in bed for days with the same bug (so I'm solo parenting 2) is just relentless. Sometimes I just feel like I can't cope.

I just never get a rest. My children are both young and life feels so exhausting. I feel crushed by the last two years. I never have any space for myself except work but that's a source of stress as I'm constantly being disrupted by ill children and hospital appts and things.

I just want sleep.

When does it get easier? Does it ever? My eldest is only 4. She's missed so much school since e September with illness

Yes, it gets easier! Just be thankful that they will get better. And soon you will have more time for yourself. Did you have any hobbies, before you had kids?

I couldn't read and run!

Firstly it does get better! I remember saying to my H at that stage - we had a teen as well as 2&4yo - it was the hardest thing we'd ever done. Like wading through treacle in thick fog.

However - he helped a lot. I don't get back to sleep, once I'm woken in the night, for hours...hence being online now! He goes back off immediately. So despite him working more than me at that stage, he got up in the night for example.

Our middle one was very ill until she was around 9 with asthma. In and out of hospital etc. grim times but we shared it all.

Can your H do more?

Also, this isn't a recent feeling if you've had it for 2 years. Could you be depressed? I suffered badly with PND and did nothing about it for ages. To my regret.

Hope getting it off your chest helped

I used to love reading but I'm so tired I can't ever concentrate on a book now. That makes me sad - a novel was always my escape/happy place. I used to love reading in bed but we live in a flat and I still have my youngest in a cot next to our bed so I can't come to bed and read for some adult quiet space.
I love my littlest very much and am glad we completed our family but with two children the illness is off the scale . I've been back s work 4 days since October and I realise the other day I've only had 2 weeks during which they both went to school/nursery as they were supposed to without disruption. Luckily I'm self employed - but I had to go self employees partly for this reason as my old boss was so difficult to manage with days off for illness

I guess I just feel like everything is always problems just now rsther than fun

Ah that sounds tough. The only advice I have is tomorrow is always a new day. Just do the best you can each day. And try and carve out things to look forward to.

Hi @CheesePlantMurderer thanks for your reply. I'm the same about sleep - I've been up for 1.5 hours with the 4yo with a fever but now I'm wide awake and 1yo willl probably be up for the day at 5.30. And I have two big work deadlines today. So exhausting.

My eldest has asthma too and we've had an autumn just like that. It's been hard. This time it's a stomach virus, and so far I've dodged it but DH being out for the count hasn't helped.

DH is usually good but works evenings and nights so I do all the evenings and bed irks myself which is hard work. Often I do mornings too - if he hasn't finished work til 3am I don't wake him for the school/nursery run. So the only time I ever get ti myself is my working hours. I love my work but that's still exhausting.

By 2 years I meant the stress of the pandemic really. I haven't got PND - I had PND/A with my first and actually during mat leave this time I was so happy - it's just the exhaustion and relentlessness of the juggle

I know I need a day when they are both well and in school and nursery to just go back to bed undisturbed, but it's hard to find the time to do that

It sounds like things are really touch for you at the moment. It does get easier as kids get older but on bad days (or nights) that can feel like too far away. Have you tried audiobooks? Some of the joy of reading without disturbing others. You can put a sleep timer on it so if you do drift off you don’t miss too much.

Some children do seem to pick up more bugs than others. One of my colleagues at work was like this and then her two children were just the same.

I think WFH while convenient in your circumstances as your never away from the same place must be really difficult.

One of my sisters has asthma, back in those days she was not encouraged to be very physical, only one of us that couldn’t swim. My next door neighbours DD had very bad asthma but loved and was encouraged with sport. She will always have asthma but as a young woman the improvement in her asthma was amazing. You need proper medical advice obviously but things can improve.

Just sending some love, it’s hard when they are little, DH worked overseas a lot when DS was small and I remember just the relentlessness of it all. It gets better x

Been there - I only have one but I still remember that feeling of never getting a break. I actually cried at one point reading a magazine article which mentioned long, lazy lie-ins but I promise it does get better. I would say 4 is the age when it starts to get easier a lot faster, so hang in there

Thank you to everyone who has replied. Just knowing I'm not alone feeling this really helps - and that it might end (or at least change) at some point.

Obviously the pandemic and lockdown was awful in many ways but I do remember saying to my DH in about June 2020 "oh my god, DD hasn't been ill for months, it's so nice to see her so well."

Anyway, best foot forward. I've managed to get my youngest DD into an extra half day at nursery on Friday this week to help catch up lost work time.