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Original poster

Help me draft a reply

23 replies

BloodyBackpackPiTA · 19/02/2022 10:52

My DS (9) accidentally ripped another child’s backpack yesterday during a silly game. There was a line of four of them holding onto each other. DS was 4 and no. 3’s bag ripped.

His mum has just text to ask “Are you aware of what happened yesterday” so I’m assuming she wants me to pay for a new one.

How would you reply? I would happily pay towards a new one but I don’t know what type of bag and therefore how much she’s expecting or even how to respond in the first place. What would you send as an opener?

OP posts:
happystory · 19/02/2022 10:54

You seriously need help replying to a text like that??

Thoosa · 19/02/2022 10:54

She sounds annoying already. Why not just say what’s she’s referring to and what she wants?

Just say “I gather there was some horseplay. Is that what you mean?”

YouMuckyDuck · 19/02/2022 10:55

Just reply 'yes`

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MountainAshley · 19/02/2022 10:56

I'd suggest paying 50/50. Her child was involved in the silly game too. He should look after his belongings more carefully!

Original poster
BloodyBackpackPiTA · 19/02/2022 10:56

My issue is she’s not said she wants me to pay, she wants a repair, she wants an apology. I am a bit Hmm because no. 2’s bag could have ripped but it didn’t. If my DS been the one who’s bag ripped if had seen it up and told him not to play silly games again.

OP posts:
GoldenGorilla · 19/02/2022 10:57

Her text is a bit rude in tone. Tbh if I’d heard my child had damaged something (even by accident) I’d have contacted the other mum to check if I needed to replace it, so maybe she’s sounding pissed off because she was expecting to hear from you?

Assuming you want to keep things friendly and are happy to pay, I’d reply with “I heard your Dds bag was damaged while they were playing? Is it fixable or do we need to replace it?” And just go from there.

MountainAshley · 19/02/2022 10:57

Or send her a needle and thread Grin

Original poster
BloodyBackpackPiTA · 19/02/2022 10:57

Typos. I’d have sewn it up.

OP posts:
GoldenGorilla · 19/02/2022 10:58

And I wouldn’t just say yes you’re aware in case the version she’s heard is very different!

WeAreTheHeroes · 19/02/2022 11:00

Do you know what, don't text back, ring her and see what she has to say. The longer you leave it to respond, the more wound up she's likely to get.

WarmSausageTea · 19/02/2022 11:00

You seriously need help replying to a text like that??

Do you feel better for posting that?

YouMuckyDuck · 19/02/2022 11:03

@GoldenGorilla

And I wouldn’t just say yes you’re aware in case the version she’s heard is very different!
Good point! Reply with '?'
ChoiceMummy · 19/02/2022 11:47

@BloodyBackpackPiTA
We had a similar situation and Omg the fallout has been monumental. My own child's belongings were torn, I just sewed it up. However, when the darling who tore my child's during play had theirs torn in the same circumstances has practically portrayed my child as the devil incarnate with the cliquey mums!
Beware no matter how you respond it will not be enough.

Chestofdraws · 19/02/2022 11:49

Why all the recommendations to play mind games with this woman. Answer with ? Really?

Just respond and say yes, hi, I understand the kids were being silly and mine ripped your kids bag, is there anything I can do, can it be repaired?

OrganisedChaos22 · 19/02/2022 11:51

Yes I've just been made aware, ds said there was 4 dcs all doing the same so all as bad as each other, that's kids. it's very unfortunate your ds bag has been ripped.
Is it repairable. If not I'm I'm happy to pay half/all towards a new one.

Cotswoldmama · 19/02/2022 11:55

I wouldn't never expect another parent to pay for a new bag or to fix a bag in this situation, it was just an accident they're all equally to blame. If it was on purpose that would be different.

Original poster
BloodyBackpackPiTA · 19/02/2022 12:00

I just rang her apologised and paid. I couldn’t be bothered with the whole back and forth. DS looked so worried and I just told him it wasn’t a big deal and we will just forget all about it but to think twice during games next time! Who knows what she’s been told by her son. It was the teacher who told my sister who collected that it was a game so surely the other mother was told the same by her.

I’ve been lucky that this is the first time it’s come up in 5 years of school. Had it been an iPhone or something much more expensive I’d have been much less willing to cough up!

OP posts:
UserBotLurking9to5 · 19/02/2022 12:05

God, the nerve of her expecting another parent to pay for a ripped school bag! Kids horse around. Things break, get lost, get ripped, jackets get accidentally swapped with a smaller child Confused that is life.You can't go marching around asking other parents to pay for stuff!!

19 years of being a mother and I've never asked anybody to pay for anything. BAFFLING ENTITLEMENT

UserBotLurking9to5 · 19/02/2022 12:10

[quote ChoiceMummy]@BloodyBackpackPiTA
We had a similar situation and Omg the fallout has been monumental. My own child's belongings were torn, I just sewed it up. However, when the darling who tore my child's during play had theirs torn in the same circumstances has practically portrayed my child as the devil incarnate with the cliquey mums!
Beware no matter how you respond it will not be enough.[/quote]
yeh, agree, the expectation of a mother who expects somebody else to pay for a damaged item suggests she thinks her precious do-no-wrong angel has to go in to the jungle with all the boisterous destructive tykes.

LookItsMeAgain · 19/02/2022 12:13

I'd just say "I'm not sure, what are you referring to?" because she may have heard a different version to the one you have.

pancakesandsyrupplease · 19/02/2022 12:24

@UserBotLurking9to5

God, the nerve of her expecting another parent to pay for a ripped school bag! Kids horse around. Things break, get lost, get ripped, jackets get accidentally swapped with a smaller child Confused that is life.You can't go marching around asking other parents to pay for stuff!!

19 years of being a mother and I've never asked anybody to pay for anything. BAFFLING ENTITLEMENT

Many years ago when my DC was about 4 he accidentally broke another child's toy. Now, I'm the kind of person to apologise profusely and offer to pay. But before I had chance to, the child's mum made a accusatory comment about my child and that he needed to be told off and that I needed to replace it. I mean FFS, they were 4! I did buy them a new one, but I took the broken one and repaired it so my child could have it, and I avoided them after that!
MintyFreshBreath · 19/02/2022 13:10

People are fucking entitled. My son was threatened with expulsion after he touched a teacher on the shoulder and it damaged his coat. It was a case of me paying £120 for a new coat or him being chucked out! They wouldn’t even let me see the CCTV of the incident due to GDPR. I pointed out that I could use my own eyes to look at all the kids so what was the difference but the school were having none of it. I still don’t really know what happened, whether it was an accident or whether it was malicious. I don’t know whether the coat was repairable as I didn’t even get to see it 🤷‍♀️ Luckily I could afford to cough up but not everyone can afford to basically buy themselves out of a sticky situation and I was cross at both DS and the school for that.

YouMuckyDuck · 19/02/2022 15:08

Oh give over @Chestofdraws, it was tongue in cheek 🙄

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