Slightly morbid but what information do I need to have available in case of my death?

[Hermanfromguesswho]

I am a single parent and I have been thinking recently about having any relevant information all together and with a trusted friend in case anything were to happen to me.
Things like life insurance policy details, car/home insurance, savings, mortgage etc. I was thinking my passwords may be useful too such as email, phone, online banking etc.
Has anyone done this? Is there a list of things to include? Would you put in details of bills and services I use/have on direct debit?

I want to make it as easy as possible for those left behind - especially my children.

First of all, do you have a Will? Does your Executor have a copy or know where to easily find it?

I have a letter attached to mine with my wishes for my burial. There was an AMA from a funeral director recently which was beautifully enlightening.

Is your Emergency Contact details up to date at your DC's school / your place of work?

I also have in the folder with my Will a copy of my Life Assurance Policy. I've not written down any passwords but have a note of my bank account details, premium bond numbers, online ISA account numbers, NI number, old pension pots etc. The issue is updating it if you change suppliers.

Who would look after your DC if, for example, you needed to be in hospital for a month following an accident. Do they know about any allergies/ medicine, favourite food, favourite bedtime story/bunny etc?

Does your friend have a copy of your house key, or know where one is hidden, so they can collect clothes etc for you / your DC? Write down where the water stopcock is and any alarm code.

If you keep cash or valuables in the house, allude to where. Try and prevent someone throwing away a manky vase that is actually a valuable antique.

Last thing is a list of people, maybe your Christmas card list, that you would want to be contacted to be told you were hospitalised / had died. Would you prefer a note to be sent or a Facebook announcement?

If you have time, poleroid photo your favourite jewellery / sentimental items and write on the back why they are special for you. It's this kind of personal information that's lost when you die. Maybe also favourite recipes or a note of your favourite films and books.

Once all that is done, sit back and enjoy a long and healthy life!

That is an excellent List Jam
I hadn't thought of half of those things.

Place-marking with interest!

The password one worries me a bit. They change all the time. And how do you make them available without being accessible to the wrong person?

@JamMakingWannaBe

I want to make it as easy as possible for those left behind - especially my children.

First of all, do you have a Will? Does your Executor have a copy or know where to easily find it?

I have a letter attached to mine with my wishes for my burial. There was an AMA from a funeral director recently which was beautifully enlightening.

Is your Emergency Contact details up to date at your DC's school / your place of work?

I also have in the folder with my Will a copy of my Life Assurance Policy. I've not written down any passwords but have a note of my bank account details, premium bond numbers, online ISA account numbers, NI number, old pension pots etc. The issue is updating it if you change suppliers.

Who would look after your DC if, for example, you needed to be in hospital for a month following an accident. Do they know about any allergies/ medicine, favourite food, favourite bedtime story/bunny etc?

Does your friend have a copy of your house key, or know where one is hidden, so they can collect clothes etc for you / your DC? Write down where the water stopcock is and any alarm code.

If you keep cash or valuables in the house, allude to where. Try and prevent someone throwing away a manky vase that is actually a valuable antique.

Last thing is a list of people, maybe your Christmas card list, that you would want to be contacted to be told you were hospitalised / had died. Would you prefer a note to be sent or a Facebook announcement?

If you have time, poleroid photo your favourite jewellery / sentimental items and write on the back why they are special for you. It's this kind of personal information that's lost when you die. Maybe also favourite recipes or a note of your favourite films and books.

Once all that is done, sit back and enjoy a long and healthy life!

This is great. Thank you.

@Bananawings

Place-marking with interest!

The password one worries me a bit. They change all the time. And how do you make them available without being accessible to the wrong person?

Put passwords (and usernames) into a password manager. Just keep details of the location of the password manager and access details with the rest of the documents/will etc.

It can be useful to have the information listed here all in one place, mentioning it'll be needed for the government's "tell us once" service.

Obviously don't include your date of death. That would be a little weird.

Along with the above info, I'd also have a power of attorney set up. Very useful in a case where you may not die, but are unable to manage things due to stroke, severe mental illness, dementia etc.

Thank you Iamnotamermaid

You can also nominate somebody as your 'legacy' person on facebook. They can then inform everybody of your demise and keep the profile running for a limited time. I believe twelve months is standard. Look under settings if this is helpful to you.

from an episode of Desert Island Discs (Sabrina Cohen Hatton)- set up an email for your kids and write to them throughout the years (anything about you, your thoughts, your past, your dreams)

There is also Mumsnetter who writes a letter to each child on their birthday.

