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Thank you to two random women

29 replies

wanttomarryamillionaire · 18/02/2022 00:05

So tonight i was attacked by my partner. He spat in my face, pushed me over, kicked me, smashed my phone, cut my hand and poured a drink over my head. This all happened in a busy street in London, there were many many people walking past. The only people who stopped to help me were two lone women, one of whom he threatened as well as me. Lots and lots of men just walked on past while he did this. I just want to say thank you to these two complete strangers who restored my faith in humanity. I didn't get to thank them properly as i was to shaken up and trying to pacify him so that he didn't attack either of these women. If either of these ladies is on here just know that i thank you from the bottom of my heart. He has been a cheat and emotionally manipulative but until today he has never ever laid a finger on me, but it was the first and the last time he will ever do that to me.

OP posts:
SingingSands · 18/02/2022 00:06

I'm so sorry this happened to you. I hope you're safe now OP. Thank you to the two women.

wanttomarryamillionaire · 18/02/2022 00:09

@SingingSands thank you, yes i am fine now. Just completely shocked. I am safe we don't live together so i am now at home.

OP posts:
BuanoKubiamVej · 18/02/2022 00:11

I hope you are safely somewhere he can't get to now op. Violence like this escalates, don't think that it's safe to be near him just because he seems to have calmed down. He has shown you who he is. Believe him. The mask of civilised behaviour is only a pretence to get your guard down.

Susu49 · 18/02/2022 00:12

but it was the first and the last time he will ever do that to me

👏👏

I'm so sorry this happened to you, and hope you're safe with a plan for extricating yourself from his life. But I am very glad you're taking this attitude.

Be gentle with yourself over the next few weeks, the emotional shock might take a while to kick in and I hope you have plenty of support if it does.

Flowers
bluedomino · 18/02/2022 00:12

I hope you are safe now and he is locked up. I hope I would have the courage of those two random women if I saw that. I hope you heal quickly and get access to some counselling. Womens Aid are amazing.

RoyKentsChestHair · 18/02/2022 00:14

I’m so sorry he did that to you. And thank you to those women. I’ve intervened when I saw a man grabbing his GF by the wrists and saying awful things to her in public, while everyone else just walked past. But he was an elderly guy so I didn’t feel physically threatened - it must have taken quite some courage to step in in this case. I hope you’re ok and that the women who helped you aren’t too shaken up by it either.

I’m glad you’re strong enough to walk away the first time. So many of us stay for far too long. You’ll be fine and happy in the future - just take good care of yourself now while you heal from it Flowers

wanttomarryamillionaire · 18/02/2022 00:15

Thank for all your comments. Im fine just feel completely stunned that he did that if im being completely honest. I also hope that as a previous poster said if i am to ever see that happening to a woman that i too would be brave enough to step in and help.

OP posts:
CrushedPistachios · 18/02/2022 00:17

People tend not to get involved for being ganged up on and accused of intruding on another couples business by the victim and the attacker in these scenarios.

TigerLilyTail · 18/02/2022 00:24

There's no way in hell I would intervene in this scenario. Too many people have been severely injured or even killed doing so. I'd call the police and hope they actually turn up.

Lou98 · 18/02/2022 00:29

I hope you're okay OP and glad the women stepped in!

I can understand people not wanting to intervene but I can't ever understand why they wouldn't phone the police.

Honestly, having been attacked myself by a man I didn't know I wouldn't step in if I was alone out of fear but I would 100% phone the police and try get help, I would never just ignore and do nothing

EnjoyingTheSilence · 18/02/2022 00:30

I’ve been that woman in the past then received abuse from the woman. I would still do it again though. Glad your safe and that someone stepped in to help you.

YouCantTourniquetTheTaint · 18/02/2022 00:58

Oh sweetheart that's awful, I'm glad to hear you say it's the first and last time 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼I admire the courage in your convictions. I hope you are safe and I hope you have someone you can talk to about this, maybe get some extra security for home, but right now you just need to let yourself feel how you feel, there some good resources online that can help, including MN.

A lot of the time people don't stop because they think someone else will step in, it's the bystander effect, it's a studied phenomenon, and its shocking and interesting.

