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A man went to the doctor;

The doctor, after an examination, sighed and said, 'I've some bad news. You have cancer, and you'd best put your affairs in order.The man was shocked, but managed to compose himself and walk into the waiting room, where his son had been waiting.

Well son, he said we celebrate when things are good, and we celebrate when things don't go well.

In this case, things aren't well I have cancer. Let's head to the pub and have a few pints.'

After 3 or 4 pints, the two were feeling a little less sombre, there were some laughs and more beers and they were eventually approached by some of the old fella's friends, who were curious as to what the two were celebrating.

The man told his friends they were drinking to his impending end. 'I have been diagnosed with AIDS.' The friends gave him their condolences, and they had a couple of more beers.

After the friends left, the son son leaned over and whispered, 'Dad, I thought you said you were dying of cancer, and you just told your friends you were dying of AIDS.'

The man said, 'I don't want any of them sleeping with your Mother after I'm gone.'