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Original poster

Failed to stop for police - why am I such an idiot?!

284 replies

ilovelamp2 · 21/02/2022 15:52

Having an absolute melt down over here - hope someone can talk me down and/or make me feel better by telling me silly things you have done when driving ..... Basically, I was on a narrow road, one lane each way, fairly chunky verge. Blue lights behind, panicked and drove few 100 metres to next roundabout to get out of way. Totally, totally know now I should have just stopped on side but I panicked. So embarrassed. Police pointed to wind my window down when they got alongside me. They were understandably irrate. I have a lot of respect for our police force and am mortified that I have made their job even more difficult than it already is. Literally cannot stop sobbing!

OP posts:
TravellingFrom · 21/02/2022 16:38

@NutCheeseBag

When my husband was taken to hospital I was in a separate ambulance. They put on the blues and twos and the van in front of us completely ignored it. We drove behind for about four or five miles until it just turned into a driveway. The paramedic told me it happens all the time.
You see that’s a completely different issue. That’s someone being awkward and refusing to let an ambulance get pass. So different from what the OP is describing.
RandomDent · 21/02/2022 16:38

If you’re worried about not hearing sirens, could you maybe drive with your windows open a little?

WiddlinDiddlin · 21/02/2022 16:39

I really don't think you did anything wrong.

As the driver of YOUR vehicle, you are responsible for deciding if it is safe to do something.

They can suggest and ask that you move out of the way, but they actually cannot force you to do something you deem unsafe like pull in where it isn't safe to do so, go through a red light etc etc.

If you DID and it turned out to be unsafe and caused another accident, it would be you that was liable after all, not them.

ThePlantsitter · 21/02/2022 16:39

@superdupertruper

The problem is this. They are assigned to a call that necessitates a blue light. All they then see is a vehicle that is now failing to stop or move. This then becomes the call they have to deal with. Are they drink driving? Is it stolen? Are they trying to discard drugs? Is there a firearm in the vehicle. Also the call they are blue lighting to could be the one that kils them whilst trying to save you or someone else's life so not necessarily bellends at all.
They're paid to do a job. Having a self-important attitude is not part of it. I have the greatest of respect for people who do dangerous and important jobs but it doesn't grant them the right to be an absolute bellend while doing it. It would help if the Police had managed to get themselves a better behavioural reputation (especially towards women) of late.
Jvg33 · 21/02/2022 16:39

The fact that you feel so guilty op just goes to show you did the best you could under the circumstances. You can only do your best. No one can ask you for anymore.

PseudoplasticFluid · 21/02/2022 16:39

@NutCheeseBag

When my husband was taken to hospital I was in a separate ambulance. They put on the blues and twos and the van in front of us completely ignored it. We drove behind for about four or five miles until it just turned into a driveway. The paramedic told me it happens all the time.
That does happen all the time, but it's not the same situation as the op has described.

Hope your husband is ok.

Original poster
ilovelamp2 · 21/02/2022 16:40

@Itsalmostanaccessory

Why are people saying she did nothing wrong?

You're meant to stop. You dont need to do any crazy driving to get out of their way and you sont need to squeeze up into bushes one country road. Just pull as far left as you can and stop and they will do the work to pass you. Especially if it is quite quiet then it is easy for them to pass if you stop.

She did do something wrong. She kept driving infront of them, holding them up. They may have radioed in that they were held up or there may be multiple cars on the way to the scene so they could take the time to tell her off.

She did do something wrong. Telling her she didnt is not helpful.

It's OK, I do know I was in the wrong. Agree with everything in your past (hence the tears!) and also the comments about how to learn from it and do better next time as well as how not to get myself into an absolute state about it as I can't go back and do it differently.
OP posts:
caranations · 21/02/2022 16:41

If it's a winding narrow road and you stop, they can't safely overtake because of traffic coming the other way that are still around the bend and can't see them coming. Easier at night when you can see the lights, but it is a pain, and not always easy to decide which course of action is best.

I did talk to DH about it (he used to be a paramedic) and he said that sometimes it is worse when people stop because they tend to stop in the most inconvenient place and it would have been far easier if they'd kept going.

So basically you can't win.

Original poster
ilovelamp2 · 21/02/2022 16:41

@BlingLoving

If I'm understanding correctly, you could have just lightly pulled over and slowed down enough for them to overtake safely? I agree with other posters not to beat yourself up about it.... but I would also say take this as a lesson because you should absolutely a) be aware of police vehicles (and lights and sirens mean that if you've got hearing aids it shouldn't mean you don't know they are there) and b) should be prepared to make a quick decision.

I do appreciate it's difficult. But when driving you do need to have these skills in order to drive safely.

Yup. Absolutely to all of this.
OP posts:
Thisisit2022 · 21/02/2022 16:44

@Itsalmostanaccessory

Why are people saying she did nothing wrong?

You're meant to stop. You dont need to do any crazy driving to get out of their way and you sont need to squeeze up into bushes one country road. Just pull as far left as you can and stop and they will do the work to pass you. Especially if it is quite quiet then it is easy for them to pass if you stop.

She did do something wrong. She kept driving infront of them, holding them up. They may have radioed in that they were held up or there may be multiple cars on the way to the scene so they could take the time to tell her off.

She did do something wrong. Telling her she didnt is not helpful.

