At what point do allergies become unmanageable?

[Woahthehorsey]

DC1 has a new child starting in their school after half term. It's a really small school so they often do whole school things, like play time, lunch time, assembly etc. It's not clear what class this child is entering in.

Information has been shared by the school about this particular child (with parental permission). The child has a number of severe food allergies and as a result we can't bring them for snacks or packed lunch and they're also being taken off the school menu and we're being asked that our children clean teeth and wash hands after eating them at home. This is the list:

Peanuts (were a nut free school anyway)
Tomatoes
Melon
Strawberry
Dairy
Eggs
Legumes (beans & chickpeas)
Lentils
Soya (including as an ingredient)
Oranges and orange citrus fruit
Celery
Coconut

My kids thankfully don't have allergies and we aren't vegetarian or vegan but I can only imagine what parents of Vege kids or coeliac kids are thinking about what their kids will be fed. The school runs a breakfast club and we've been told milk will be replaced with oat alternative.

I just wonder at what point does it get too much? I'm terrified I'll forget something and inadvertently harm this child. Especially soya which is in everything. The parents must be terrified!

For further info, my kid has school lunches but takes packed lunches for holiday club and is in breakfast club sometimes and after school club 3 times a week, one of the reasons we chose the school was great wrap around provision. We eat a lot of the banned foods at home.

Suggestions for lunch boxes appreciated, we usually do homemade pitta pizza and veg sticks, hummus, yogurt and fruit (melon and strawberries being the favourite!).

That's a really long list of foods to exclude from lunch boxes. As much as I would feel for this child and their parents I would be questioning whether school is a safe and appropriate environment for them? It sounds like it must be very severe allergies if children need to clean hands and teeth after eating them at home.

A few specific items wouldn't be a problem but excluding things like soya and dairy from packed lunches will be difficult. It seems like it would be easier to ban packed lunches so all food on site would meet the requirements. Although that's not a great solution either, my children wouldn't have been happy to have school dinners all the time.

Good luck to the school with taking eggs, dairy and soya off the menu.

Never gonna happen.

My son is anaphylactic to the items I mentioned and several of the items you mentioned and it's absolutely unattainable to expect the school to not have those ingredients. Or the pack lunch kids.

Our school allows nuts which it think is a bit rubbish but I wouldn't say anything.

I am afraid that this moves from being an item that is easily excluded like nuts, to nigh on impossible and ultimately not the responsibility of the other parents to keep that child safe to the detriment of their own child's diet. The fruit and vegetables on top of the dairy and eggs make this unrealistic. And tbh, if my child was in a school where they wouldn't be able to eat these, I'd be writing to say that it's unhealthy for the children as the alternatives are basically junk!

If the child has that extensive allergies, they should have funding in place for a 1:1 who is trained to react to allergic reactions. Or the parents find alternative schooling.

It's going to be impossible for parents to exclude all those ingredients

I really wouldn't like to be the parents of the allergic child. I though ds' nut allergy was nerve wracking enough, but severe allergy affecting so many food groups, that's really bad luck.

I have a nut allergy and as such have some sympathy for this child however I would kick up merry hell over this especially the dairy products which are extremely important for children's bone development and removing it from the diet of every school child is a massively disproportionate response from the school surely the school should be making a separate space available for this 1 child to eat safe food rather than severely restricting the diet of every child or is the school going to give every child expensive supplements to make up for the lack of appropriate food aswell as the ridiculous cost of oat milk (which is disgusting IMHO and none of my kids would touch) and more to point where is the money coming for for all of this?

That's madness. Surely they teach the child not to take anything from other peoples packed lunches and then the class wash hands after eating.

Can disinfect tables after eating.

I wouldn't be happy with this at all - what's going to happen when this child grows up. The world isn't going to be strawberry and melon free!

Staff need training on epi pen or whatever he has.

I do feel for the kid and parents but that's just not sustainable. Does everyone have to buy dairy free butter and bread for sandwiches?!!!

That seems unworkable, the child must be severely allergic if they expect kids to clean their teeth and wash their hands, are the staff and other parents being asked to do that too. What meals have the school said they will prepare for the other children.

It seems like a lot of that is what exactly constitutes a packed lunch.

I think maybe go back to the school and ask? I worked with someone who couldn’t be in the same room with peanuts. But she did have an epi pen.

It sounds like he needs one to one support at dinner time. You can’t expect the whole class to not bring those items! You could easily argue that eggs are essential for protein, citrus for vitamin C, and it means your child isn’t being nourished properly. That would be my take.

When l taught the only thing banned was nuts.

Ok. I thought I was being unreasonable (but didn't want to put it to AIBU) but it seems others have similar thoughts to me. I don't deny this child has a right to an education, I just don't think a school setting is appropriate for this.

It will massively increase the cost of your packed lunches as non dairy stuff is so much more expensive.

I wouldn’t have thought the school would have shared this without proper medical evidence rather than kid will get a rash rather than die which is the extreme outcome.

Maybe get to know the parent and find out what the reactions are.

I have a child in my class with an allergy to stuff outside so can’t touch the floor so have to adapt PE lessons and post covid I still think it’s a good idea for kids to regularly wash their hands!

@welshmercury

It will massively increase the cost of your packed lunches as non dairy stuff is so much more expensive.

I wouldn’t have thought the school would have shared this without proper medical evidence rather than kid will get a rash rather than die which is the extreme outcome.

Maybe get to know the parent and find out what the reactions are.

I have a child in my class with an allergy to stuff outside so can’t touch the floor so have to adapt PE lessons and post covid I still think it’s a good idea for kids to regularly wash their hands!

I don't want to be too outing but I'm confident that the school are acting on medical advice from how the letter is worded. They don't have a high proportion of kids on packed lunches but all school trips and holiday clubs are pack lunch only.

