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Original poster

Advice needs, scheduled to have Bartholin's gland removed.

20 replies

GeordieGeordieGeordie · 15/02/2022 20:42

Name changed for this as it's rather intimate, but I've been around since the Dark Ages.

A couple of months ago I was referred to Gynaecology by my GP as the left side of my vulva is very swollen - it's noticeably bigger than the right side. It is not sore and does not cause me any pain, except that sex is quite often painful.

On the day, the (female) gynaecologist I was meant to see was off sick, and I was seen by a male replacement. He gave me a frankly very rough and painful internal exam (I said to my DH afterwards that he treated me like a sodding glove puppet!) and said the gland would need to be surgically removed.

I was a bit surprised, as that seemed like a pretty drastic first step, and asked was there not another way, because surely I need that for lubrication? His response heavily implied - though he didn't say those exact words - that that should hardly be a concern at my stage of life.

I'm only 43. I'm not even in peri-menopause. I had planned on having an active sex life for many years to come.

However, he also said there's a long waiting list, so I agreed to go on it whilst I thought it over, and in case it did get worse over time. I also went away and asked my GP what she thought - her response was basically that she wasn't an expert; they were, and if that's what they advised that's what she'd recommend I do.

I've now been sent an appointment for the beginning of March, and I don't know what to do. A quick Google suggests they'd usually try draining the gland first, and that removing it is normally reserved for post-menopausal women. It also suggests it's quite a painful procedure, done under a general anaesthetic, with a longish recovery time - the NHS website says to expect 2-3 days in hospital afterwards, but I'm being sent to a day surgery, so guessing straight home afterwards!

I don't know what to do for the best. The damn lump isn't even painful; I'd be going through a painful procedure to "cure" something that isn't actually bothering me! But then, they wouldn't say it should be removed unless there was a good reason. Would they?

Please, wise Mumsnetters, I'd be so grateful for advice from any medical professionals or anyone who's been through something similar.

OP posts:

ThirdElephant · 15/02/2022 20:45

No idea, OP, but I'm bumping for you. Could you ask for a second opinion?

rubyslippers · 15/02/2022 20:48

There’s two issues
1 - your consultant sounds poor and you haven’t had a good experience. He’s unlikely to have explained anything well
2 - you have a swelling - it’s not usual to have that and needs to be tackled. I had a large Bartholin cyst rmeived - antibiotics did nothing and it was too large to drain
When they remove it with surgery then they stitch it in a certain way so it won’t fill up again
If they burst it’s not great
I would perhaps get a second opinion as I think that could reassure you on your worries

Original poster

GeordieGeordieGeordie · 15/02/2022 20:54

Anti-biotics haven't been tried, nor has draining the swelling, they just want to whip the whole gland out. It just feels a bit extreme as a first step.

I agree I probably need more advice, I'm just not sure where to go for it as my GP shut me down and the surgery is now scheduled.

I'm booked in for a pre-surgical assessment, would this be a good opportunity to raise my concerns?

OP posts:

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

General health Menopause Women's health

PigeonLittle · 15/02/2022 20:55

Id ring the secretary and explain you're concern about going straight to surgery and ask for a second appointment to discuss. Ideally with a female gynae.

Dont let anyone make you think that request is not reasonable!!!

rubyslippers · 15/02/2022 20:56

@GeordieGeordieGeordie

Anti-biotics haven't been tried, nor has draining the swelling, they just want to whip the whole gland out. It just feels a bit extreme as a first step.

I agree I probably need more advice, I'm just not sure where to go for it as my GP shut me down and the surgery is now scheduled.

I'm booked in for a pre-surgical assessment, would this be a good opportunity to raise my concerns?

Yes deffo at your pre op assessment - have a list Ready Some doctors recommend warm baths etc There may be a good reason why this has not been suggested to you is it’s too large etc but again it sounds like it’s not been explained or discussed well with you

TyrannosaurusRegina · 15/02/2022 21:04

If it isn't bothering you as you say, then do you really need intervention? I suppose you need to weigh up the pros and cons of removal.

