Is this depression? Still functioning okay..

[changingshopping]

After the birth of my first dc I became depression. I was diagnosed with PND and prescribed antidepressants which I never took. Ever since then I have felt "sad". I cry all the time; in the morning, in bed, in the bath. I feel angry and irritated and have no energy to make tea/packed lunches. I have a lovely DH and dc. Not rich but no money worries.

However, I hold down a job, although it takes every ounce of energy to get through the day, faking it, I then go home and hide under the bed and cry for hours on end. No one in work would have any idea. My friends would have no idea. I go out with friends and have a good time but then the day after the sadness starts again.

I've been prescribed anti depressants from gp but feel a bit of a fraud because how can I be depressed, no one on the outside would have a clue what I feel/going through.

Absolutely that sounds like depression! Your GP wouldn't have prescribed if he didn't think that is what it was. You your self know something is wrong, do you have other ideas what it is? Seems quite extreme to ignore doctors advice and carry on like this, unless there's something else at play?

@Sycamoretrees nothing else going on. I just feel exhausted and fed up of life but this has been going on for nearly 10 years. I'm scared of taking medication

I know it's hard, especially when you've been feeling low for such a long time. But medication can make a real difference, what have you got to loose by trying it?

What is making you scared of taking the medication?

IME this is absolutely depression. Right down to fear of taking the medication. (If you do a search, there’s loads of threads)

Yes, it sounds like clinical depression. Please, take the antidepressants. In a few weeks, you'll realise you aren't crying every day, and you will get better. It takes time. Be kind to yourself, take the medication. I promise you, you will start to feel better.

If you had a throat infection that wasn't clearing, you would take antibiotics.

If you had a back problem caused by a swollen disc, you would take painkillers and anti inflammatories.

You have PND which is significantly impacting on your family life. It is not clearing by itself. You have been prescribed medication to help you. Please take it.

The coping at work is just that. It takes all your energy to get through the work day. You have nothing left in you when you get home. I've been there. It's horrible. But you can help yourself to get better. The depression will not go away by itself. But the medication may well take the edge off it enough for you to start feeling a little bit hopeful.

Please don't be afraid of the medication, many of us have felt the same way, and found it life changing to have the depression lift.

You are all so right, I need to take the medication. I think I'm in denial that I actually have depression as I can get through the day, and can still go to work,
Look after the children, I just crumble behind closed doors. I think also it's because I can't see how medication can help how I feel

Hi everyone,
I know depression is an incredibly hard and challenging topic for many people. I'm carrying out a study into types of depression and the effects of different treatments for it. If you are being treated for your depression and would like to contribute I would be really grateful if you could fill out this form - it's completely anonymous so your name isn't required, nor will your responses be shared anywhere other than in my report.

docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdEiT0x5BfSueOSa3F7stPGm7d_f8u98i6k6d3CBL0i3Vy-7Q/viewform?usp=sf_link

You do need to take the medication, so you can be the best mum to your children.