I suspect our school has been chosen because it is so small (80 kids) so the risks are reduced.

My child has a list nearly that long but is fine in the room with most of the allergens.

If they really needed then levels of protection required as you have set out then I would agree that school wouldn't be a safe environment.

I would think it fair if school avoided those items for learning activities but not in the canteen.

Poor kid, if they have a tomato allergy it will probably develop to include the whole solanaceae family ie potatoes.

The school are really going to struggle to exclude all those foods. I assume they have an onsite kitchen?

I have a soy and dairy allergy and it is a pain to avoid them.

I’ve been trying to avoid soya and have found it is in every single sliced bread in Aldi and Asda. There is no way that people will be bringing in soya free packed lunches even if they think they are. Soya seems to be added to so much nowadays

I both mine have dairy and soya allergies. Eldest had eating issues and there wouldn’t have been much for him to eat if coconut had been banned. How are they going to cope if they get another child with different medical food needs. Is it going to be lentil dahl or a lentil free version as a childminder on another thread made for lunch every day?
I feel for the parents but it’s not fair on the other 80 children

It is the dairy and eggs that are going to be the biggest issue as they are in so many foods especially ones that you least expect. I say this with a child with allergies that this is totally unsustainable. Also they should not as a school be reducing their meals to not include calcium etc without making sure that the school lunches are nutritionally well balanced. I would really like to see what meals they are planning around these allergies. Packed lunches are going to be really hard to make.

That's crazy and it's not good practice to ban foods. It creates a false sense of security.

My dd is anaphylactic to peanuts. They have not been banned in any school she has attended. (Five schools). It's important that the child knows not to share food and not to eat anything that another child gives them, even if that child says it hasn't got any allergens in it. And that the adults in the school know how to manage the allergy and any reaction to it.

www.anaphylaxis.org.uk/campaigning/making-schools-safer-project/

Struggling to see much other than meat and fancy bread (with olive oil spread) that is allowed!

Carrot sticks, cucumber, meat (but not all meat).

Looks like most vegetarian and vegan protein sources fall into that list as well.

Bread without soya was nigh on impossible to source when I was avoiding it because of my babies reacting to it in my milk and there's not much in the way of vegan spreads (because no dairy) that aren't soya based! Has the school provided menus for what will be served and suggestions for what CAN go in a packed lunch?

I'm going to hazard a guess that the school are absolutely terrified. They have been completely set up by the parents of this kid and/or the local authority on this one. It is impossible.

I am assuming we are talking primary school here given the numbers. So the school are required to provide a healthy balanced meal inc:

1 portion of starch (3 different across the week) plus a portion of bread.
1 fruit and 1 veg per day and 2 fruit puddings a week
1 protein portion - different each day of the week
1 portion of dairy daily.

All on a budget of about £2.30 a child, for all in ks1 and anyone eligible /paying for it in ks2. For a school of 80 your own kitchen will be likely beyond budget and food costs will be tiny.

It won't happen, and someone is going to cause that child to be ill as even in 80 kids there will be others with allergies/dietary needs that contradict that list. And as others have said that list has just doubled anyone's packed lunch budget and potentially really screwed with your average primary kids restrictive diet!

It's the FSM kids I feel for as those kids need the nutritious meal they are simply not going to get in school with all those restrictions on the budget provided.

I would write to the school thanking them for the information.

Say it's very overwhelming and ask them to produce a list of alternatives for a standard lacked lunch with those food groups removed and at an equal cost of a standard packed lunch.

Sometimes getting peoples minds focussed on what they are actually asking can help open a dialogue.

I've sat here for 5 minutes trying to think what I would pack my dc if this was their school....

Given bread products nearly aways contain soya - I'm thinking potato or rice? Dc wouldn't eat either cold.

Protein wise it would have to be meat - but is thee a filler issue there too? And to be veggie I wouldn't have a clue as my vegan friends rely on nuts/seeds and beans for that...

Fruit and veg is doable- but not a good diet if there's nothing else...

Snacks/puddings? Well they are out there but damned expensive (assuming they are soya free)

I'd be asking the school to ask the parents t to provide some recipes/ lunch ideas!!

The school is going overboard. This is a completely disproportionate reaction.

I also have a child who had severe allergies until she was toddler (she outgrew some of them). She would also react on secondary contact e.g. if another child had touched cheese and then touched her.

What the school needs to do is make sure this child's food is prepared separately, make sure any child who is likely to have contact with them washes hands and face after eating and make sure food areas are cleaned thoroughly after eating. Ensure that children aren't sharing food. The only food they should consider banning from the school are nuts/peanuts and meringue because these foods can become airborne.

Banning these foods will have a negative effect on the other children's health and is disproportionate. At school age, kids can start taking a little more responsibility for their allergies. The sooner the better because they aren't always going to have full control over the environment they are in. My 3 year old has been able to tell people what she can and can't have for a long time.

Also - oatmilk? What are the school going o do if they have a child that reacts to Oates?

@itsgettingweird

I would write to the school thanking them for the information.

Say it's very overwhelming and ask them to produce a list of alternatives for a standard lacked lunch with those food groups removed and at an equal cost of a standard packed lunch.

Sometimes getting peoples minds focussed on what they are actually asking can help open a dialogue.

I think this is a good idea. And I can't imagine the school dinner company is going to manage to cook meals without any of those ingredients either. It's completely unmanageable.

This is completely inappropriate of the school to ask this of everyone. Dairy is recommended at primary school age and I would not be happy with an oat milk alternative, or not being allowed to take dairy in a lunchbox.

It will also increase the cost and effort required to check all ingredients which I wouldn’t be prepared to do.

School is not the place for this child if it means all these foods/ingredients are not allowed for all other children.