If someone says "I'm happy to...", what do they mean?

[pregnantncnc]

I'm shattered at the moment, really run down - so DH offered to take DS to his lesson this morning; it's a mile walk in the rain, followed by 90 min sat in a hot hall and a mile walk home. It's in a different council area so it was half term and it wasn't on (ours is next week - didn't even think about it). DH and DS are going to get coffee and cake instead (1/2 way between lesson and home).

I said (via text);
"Oh no, that's annoying, but cake sounds good. I'd like to come and join you, unless you'd like some 1-1 time with DS"

He replied;
"I'm happy to take DS for cake without you, so that you can rest"

^That doesn't actually answer my question, does it? I know he means that he'd like some 1-1 time with DS and that's absolutely fine - but why phrase it like he's doing me a favour when I've asked if I can come? He's been doing a lot of this lately and it is really pissing me off.

DISCLAIMER: Don't worry, I am not wasting this time alone seething, I'm happily back in bed with a coffee and they're bringing me cake home. I'm not angry, I just want to be told things straight

You're pissed off about this?

He's being nice, chill out!

If you’re too exhausted to take DS to the class why are you then not too exhausted to walk and join them for cake? I’d be confused if I were your DH. If you wanted him to take DS to the class because you can’t be bothered and it’s a chore you dread then just be honest and say that to your DH and agree to take it in turns to do that, unless he would actually enjoy it. If you’re exhausted then you’re exhausted and need to rest.

@Cakelover17

Honestly OP it sounds like hard work you going joining aswell, he walked a mile in the rain, presumably because he couldn’t drive there, so you want him to wait will you get up, dressed and walk there too before he can have coffee and cake. It’s just not logical! And then you’ll probably complain more about being exhausted.

This is what I'd be thinking. If he texted from the venue you'd have to leave immediately to get to the cafe at the same time as him (if halfway). If he was already at the cafe you'd be ten minutes if you left immediately. Coffee and cake doesn't take all that long with a child.

Take the rest and ask him to bring you back some cake!

You can’t have it both ways. If it’s usually your chore but you wanted to rest then he ^was^ doing you a favour - even if turned out to be less of a chore than anticipated this time.

Put a stop to the bins bullshit, but this isn’t one to pick a fight over.

Your shattered reason you didn't rake him in the first place. So he's happy to let you rest don't get what your actually asking.

I usually use "I'm happy to" at work when one of my superiors is being a div, and has asked me to do something incorrect. It's a polite if slightly pass agg way to point out that they've given me incomplete or incorrect instructions, whilst offering to do what they originally asked if they really want.

E.g. "I'm happy to send the prices from four years back, but I could use the current ones that are correct." type thing.

He's doing the same, IMO, since you're supposed to be resting and he doesn't want the faff because you've changed your mind to a certain extent.

[quote CityCommuter]@pregnantncnc you sound like hard work tbh... are you always like this, over analysing? Maybe your DH just wants some space / a breather...[/quote]
Was a supposed to be a lighthearted rant/ramble. I've conceded that I was wrong/it didn't come across that way My disclaimer at the bottom of the OP was supposed to make that clear.

• but why phrase it like he's doing me a favour when I've asked if I can come? He's been doing a lot of this lately and it is really pissing me off.

Think this big negated your light hearted disclaimer OP, pregnancy rage happens to us all though, hope you enjoyed your cake

I have a family member with severe FOMO (not saying you do). I find it difficult to know what to say when it is inconvenient to invite her to something without upsetting her. If they were already at the cafe I can understand your husband not wanting to wait for you.

He's gonna do it, but wants some praise for it

OP, I know exactly what you mean. He’s doing something that suits him and dressing it up that he’s doing it to be nice to you.

If you haven’t loved with that dynamic you’d never understand it but fwiw you’re not alone.