Please help me… child hurting themselves

[Calmclam]

Hi everyone,

I’m really struggling with my daughter who is 8. She is a lovely girl but a deep thinker and sensitive. There has been a lot of change in her life recently and she’s struggling with her feelings. May or may not be related, but she’s been experiencing nausea for the last 2 months (seeing GP regarding this) and last night, after a difficult day at school and uncharacteristically getting into trouble for laughing in class, has been nipping herself in front of me, saying she doesn’t care if she gets bruises.

I’m heartbroken and just need a hand hold. I’ve told school so things are in motion on that front. I just want to fix everything for her but not sure how 😢

I'm really sorry to hear you are worried about your daughter, OP. What did the GP say about her nausea? Do you think it is being caused by anxiety? It's difficult for young children to understand that anxiety can cause physical symptoms that are very real.

The GP wanted to wait it out initially and it is much better than it was at the beginning, but the nausea is still preventing her eating as much as she normally would as she is afraid of feeling sick. She’s looking visibly thinner. She has an appointment booked for next week.

I didn’t think the nausea was caused by anxiety initially as she didn’t seem upset or anxious at the time, but in the last few weeks, she is showing other signs of anxiety so now I’m thinking that could be the case.

Bump.

It does sound like the nausea could be an anxiety symptom. Even quite young children can be good at masking anxiety so don't be surprised (or feel guilty) if you've missed subtle signs.

You mention she is afraid of feeling sick. My daughter has emetophobia (fear of vomiting) which often onsets around your DD's age, so it might be worth gently probing just how afraid she is, because if it is emetophobia it needs very specific treatment. It often gets misdiagnosed as an eating disorder because it can present in the same way (avoiding food) but it is actually very different. Just something to check.

The book "Helping your anxious child" is often mentioned on here as a good resource for helping kids with more generalised anxiety - it would be worth a look?