I would have interviened, because I have interviened in the past when I've seen or heard someone getting hurt, the last time was on the bus, an elderly lady and small child got on the bus, and ask to sit in the seats reserved for the elderly ect, the chavvy family sat there who'd already been swearing at each other and their kids, just started mocking her accent (she was Indian I think) mocking her, and laughing about it, it was horrible to listen to, I was getting off at the next stop and loudly said to you want my seat, she thanked me and stuff, I apologised to her saying she shouldn't have to go through that, and we had a little chat. My voice is loud and it carries. The mum and dad insulting her had faces like thunder, I just smiled and got off the bus, the way the dad looked at me, if looks could kill, it was the look of pure venom. I just stared back with a little smirk.

Anyway, just make sure you're not physically hurt, as adrenaline can mask it, and just do what you need to do, to calm yourself down. Just remember that this wasn't your fault, but I think you know that already, and please take care Flowers

RedCandyApple · 18/02/2022 01:03

I’m afraid I wouldn’t have got physically involved either (heard of people doing this and being attacked themselves by the man and in some cases the woman as well) but would have called the police, I hope you have? and I hope you mean it that you won’t get back with him? Do you have children with him?

Thoosa · 18/02/2022 01:14

Well done those brave women. I hope I’d do the same but you never know until you’re faced with the reality.

Glad you’re safe OP.

timewillhealabrokenheart · 18/02/2022 01:57

So sorry you went through that OP, but please report his assault to the police; if he gets away with it scot free, he'll do it again. It may've been caught on cctv

dipdye · 18/02/2022 02:07

How awful op, hope you're feeling a bit better.

Bravo for the two ladies 💪💪💪💪

vivariumvivariumsvivaria · 18/02/2022 02:11

Good for you.

And for them.

Fuck him. Or rather, don't. Not ever again, ewwww.

Hope you are ok.

wanttomarryamillionaire · 18/02/2022 12:45

Thank you to you all. Im fine today, just seems like a weird/bad dream. I've blocked him on everything and deleted his number. Those two ladies really made me proud to be female and I know that if im in the situation to help another woman like they did for me i will definitely do it.

OP posts:
MinnieJackson · 18/02/2022 14:31

So sorry op, I'm glad you're ok.
@EnjoyingTheSilence the same happened to my dad. He saw a man slap a woman round the face in a service station car park and try and drag her in the car. My dad intervened and the woman told my dad to fuck off. He went into the services and asked them if they had cctv and if they did to report the numberplate to the police.

DelphiniumBlue · 18/02/2022 14:43

That sounds so scary, hope you are OK.
What lovely women stepping in like that, it takes guts to do the right thing, sometimes.
I hope you have reported the incident to the police, chances are he's done this before. It is hard to do that, I had to do it myself many years ago, but I felt I couldn't let him behave like that with impunity. He got only a small fine but it made him understand that society sees that behaviour as unacceptable, and he has a record now.

DelphiniumBlue · 18/02/2022 14:44

I would just say that this is likely to affect you in a lot of different ways, if you can access counselling now it will help you come to terms with this more quickly.

throughthenightdarkly · 18/02/2022 14:50

I'm glad they intervened. My Dad - all of about 5ft 3 in height and puny, always intervened. He say a group of young men beating a woman up in the street. Dad was well in his 60s and he went up to them and said 'what the hell do you think you are doing? Leave her alone!' And they did. My dad always intervened and never got beaten up for it. I try to do the same and have never got beaten up. Those stories never make the press though.

I think my Dad was right. If we don't stand up, then the 'scummy' people win (as he put it) And they keep on being emboldened to be scum when they do this and get away with it.

Ionlydomassiveones · 18/02/2022 14:52

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the poster's request.

IsItTooHotInHere · 18/02/2022 14:56

wanttomarryamillionaire I hope you're ok after that. Please press charges against the scumbag. Good on those 2 women who helped you. Disgusting how men walked past. Not all men are horrible (my 2 sons and my husband aren't).

Giggorata · 18/02/2022 14:56

@RedCandyApple

I’m afraid I wouldn’t have got physically involved either (heard of people doing this and being attacked themselves by the man and in some cases the woman as well) but would have called the police, I hope you have? and I hope you mean it that you won’t get back with him? Do you have children with him?
I was in this situation years ago, in another life and if I hadn't turned on the person who tried to intervene when my ex was beating me up, I would have got far worse at home. I regret it to this day and I hope that they, and others, understand.