Urgent Advice re Teen

[Sot1322]

Posting this for a friend and on chat for traffic.

She is absolutely at breaking point with her 16 year old son. He has been diagnosed with NF1, ASD, ADHD and ODD.
Over the last year his behaviour has got totally out of control. He has locked her in the house and stolen her car. The police had to spike the car on the motorway to stop him.

He has smashed the house, smashed her car numerous times with a golf club and is becoming increasingly aggressive and she is frightened that he will end up killing himself or someone else.
He is under CAHMS who don't appear to be doing much and is refusing to go to school.

She is a single parent who has to work. She cannot be there to monitor him every day.
Can anyone offer any advice on what she can do? She is looking into maybe a residential place for him? Or an organisation that could help with someone to watch him. He responds better to men and is heavily into the gym.

Thank you for reading

You mentioned heavily into gym and responding better to men. Could there also be a possibility of steroid abuse that has affected his diagnosis?

Is he on medication?

Sounds to me like steroid abuse. Could she get him to a doctor?

Sorry, but another vote for possible steroid abuse? Quick to anger, volatile, always in bad mood, 0-100 in seconds? Other than that, could friend contact local authority social services for help? That is part of their remit.

Don't think there is steroids involved. The ODD makes him aggressive.
He is in medication but sometimes doesn't take it.

Bump

Counselling
Residential care may be a good option
Medication review
Gp needs to test for steroid abuse
Lock on your bedroom door inside
Camera inside the house for when your not there to monitor him ( ethical or not you decide )

Does anyone know how she would find out about residential care please?

I would want to know what medication he has been prescribed and in what dosages.

@Sot1322

Does anyone know how she would find out about residential care please?

No idea

GP possibly, have your tried Google ?

Bump

OP- has he got an EHCP? You will need one for residential schooling unless it's secure training. Have you got a social worker? They can advise you

I don't have specific experience so hoping this will bump but also generally it's the people who shout loudest who get help. She cannot deal with this on her own so she needs to focus all her efforts in getting professionals to support them.

So every time he did something violent I'd be calling police to try to get a pattern established and hopefully some pressure into the system. Definitely sounds like the family need social worker involvement and yes I would also be looking into residential care.

She needs to make multiple appointments with GP to review meds, see what help there could be to get him to take them and to discuss steroid abuse. Make yourself a familiar face at the doctors to put pressure into the system from a different angle.

Keep requesting meetings / support from school and engage regularly with attendance officers or whatever team are in place for that. Also with SEN team / nurture provision / edu psych if that's an option. Again, more pressure into the system.

I agree. She needs to report every incident - this triggers the other agencies into action.

Thank you for all the replies.
He does have a social worker but they just don't seem to be able to help. It's like they keep fobbing her off.
She has called the police but then that makes him even more angry.
We have tried Googling residential schools but it's a minefield.

Was just wondering if anyone knew of any specific ones or even a decent charity//support group that could help?

Bit those types of schools will be jammed packed as they take the pick of the bunch - you aren’t anywhere near the top unless you keep reporting. Ask for him to be out in faster care for some respite. Worth asking.

Try Yvonne Newbold pages and f b group m.facebook.com/TheSENDVCBProject/

What does he know about Nf1? When was the diagnosis done and was it explained to him? Is he seeing an Nf1 specialist? Is he starting to get Neurofibromas? They appear at puberty.
What I am trying to say , @Sot1322 , is: could his anger be related to his NF1 ? Could he have googled it and lost his shit? Does the mum have Nf1 and could the son blame her for that?