So so tired

[tunnocksreturns2019]

I miss having a husband and father for my children so so much. Exhausted in every way by too many things to mention. But most of it comes down to everything being on me, all the time, in a way you can’t imagine unless you’re also on your own with a child or children who are struggling and are bereaved of their other parent.

Five years two months and counting. I am absolutely hollowed out.

I’m not posting for solutions. I just want to be heard. Everyone thinks I can keep going because I always have.

Sorry, I have no words of wisdom I’m afraid but for you.

I related to your thread title but didn’t expect to relate quite so much. But, yes, I am only 5 months in to this, absolutely exhausted, so so tired of being the only parent and making all the decisions, trying to work out what to do for the best for the children. The storm ruined my plans, we should be in London now, and I am pretending this is ok and trying to work out how to still make them happy. I am absolutely broken and somehow have to look after traumatised children.
Sorry, that’s no help to you, all I can say is I get what you mean. Somehow we struggle through one step at a time.

10+ years as a single parent, 100% care, no break.... I hear you.. I feel your pain.. it's tough...

So sorry you are living this too, badlydrawnbear

We have been doing better, but not at the moment. It’s so relentless. I am desperate for rest and a break from responsibility. Sending

@MissMaple82

10+ years as a single parent, 100% care, no break.... I hear you.. I feel your pain.. it's tough...

It’s too much!

I even managed to pluck up the courage to reach out to pastoral care at my eldest’s school as he’s in a bad way. A week on no one has even bothered to respond. This life has felt like a test to take alone, at every step.

@tunnocksreturns2019

I even managed to pluck up the courage to reach out to pastoral care at my eldest’s school as he’s in a bad way. A week on no one has even bothered to respond. This life has felt like a test to take alone, at every step.

That’s rubbish. I am lucky that DCs’ primary school has been very supportive. In a couple of weeks we find which secondary school DC1 will be going to, and I am concerned they will not be as supportive.

I hope you have a much better experience, badlydrawnbear. We chose this school for the alleged pastoral support but I don’t think it’s coping post-covid. So many children needing support. And no doubt they think we should all be fine by now, whereas my nearly 13 year old is just starting to really grieve. Chuck in adhd and anxiety and we are having the best time. His sibling is doing well though. I know I have things to be thankful for but I am tired to the marrow of my bones

Yes I've been there. My kids had just started school when my husband died.
Now they are teens and I'm fine - miss him every day but I married late so being on my own is nothing new, though of course the kids can make it tough. My son too has been suffering recently and I keenly feel that a father would be wonderful in his life particularly now. I do my best, I'm not leading the life I thought I would, but i just keep pushing forwards.

my youngest had just started school too.

I’d like a rest from the pushing forwards I suppose. I know I’m doing all I can for everyone.

I hear you too . My DH hasn't died yet but is at home dying with cancer. I am exhausted yet I know the worst is yet to come.

Reach out and tell people. Ask friends for help. They may think you are just fine.

@bloodywhitecat

I hear you too . My DH hasn't died yet but is at home dying with cancer. I am exhausted yet I know the worst is yet to come.

😞

OP, I hear you.

I hear you all and sending a hand-hold.

What about other school friends to reach out to? DD(13)'s friend is coping with a newly diagnosed bi-polar Dad. I don't know the Mum closely (she's very private) but having her DD over for tea/movies/the occasional sleepover is an absolute pleasure and I know it gives respite to her Mum. She trusts us and we don't have to talk or get too 'personal' for her to know that I have her back. Her DD is always welcome and despite living 20 odd miles away, I'll happily collect her.

Trust the people around you. They'll want to help.

Sending love x

@massiveblob

Reach out and tell people. Ask friends for help. They may think you are just fine.

I have done this. But it’s hard to keep doing it over and over again, so generally I don’t. Covid has made most very insular, in my experience. Maybe I would’ve been too, if I still had my nuclear family.

So yeah, it’s me driving three kids to a party tomorrow and then trying to get a double mattress down the stairs on my own and into a recycling bag before a new one is delivered 🤣

It’s not about the practical stuff really at all though. It’s the emotional load of being a widowed parent - and simply no one can take that away. It’s that making me so bone tired.

Night. Appreciated the company

Good night @tunnocksreturns2019

Sleep tight