Cyclingforcake · 15/02/2022 21:08

Your pre-assessment will probably be carried out by a nurse and is to assess your fitness for the procedure. They won’t be able to answer your questions about the procedure itself. You need to go back to the GP and ask for a second opinion or ask to have a further surgical consultation.

Original poster

GeordieGeordieGeordie · 15/02/2022 21:08

@TyrannosaurusRegina

If it isn't bothering you as you say, then do you really need intervention? I suppose you need to weigh up the pros and cons of removal.

Well, that's the question, isn't it? I'd be inclined to say no, but they seem very clear it's got to be removed, and the NHS don't normally refer you for surgery unless it's essential, do they?

I mean, they wouldn't remove my tonsils till I was 27, and they'd been bothering me for twenty years by then.

OP posts:

Original poster

GeordieGeordieGeordie · 15/02/2022 21:09

@Cyclingforcake

Thanks, that's helpful to know.

OP posts:

SNUG2022 · 15/02/2022 21:11

My gut instinct is that you shouldn't rush into this, and you need a second opinion. You don't have enough information to make a decision.

Lilymossflower · 15/02/2022 21:43

Book an appointment for a second opinion ,op. Asap.
And don't go ahead with the surgery unless, after gathering all the information, you feel it truly is the right choice for you

Sexnotgender · 15/02/2022 21:53

Definitely ask for a second opinion.

I’m sorry he was so awful to you

MMAMPWGHAP · 15/02/2022 22:06

I had two Bartholin’s abscess ops done. First I was 21, second late 20s. Recovery was pretty quick. Would fully expect that it could be done as day surgery nowadays. No lubrication issues afterwards either!

Original poster

GeordieGeordieGeordie · 15/02/2022 22:07

@MMAMPWGHAP

Did they remove the whole gland though? Because that is what I'm scheduled for.

OP posts:

MMAMPWGHAP · 15/02/2022 22:10

Reading further I am reminded that I had the marsupialisation process on each side and no recurrence of problems.

MMAMPWGHAP · 15/02/2022 22:11

I’d definitely query what they’re saying about removing the whole gland.

jojo8791 · 15/02/2022 22:21

I had exactly this procedure done at about the same age too.
I had a kind, female gynaecologist who said due to the size it would be better to remove the whole gland. As it turned out afterwards, the cyst had completely wrapped around the gland so removal was the only option. My reaction at the time however was similar to yours, I didnt expect such level of response.
I had day surgery under a general and was sore for a week or so afterwards but reasonably ok as long as I kept up with pain meds.
See if you can make an appointment by phone perhaps to chat through some of your concerns and questions.
The only thing I learned in hindsight was that there was large blood loss during surgery and combined with heavy periods I ended up with very low ferritin levels a couple of months later.
No issues with lubrication either.
Hope you find a way to get the best result for you. I didn't miss the lump when it was gone that's for sure!

Original poster

GeordieGeordieGeordie · 16/02/2022 10:29

Thank you, @jojo8791, that's very reassuring. I will try and get a phone consultation booked.

OP posts:

BillyBarryBoo · 16/02/2022 10:36

I don't know anything about this issue but I have one piece of information to add. OP mentioned that the NHS doesn't do unnecessary surgeries due to financial reasons.
I have heard - can't remember if it's in Ireland or UK that people attending the dentist on social welfare schemes are having their teeth removed rather than filled because it's cheaper long term.
So I would definitely seek a second opinion rather than trust the system to do right by every patient. The system will go for the cheapest long term option

Original poster

GeordieGeordieGeordie · 27/04/2022 19:06

Just popped back to update this in case it's useful for anyone - I refused to go ahead with the surgery without a second opinion, which I got today.

The (lovely, kind and empathetic) doctor who examined me said there was absolutely no need for it to be surgically removed unless it started causing me pain or got infected, and even if it did they try the marsupialisation first. He actually asked if the first consultation I'd had was with a junior doctor - almost certainly not going by his age.

So I'm very relieved that I pushed for a second opinion and didn't go ahead with unnecessary surgery!

OP posts:

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