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Original poster

Did anyone breastfeed until 3 and had to make a concerted effort to stop?

43 replies

MrsMingech · 22/02/2022 18:49

If so, please come this way and share your wisdom.
DC has been 3 for a couple of months now and still wants boobs left right and centre.

He hated breastfeeding as a baby so I thought he would be finished by the age of 1 when I had been back at work a couple of months but the opposite happened.

I have to not sit down during the day and use a million distraction techniques.
I've got reward charts and rewards for going to sleep without a boob. I also put plasters on my nipples because "they are sore".

I'm not interested in going cold turkey because it's not that desperate.

I just would like to stop in the kindest way and wondered what others did.

OP posts:
Original poster
MrsMingech · 22/02/2022 18:50

I work full time I thought hat would stop it going this far, alas.

OP posts:
LividLaVidaLoca · 22/02/2022 18:51

Following Blush

Concestor · 22/02/2022 18:52

I fed mine to ages 8 and 6 till they self weaned so I can't advise, but I did find age 3 quite bad for the constant asking, and it settled down after that. I wonder if it's just to do with them getting more independent at that age and needing the check-ins with you for reassurance?

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SirSamVimesCityWatch · 22/02/2022 18:52

Yes, a very similar story here - except DD was always a boob monster, including as a baby.

In the end I had to tell her the milk had run out because she drank it all. There was some sadness but nothing terrible. Reducing and hoping she'd give up on her own really wasn't working for us!

Shudacudawuda · 22/02/2022 18:54

Yes me!
I'm afraid I did go cold turkey, it seemed the only way. I told DD that the milk had run out, that it was all gone. She accepted it pretty easily actually as far as I remember.
She was 3 and I'd absolutely had enough, I'd fed her brother until he was 2 aswell.....5 years of breastfeeding was enough for me!!

Kikifava · 22/02/2022 18:55

Also following 😳 exact same age here and have mostly got it down to a bedtime / early morning thing and am loath to completely stop as often it’s the only thing that will get her to sleep. But still, would quite like my body back!

Winnie87 · 22/02/2022 18:56

My daughter never wanted to give up breastfeeding(she loved it!). I managed to reduce them to nighttime only by constant distraction when she was 2. Then gradually I kept trying to not give the boob at night if she got upset I did feed her but she eventually did stop but would hold it for comfort 😂 for a good few months after.
It's hard to stop as it's so much more than just feeding.

MistyFrequencies · 22/02/2022 18:56

I had to make concerted effort to stop during the day. But really I did what you're doing - never sit in the breastfeeding chair, if he asked for it distract, distract, distract. With that we after weeks and weeks he dropped daytime feeds. I kept the one before bed out of pure laziness, so easy to put him to sleep that way. Then when he was 3 yrs 6 months one night he just said "I go bed now", toddled off to his room and hasn't looked for the breast since. I was actually sad as I felt unprepared for the sudden end, even though I was SO ready to stop.

Original poster
MrsMingech · 03/03/2022 19:58

So after having 'cut down' for about 3 weeks, absolutely nothing was changing.

So 24 hours ago I went cold turkey. Now he's exhausted because he's up all night crying for a 'booby' (I know, I know it's cringe). And we started the day at 3.30 Sad

When I got home from work he was exhausted and went straight upstairs to bed where he sobbed himself to sleep saying "pleeease! Pleeeeease!"

I feel like I've broken his soul.

Please tell me this awful stage doesn't last two long? My poor boy. I feel so evil.

DS is used to being rocked to sleep so I failed in taking away the boob and the rocking to sleep so I'm doing the latter for now.
DH taking over isn't an option because DS just gets himself even more distressed and he doesn't relax in DH's arms like he does in mine, I can at least get him to sleep quite quickly.
He runs rings round DH and ends up getting over tired making the situation 100 times worse.

Helllp

OP posts:
MargaretThursday · 03/03/2022 20:48

I gave a choice. Story or milk. At first they always chose milk, then started being either, and then was always story.

Also from about 2yo they didn't get milk when out unless really upset.

PenguindreamsofDraco · 03/03/2022 20:53

Stopped with DS the summer before he started school. We did a whole day of fun with whatever he wanted from the toy shop to celebrate him being so grown up (& happily he chose a small lego set Grin). There was some inconsolable crying the next morning and that was it. It hit me far harder!

JaninaDuszejko · 03/03/2022 20:55

With DD1 and DD2 I got pregnant and the milk dried up. Then DS had a CMPA so I fed him until he grew out of the allergy at 4. Not much help I know.

Benjaminbunnyslettuce · 03/03/2022 20:57

I offered DD boob or a story on her yoto. Gradually she opted to listen to her yoto more and more until it became easier to persuade her she didn’t want milk after all. Good luck to you though!

Mariposa123 · 03/03/2022 21:00

@Shudacudawuda

Yes me! I'm afraid I did go cold turkey, it seemed the only way. I told DD that the milk had run out, that it was all gone. She accepted it pretty easily actually as far as I remember. She was 3 and I'd absolutely had enough, I'd fed her brother until he was 2 aswell.....5 years of breastfeeding was enough for me!!
I did this too, at 2 1/2 and about 6 weeks after my second was born. I’d been letting her have little drinks because I was worried she’d feel pushed out but i realised I’d been making it worse by dragging it out. She had one day (where she was particularly) tired where she got upset about it but then the next day accepted ‘milk gone’ and didn’t ask again. I was surprised but so relieved! Which I’d tried that earlier
OakRowan · 03/03/2022 21:01

You could just feed him at bedtime and no other times? DS stopped at 4 as my milk went with yhe next pregnancy, tried to keep going but it got sore, we both were sad and had to get used to it. We were down to maybe 2 mins at bedtime, to settle him, then he would go to sleep on his own, not feeding until he slept. I would've kept that going if my milk hadn't gone. Was easier than the now longer cuddle to sleep routine we have going now.

