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Original poster

I am determined to make some friends

37 replies

CrypticCode · 17/02/2022 18:38

...this year

U am 40 and I have noone.

So I have a plan.

Each month I am going to try something new. Funds are limited so not massive things, but a new group or something?

So I have booked in to attend a local book group and have ordered the book.
I have sent inquiry emails to WI, NWR and townswomans guild. (Not sure these are for me, but let's see what happens)

Where else can I look to meet people?

There is a local social group but they all seem to know each other and the events are converts etc whereas I would prefer a coffee type setting.

OP posts:
BlueCookieMonster · 17/02/2022 18:42

Are you based anywhere specific?

I’ve thought about trying that peanut app for parents, but not sure I’m up for it.

RedCandyApple · 17/02/2022 18:47

There are apps but I haven’t/wouldn’t use them myself

RedCandyApple · 17/02/2022 18:48

Apps I’ve heard of a peanut (if you have kids) bumble BFF and meet-up.

IsItTooHotInHere · 17/02/2022 18:52

I'm in the same boat. I'm 62, was very ill last year so not well enough to go back to work just yet. The couple of friends I've got both work so don't have a lot of free time. I've tried a few groups - 2 just weren't for me (one was a stroke group, I had a stroke last year) one was a brain injury group, I was the "healthiest" there. I go to a group once a week and enjoy it, but the people there are in their 70s and 80s. I feel I don't belong anywhere at the moment.

You're young, how about Zuba/aqua aerobics/dance classes?

IsItTooHotInHere · 17/02/2022 18:52

Zumba

Original poster
CrypticCode · 17/02/2022 18:54

@RedCandyApple

There are apps but I haven’t/wouldn’t use them myself
Can I ask why you wouldn't?

I had kids younger so don't really want to meet at a soft play etc with mums of young kids as I am no longer in that stage.

Is meet up dodgy? I had a quick peek but there doesn't seem to be anything local?

I like walking but the groups around here seem to be for 50+ or retirees and during the day which doesn't work as I still work full time.

OP posts:
Original poster
CrypticCode · 17/02/2022 18:57

@IsItTooHotInHere

I'm in the same boat. I'm 62, was very ill last year so not well enough to go back to work just yet. The couple of friends I've got both work so don't have a lot of free time. I've tried a few groups - 2 just weren't for me (one was a stroke group, I had a stroke last year) one was a brain injury group, I was the "healthiest" there. I go to a group once a week and enjoy it, but the people there are in their 70s and 80s. I feel I don't belong anywhere at the moment.

You're young, how about Zuba/aqua aerobics/dance classes?

I don't feel young! I feel middle aged with my books and sudoku of an evening! I also don't dtunk which doesn't help!

I think I would like zumba, as I used to go to a body pump class about 10 years ago which was fun ~but didn't lend to making friends~ but I think I would be too self conscious these days Blush

OP posts:
RuthW · 17/02/2022 19:04

You will definitely make friends at WI. If you don't like the first WI you try, try another as they are all different. Where abouts are you?

gunnersgold · 17/02/2022 19:06

Do you work? I work just to be sociable? Can you volunteer if not ?

TuscanApothecary · 17/02/2022 19:07

I joined in a few virtual meetups. The ones I virtually went to were really interesting. I had my dc young and friends my age are now stuck in the house with 7pm bedtimes and school runs ect whereas mine are teenagers and I have freedom.

Cottagepieandpeas · 17/02/2022 19:10

Meet Up can be good. Worth a try. I met some nice people when I went along to things. (Also met awful people but I’m sure they thought I was awful too Grin )

SnoozeAllDay · 17/02/2022 19:24

In my small city there are loads running groups that are just ladies. Of all ages but mainly women in their 40s 50s & 60s
They are all very formerly and welcoming.
And when I say running I mean fast walking / slow jogging so you don’t need to be super fit or fast.

RedCandyApple · 17/02/2022 19:25

CrypticCode I just don’t like the thought of making friends on an app; it seems a bit fake and forced I guess? But I don’t use old either as I feel similar about that, just doesn’t feel natural if that makes sense?

Original poster
CrypticCode · 17/02/2022 19:27

Hertfordshire

No running. I run like a drunk chicken Grin

Inhad in my head I might be too young for WI? Although I am 40 now, so probably thinking I am younger in my head, but actually old IRL!

OP posts:
dreamingofsun · 17/02/2022 19:28

fitness group could work. you will need to go a few times and then people will get used to you. ideally one where you can have a coffee after as you arent going to talk much whilst actually doing the yoga/zumba/keep fit. it will be good anyway even if you dont make friends.

helpfulperson · 17/02/2022 19:31

What about volunteering? Food
Bank, Scouts, guides are all looking for people and there should be no cost to you.

Aweefatcat · 17/02/2022 19:31

What about some evening classes at your local college? I did them years ago in my early 20s (our work paid for them). Lots of the older (ie over age of 25) women became friends through this

CaramelisedLeeks · 17/02/2022 19:31

I also don't drink and made some really wonderful friends through Bee Sober meet ups. There are brunches once a month all over the country. There are other great organisations too like sober girl society and sober butterfly collective. All kinds of people get involved and don't drink for lots of different reasons. Events are normally walks, cold water swimming, coffee but there are also nights out.

Aweefatcat · 17/02/2022 19:32

Or my favourite way of making friends is just to chat to people at the bus stop. (Actually have made 2 friends that way, and gained £1000 after “referring” a young guy that I chatted to at the bus stop for a job in my work after I found out his degree was in maths

dreamingofsun · 17/02/2022 19:33

what do you enjoy doing? or think you might enjoy? no point doing anything you hate. And think of things that arent too isolated.....eg swimming.

Myownpapillon · 17/02/2022 19:33

There are some more progressive WI groups, you need to look for them but I found a group locally where the age range is 30 to 70...I went a few times and then started studying so have stopped for now but intend to join again at some point. My local group have a main meet up every month but also a craft night once a month, book club once a month and baking night once a month (all free / small donation for cake at the baking night). There was also some informal meet ups for things like beer tasting where you just cover the food or drink cost of £5-10 so you can be as busy (or not) as you want within the group, lots to get stuck into.

dreamingofsun · 17/02/2022 19:34

my friend volunteers at cubs and the other volunteers sound a right laugh....in the main at least. be prepared to camp though and have to deal with young kids.....sounds like my idea of hell.

CrimbleCrumble1 · 17/02/2022 19:36

How about volunteering?

Original poster
CrypticCode · 17/02/2022 19:40

Scouts and guides not for me tbh. I don't like the religion aspect.

Tbh, I have no idea what I like doing anymore Blush
I read, sudoku. And work. That's about it.

Evening class sounds OK. I wonder what I would do though?

That's what appealed about the WI actually. Varied stuff I could try to see if I develop an interest?

I think the problem is I am too boring Confused

OP posts:
CrimbleCrumble1 · 17/02/2022 19:41

Book club and WI sound good to me, even if you don’t make a new BFF straightaway it will get you out and you’ll have a social evening.

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