I agree. I'm surprised it was this many posts in that someone said this.
FindingMeno · 21/02/2022 16:44

Typical police.
Dry your tears, and forget it.
You did the best you could and they were obviously on a bit of a power trip.

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 21/02/2022 16:46

If it's a winding narrow road and you stop, they can't safely overtake because of traffic coming the other way that are still around the bend and can't see them coming. Easier at night when you can see the lights, but it is a pain, and not always easy to decide which course of action is best.

This. I drive to work on a winding road with a couple of blind bends. I had a police car behind me with blues lights and sirens going but there was no way I was stopping on a bend or bumping up onto the verge. Unfortunately the car in front of me decided to stop and how there wasn't an accident I don't know.

LovedayCL · 21/02/2022 16:46

@GeneLovesJezebel

I cry when I get any form of telling off now, it’s pathetic. I blame my hormones.
It seems like it’s usually women that get a ‘telling off’ too. I agree with a previous poster that they can’t have been in that much of a rush if they had some time to berate someone who was trying their best.
Arabellla · 21/02/2022 16:46

How chunky was the verge?

You shouldn't be endangering yourself to give the police way.

Maybe your instincts / intuitive senses were helping you?

MarchXX · 21/02/2022 16:46

@ilovelamp2

Having an absolute melt down over here - hope someone can talk me down and/or make me feel better by telling me silly things you have done when driving ..... Basically, I was on a narrow road, one lane each way, fairly chunky verge. Blue lights behind, panicked and drove few 100 metres to next roundabout to get out of way. Totally, totally know now I should have just stopped on side but I panicked. So embarrassed. Police pointed to wind my window down when they got alongside me. They were understandably irrate. I have a lot of respect for our police force and am mortified that I have made their job even more difficult than it already is. Literally cannot stop sobbing!
This happened to me many years ago. I saw the flashing lights behind me and kept driving, expecting them to overtake me to attend an emergency. Gradually dawned on me it was ME they wanted to stop ( must have been a quiet night). What a numpty! Grin

So embarrassing Blush. After I apologised, they told me one of my number plate lights was not illuminated and then went over the car inspecting it from top to bottom. They were visibly disappointed not to find anything else amiss Hmm.

Don't worry about it, I reckon it happens a lot @ilovelamp2, most of us are law abiding and just don't believe that the police are looking to stop us.

CaMePlaitPas · 21/02/2022 16:46

@FindingMeno exactly this. This is why I have very little respect for police, supposedly on their way to an emergency but still enough time to lecture a lone woman with her 11 year old child in the car.

BlackSwan · 21/02/2022 16:48

Hey they weren't chasing you and you failed to stop! Be kind to yourself.

WeepingWinnie · 21/02/2022 16:51

@Itsalmostanaccessory

Why are people saying she did nothing wrong?

You're meant to stop. You dont need to do any crazy driving to get out of their way and you sont need to squeeze up into bushes one country road. Just pull as far left as you can and stop and they will do the work to pass you. Especially if it is quite quiet then it is easy for them to pass if you stop.

She did do something wrong. She kept driving infront of them, holding them up. They may have radioed in that they were held up or there may be multiple cars on the way to the scene so they could take the time to tell her off.

She did do something wrong. Telling her she didnt is not helpful.

I'm afraid I agree with this.
Original poster
ilovelamp2 · 21/02/2022 16:51

Glad it's not just me - if that's even the right word! I'm also glad I didn't know either of them (work at local high school so have a few familiar faces) as that would have been horrendous! At least noone at work needs to know!

OP posts:
Original poster
ilovelamp2 · 21/02/2022 16:55

MarchXX - that sounds awful! It's reminded me of years ago now when I was pulled over as they thought I had no insurance. I definitely did -insurer's admin error but didn't help that I froze and couldn't remember who I was insured with or my address ..... In my defence we had just moved house!

OP posts:
Nelliephant1 · 21/02/2022 16:55

No matter the emergency service you have to drive and get out of their way safely.

If they had time to give you a lecture, they weren't going anywhere particularly important. They'd probably been for a take away and it was getting cold. They sound like prize plonkers, don't waste your brain power on them.

CleanerIssuesx · 21/02/2022 16:56

Intimidation that’s what this is

CleanerIssuesx · 21/02/2022 16:57

@Nelliephant1

No matter the emergency service you have to drive and get out of their way safely.

If they had time to give you a lecture, they weren't going anywhere particularly important. They'd probably been for a take away and it was getting cold. They sound like prize plonkers, don't waste your brain power on them.

Exactly. There wasn’t an emergency they were just abusing their power
MillyMollyMandyMaybe · 21/02/2022 16:57

In some other countries it’s the law that you just stop, and I think it should be here, too - it’s a bit unfair to put the onus on the driver to decide where it’s safe and appropriate to pull in, when you can’t be sure exactly where or how the police vehicle wants to go. If you know the rule is to stop, then you just stop, and don’t have to dither about finding a place you feel is safe. The police driver can then work out the best and safest path through the stopped cars, without moving vehicles getting in the way and being unpredictable.

PseudoplasticFluid · 21/02/2022 16:57

The guidance is that you pull over when it is safe to do so. If the op didn't think it was safe at that point to pull over, then she did nothing wrong.