MelCat · 03/03/2022 21:01

I stopped at 3 with my DD. I just said she was a big girl now (she was off to pre-school) and we were going to stop. I was back at work full time and starting to travel more. Although she wasn’t feeding much, it meant I was having to pump when I was away.

Nightlystroll · 03/03/2022 21:02

I hope this doesn't sound ignorant or lacking in sensitivity but I saw a supernanny episode about this very thing. I think the child was 4. I think they stopped it over a weekend. The child didn't seem in any way traumatised, more like she was just breast feeding as a habit, comfort and getting attention. Not saying that applies to your child.

I know lots of people hate supernanny so I hope you don't mind me mentioning it.

Original poster
MrsMingech · 03/03/2022 21:03

@OakRowan

You could just feed him at bedtime and no other times? DS stopped at 4 as my milk went with yhe next pregnancy, tried to keep going but it got sore, we both were sad and had to get used to it. We were down to maybe 2 mins at bedtime, to settle him, then he would go to sleep on his own, not feeding until he slept. I would've kept that going if my milk hadn't gone. Was easier than the now longer cuddle to sleep routine we have going now.
That's what I had tried for the last few weeks. I really thought it would work but it hasn't at all.
OP posts:
TracyMosby · 03/03/2022 21:04

My oldest stopped at 22 months when my youngest was born. Said the milk was disgusting.

My youngest was over two and a half and i got it down to just nightly eventually. Honestly, i even considered having another baby to get the youngest off Grin

elliejjtiny · 03/03/2022 21:08

I did it with ds aged 2y 3m. It was mainly because I felt pressure from family to stop and I wish I hadn't as he went from good sleeper to an absolute nightmare at bedtime from that moment.

DontBuyANewMumCashmere · 03/03/2022 21:15

My DS got to about 26m and I just had enough really. I wasn't urgent, like you, but just wanted him to be ready to stop! My DD had self weaned before 2 so I wish he had been ready.

One night I did our normal bed time routine (at the time it was story then lullaby CD, rocking chair and BF) but this time I brought up a cup of warm cow's milk, let him drink that while we read a story, and at sleep time I said to him no milk now, let's just listen to the lullabies. You're a big boy now, don't need milk etc
He cried but I said in a minute let's just listen to one more song then you can have some milk...
Then BFed him to sleep. And when we he woke in the night.

Next night the same, we got to three or four songs before he really wanted milk. BFed to sleep and in night.
Next night he literally didn't even ask for milk. I rocked him to sleep. But fed him in the night when he woke.

After about three weeks he had only asked for milk at bedtime once, and I said no, you've had warm milk that's what big boys and girls have, by then didn't even ask for milk in the night anymore. I offered him water eventually and he often still wakes and has some water but now will go back to sleep with a cuddle. DH has been finally able to put him down and more importantly, settle him during night wakes!

It's very sad when you're ready and they're not, so I hope you manage to win him round soon. Fingers crossed OP.

Greenmarmalade · 03/03/2022 21:20

I have! With twins. With all my children, they’ve cried for 3 nights and then settled. Some got really angry about it on nights 2-3. I stayed up lots in the night- cuddles, rocking, but stood firm- no more milk. I offered water/cows milk. It was hard but I couldn’t see another way. Cutting down doesn’t work at night when you’re exhausted and just want to feed to get sleep.

My 3rd child forgot about it so quickly after a few weeks, it was ridiculous.

Stay strong, OP- you have all my sympathy! Keep in mind that they know you are still there and still love them. They’re just angry because something they like is going away. If you didn’t do it now, you’d be doing the same in a year or 2 anyway.

YorkshireIndie · 03/03/2022 21:22

Had to go cold turkey but that was more because I was given medication that can cause damage to teeth despite saying I was feeding 🙄

Spent the week saying mummy has taken medicine that will make you poorly. He stopped asking after a while and we introduced a new bedtime routine. I made sure to wear tops in bed and did not share a bath for a while.

ToooOldForThis · 03/03/2022 21:27

I bribed DD age 3, said she could have whatever toy she wanted if she stopped Grin
This did come after several weeks of softly softly which just didn't work. £30 later, job done, worth every penny!

Bloatstoat · 03/03/2022 21:28

I'm so sorry you're going through this OP, it's really hard.
I stopped when my eldest was 3, I was about 3 months pregnant with DC2 at the time and I felt I had to stop it as he showed no signs of stopping and I couldn't face tandem feeding with a newborn.
The first nights were awful, I really remember the crying to sleep and the pleading just like you describe, horrible and I felt terrible for doing it but I couldn't see any other way. We stayed at my mum's for a couple of nights around that time and she says she can remember him crying and me in with him for hours just repeating it's ok mummy's here while he sobbed.
It did get better, it took about 10 days for him to stop getting really upset at bedtime, and it gradually changed from me rocking him to sleep to reading until he fell asleep to just sitting with him. It really will get better though it doesn't feel like it when you're going through it!
DC2 was 2 when I stopped - no drama, we were down to a bedtime feed and I just said we weren't going to do it anymore, she was fine. So I think different children do react very differently!
DC1 is not at all traumatised by it all, though I worried he would be. I now have baby DC3, and when I was first feeding her, DC1 said wistfully "I wish I could still do that". I asked him if he could remember when he used to have a feed, and if he could remember when we stopped and he said no, all he could remember was it was nice and cuddly! So I said he could still have a cuddle whenever he wanted, and he wandered off quite happily.
Best of luck OP Flowers