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Original poster

What's the most stupid thing you have said? (Lighthearted, obviously)

45 replies

dizzydizzydizzy · 16/02/2022 12:19

I have COVID. DM (who has a degree in Biochemistry) suggested to me today that I should clean out the fridge!!!

A few years ago, I was talking to a Catholic
Priest. A woman was coming towards us who was clearly a good friend of his and I asked him if she was his wife.

Now tell me your stuff! Just for fun.

OP posts:
AlwaysaLittleBitTired · 16/02/2022 12:22

I once wondered out loud where a hot air balloon was going to...

Phos · 16/02/2022 12:24

I'm trying to think of mine, I'm sure there are many but a colleague of my mum's back when they worked in a customer service role once offered David Blunket a newspaper to read. And then rather than style it out said "oh no you can't can you" and took it away again.

Grumpyoldpersonwithcats · 16/02/2022 12:26

DW, after visiting Wookey Hole caves, noticed a sign outside and said to me
"Well I didn't see any plain clothed security staff"

HotMessMama · 16/02/2022 12:27

I asked a Muslim woman, who I only knew as Mrs Surname, what her Christian name was 🙊
I meant first name obviously but it was a real foot in mouth moment!

CeleriacOfTheNight · 16/02/2022 12:31

Absent-mindedly asked a friend if he was absolutely certain his birthday was 8th May because I was fairly sure it was 8th March.

30 odd years ago and I still cringe... what an arrogant dick! Still mates though

onedayoranother · 16/02/2022 12:54

I said to my husband's ex at a party after she gave a speech she was nervous about: 'now you can relax and take your pants off'. I meant to say 'now you can let your hair down'. Omg so embarrassing 😳

AffIt · 16/02/2022 13:19

@onedayoranother

I said to my husband's ex at a party after she gave a speech she was nervous about: 'now you can relax and take your pants off'. I meant to say 'now you can let your hair down'. Omg so embarrassing 😳
That is genuinely outstanding. Grin
ReadySteadyTwins · 16/02/2022 13:24

About age 21. When a boyfriend noticed a mark on the back of my knee.

"That's my birth mark," I told him, "I've always had it"

FFS.

Original poster
dizzydizzydizzy · 16/02/2022 13:52

Oooh! Thanks all. As you may have gathered i'm a bit bored. This is entertaining!

OP posts:
Original poster
dizzydizzydizzy · 16/02/2022 13:54

Keep your posts coming..... I'm hoping for 100s!!

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Iamclearlyamug · 16/02/2022 14:04

Got on board a catamaran to the Isle of Wight and asked my OH at the time “are we floating?” 🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️

BalloonSlayer · 16/02/2022 14:19

Dh once asked someone the time while walking over Wetminster Bridge.

OverFebruary · 16/02/2022 14:23

"Why don't you just use a 20p piece" when reading a recipe telling me to roll the pastry out to the thickness of two 10p pieces. Blush

BeyondMyWits · 16/02/2022 14:31

At school year 7 science, going round the class naming mammals... I said "ELEPHANT" really loudly when it was my turn... only the teacher had changed it to can you name a mammal that can fly...

it is a good job I was near the top of the class, not bottom, because my nickname was Dumbo from that day on!

I still blush thinking of it ( I'm 57!) Didn't help when I told my daughter and she asked "did they know bats were mammals when you were at school?"... cheers!

floridamanatee · 16/02/2022 15:12

I was talking to my friend in my kitchen when I noticed the wall clock had stopped working. I said 'oh look the clock has stopped, I wonder when that happened' 🤦🏽‍♀️

ButterMeTimbers · 16/02/2022 15:17

Looking round a house to rent (lived alone) some years ago. For whatever reason, I ended up viewing a 5 bedroom house. Location was good, I guess.

Anyway, as I was viewing, it became obvious just how ridiculous viewing such a large house was, so when the agent asked me how many childen I had, I only had microseconds to

a) realise I couldn't say 'none' without looking like a fool
b) work out how many children would justify such a house

Turns out microseconds isn't enough time for that. So I answered breezily "Oh, about 4 or 5".

She didn't ask any more questions after that Grin

Tomanynames · 16/02/2022 15:21

Dd when she was around 18 asked if life insurance means you don't die Confused

amusedbush · 16/02/2022 15:36

DH were watching a travel show about Paris. The host was wrapping up the episode when the camera zoomed out and showed that he was standing at the top of the Eiffel Tower. "How can they hear him??" I asked DH, baffled. He took a second to decide if I was joking or not before explaining microphones to me.

Another Paris one. Last time DH and I were there he mentioned the tomb of the Unknown Soldier. I asked why nobody had used modern DNA technology to find out who he was Blush

I'm doing a PhD and teach at a university! I swear I use up all of my intelligence at work and then all I have left to offer DH is stupidity.

Original poster
dizzydizzydizzy · 16/02/2022 15:50

@BalloonSlayer and @ButterMeTimbers you two had me laughing loudest.

I am having a good giggle at all the others. Keep them coming.

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imamumgetmeoutofhere · 16/02/2022 15:51

When in a airplane to my DH:

"If we are so close to the sun, why is there ice on the windows?"

He just stared at me open mouthed for a while (probably trying to find out if I was being serious) before giving me the answer Grin

Original poster
dizzydizzydizzy · 16/02/2022 15:52

I've just thought of one:

In Biology class, aged about 15. The supply teacher asked us what would happen if we had diarrhea. We all laughed loudly. We eventually recovered and the teacher said it wasn't that funny but instead we should imagine what would happen if our pet dog had diarrhea. Most of us almost wet ourselves at that point.

OP posts:
BlondeDogLady · 16/02/2022 15:53

Was speaking to a very important customer on the phone. This man wasn't very nice, at all. I still remember his name, even though this was in 1987 ish. Mr A Harper. I needed his wife's initial to look up their account. I asked him for his wife's "inipple". I laughed. Silence.

BlondeDogLady · 16/02/2022 16:00

I was walking through a very large open plan office in the 90's, and I spied my male friend having lunch at his desk. His sandwich box was huge. I shouted over "hey that's a big lunch box", and he said "Hmmm, thanks very much". I went really red and scurried off.

Another time, someone at work was eating a "fun size" mars bar, and I mused about how I didn't know why they called them fun size, surely a big one (complete with hand gestures) would be more fun....genuinely didn't get what the men were laughing at.

BlondeDogLady · 16/02/2022 16:04

But my fave (this wasn't an accidental slip though) was when I worked alongside a guy, who was known for being a terrible womaniser - he openly used to say how he would sleep with any woman, no matter how she looked, even if she was a Moose (sounds awful now!) He was perma tanned, with a blonde quiff and was very "smooth".

Anyway, one day he came in to work in his sports car and his soft top had a huge tear in it.

He proudly said : "I was shagging in the car and this chick's stiletto's ripped the roof"

As quick as a flash, his colleague said "Are you sure it wasn't her Antlers"

Original poster
dizzydizzydizzy · 16/02/2022 16:05

Hilarious @BlondeDogLady ! Thanks!

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