All to be accessed in the event of death.

The common theme I've gathered from the bereaved are forgetting the sound of their parents' "voice" . Maybe a recording of some sort.

very practical thread

After dh died the single thing that made life easier was knowing his email password (that and his will). Mine is written in my address book and in my Letter of Wishes that is with a copy of my will in my important documents folder. My will is with a solicitor too.

Age UK have a handy booklet, also download able to list everything...

<a class="break-all" href="https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=www.ageuk.org.uk/contentassets/7ec07f9384be4cdeb6d9360b38714df5/age_uk_lifebook_brochure.pdf&ved=2ahUKEwigzv7soZX2AhVDQEEAHdVACzQQ6sMDegQIBBAC&usg=AOvVaw2vbVUNetL5ItLUmmW0yuDt" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=www.ageuk.org.uk/contentassets/7ec07f9384be4cdeb6d9360b38714df5/age_uk_lifebook_brochure.pdf&ved=2ahUKEwigzv7soZX2AhVDQEEAHdVACzQQ6sMDegQIBBAC&usg=AOvVaw2vbVUNetL5ItLUmmW0yuDt

I have a separate 'on my death' email folder with everything in it split into sections - utilities, bank accounts, investments, where my will is, people to tell, my funeral etc etc, and one very personal email to my children and grandchildren telling them how very proud I am of them all. My daughter has my email password and knows about the folder - I update details in it on a regular basis. We'll done for wanting to plan ahead.

Don’t consider thinking about your will to be a morbid thought. It is such an important one. My dad died 2 years ago. He had been living with cancer for 8 years and declared terminally ill for nearly 2 years, but refused to accept it, and as a result did not have his paperwork in place. He had a complicated personal life, and as a result of his relationship with a certain person our lives (my siblings, and my dad’s other close relatives) have been made very difficult indeed. He had told us all verbally exactly what he wanted, but refused to put it into writing. Had he done that, he would have not left us in the state he did.

Considering these things is not morbid - it is caring for your nearest and dearest.

What password would be needed after I die?

My electronic devices have pin codes, and my Apple devices needs a password. But apart from that not sure any other password are needed?

I bought one of those folders with plastic wallets and put all my bills there, water electric council tax. Also car and home insurance. Pet insurance. Pensions and passwords. Our will.
If I got knocked over by a bus tomorrow dh would be clueless about bills. I feel better in myself for being organised.
I’ve also written my children a letter each telling them how much I love them.

This MN thread on Life-Limiting Illness has lots of info. I've already posted on it, so won't repeat my self:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/life_limiting_illness/4453498-What-would-you-want-to-know-to-do-after-your-partner-had-died

My DM told us well in advance that all the info was in an old briefcase in a spare room. And it was*. She also had an old-style power of attorney set up in advance, which was just as well, since she later developed dementia.

She left a letter for us all, written pre dementia, which was lovely, since by the time she died, having had dementia for many years and no longer knowing any of us, we felt we’d lost her long before.

*A sibling who had P of A took all the documents away for safety once the dementia was obvious - she’d have been all too liable to throw it all away otherwise.

One thing I keep meaning to add to the info for (long grown up) dds, is a list of anything that should not be left for a house clearance firm to get rid of, I.e. anything of value.

Thanks for this thread OP. The intestacy rules are clear but it would have been so much better if my DM had left a Will and letter of wishes.

Make sure your life insurance is in trust and a copy of the trust docs are in with the life insurance docs and will, etc.

I managed to get a WORD version from Age UK, but I had to ask for it. It's 42 pages long.

I tried to upload it here but it seemingly won't do it, maybe it's because its a WORD document.

I've since tried as a PDF too and it won't do that either. I guess it must be the size.

www.ageuk.org.uk/globalassets/age-uk/media/legacy/id204608-0321-age-uk-lifebook.pdf

PDF copy of the LifeBook Brochure

@All4Love,

Thanks for the link, that's a later, and improved version of what I have.

I'll see if I can get a copy in WORD version as I like to keep mine updated electronically.

Disclaimer: the app has never worked for me

How will your children remember you