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Original poster

Does anyone else dread going to parks/playgrounds with small kids?

15 replies

Coffeemum76 · 14/02/2022 19:32

Not sure if this the right board here, but I just want to get it off my chest.

I have two little ones, and it’s just me. I try and get us all out every day. When they were babies I loved going to the park, now they are 2 and 5 years old and I do prefer us being outdoors but the playgrounds sometimes feel soul destroying for me (does that sound harsh) My daughter gets upset if no one wants to play with her, but then will play on her own. Her brother he just loves toddling around and seeing what others are up to.

I play as much as I can with them and give them space. I see lots of parents on their phones (not a dig, people are comfortable doing what ever they choose) and then there’s big groups of parents who seem to be so deep in conversation and don’t see a child trying to get past them to access the slide or roundabout.

Don’t get me wrong, I smile and chat to other single parents or grandparent. I don’t have two heads and four arms and a permanent scowl on my face, some people do chat or smile, but I just find the whole playground experience daunting, full of emptiness.

I’m probably rambling now, but after today I just feel full up with I’m not sure what.
I just wanted to let it out.

Thanks for listening to this ramble.

OP posts:

LikeALeadBalloon · 14/02/2022 19:37

It's hard to tell which aspects are bothering you. Is it being amongst other adults but not socialising with them like a lonely feeling?

For me it was the continuation of imaginary games when I only went to the bloody park for a break from them. Pushing on the swing is one thing, pretending that I'm being knocked over by said swing with every single push for 30 solid minutes, or pretending to push it via blowing is just too much.

I don't usually get a chance to talk to other parents before a little hand drags me away.

stuntbubbles · 14/02/2022 19:43

OP, I love it in some ways because we’ve made loads of friends there and DD has a hoot, but I haaaaaaaate the “staring at their phone” crowd and the “big group too engrossed in conversation” crowd equally, because either way they never notice their kid pushing mine, or shouting at mine that they can’t come on the climbing frame; or wanting to join in on the seesaw but can’t be lifted up – and I don’t want to lift a stranger’s child! So then the kid is upset, DD is upset she didn’t get a “friend” on the seesaw, meanwhile the parents: yakkity-yak.

TrippinEdBalls · 14/02/2022 19:47

@stuntbubbles

People should be keeping a vague eye out but I actually - controversially, I know - think it's just fine, and in fact very healthy, for parents not too be hovering over their children constantly and monitoring their every move. And I think an enclosed playground is the perfect spot for children to play without constant adult intervention.

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Echobelly · 14/02/2022 19:50

I also think it's fine not to hover, and yes, even to be on your phone.

I get playgrounds can be very repetitive and dull (and cold). I heard a useful tip, which my kids are kind of too old for now but useful for younger, that if you want to leave, you don't have to give some big reason for it - as a parent you're entitled to say 'I'm getting cold now and I would like my lunch' or whatever. Because it's worth teaching kids that parents are entitled their own wants and needs too!

stuntbubbles · 14/02/2022 19:50

Oh, I agree! A vague eye is better than hovering. But so many times in our local there’s been not even a vague eye, just straight up “got my phone, got my oat milk flat white, my back will now be turned for 45 minutes”.

LadyCleathStuart · 14/02/2022 20:34

I wish I could sit on my phone in peace when I take mine to the park but god knows there is no way they will actually play with each other or on their own so they need me to be part of the game always (they are 8 and 5).

I hate the park because of this. If I am going to have to play with them anyway I would rather do it in the warm dry house or in our own garden.

rainrush · 14/02/2022 21:27

I'm the opposite, I love getting out the house with my DD so I enjoy playgrounds, especially visiting new ones with different themes/equipment. DD does tend to demand my attention, she's only 3 so needs me to hover to do some things safely. I'm not very sociable so I don't pay much attention to other parents, and we often go to playgrounds not local to us so I don't notice the cliques.

Original poster

Coffeemum76 · 15/02/2022 22:03

Don’t get me wrong I do love us all being out in the fresh air, I love them having the freedom to run about about explore and play.

Maybe it’s the playgrounds we use around here, yep, it’s very cliquey, not sure why that bothers me. I think sometimes it does feel large groups of adults just standing there and me trying to navigate my child around them to get on a slide etc… then there’s the look as if I’m doing something run. Oh I don’t know…
I will try out some different playgrounds, we have 3 local to us, maybe it is time to move around a bit.

My daughter loves the swings and slide and son just loves toddling around. If it makes them happy then I’m happy too.

OP posts:

Palmfrond · 15/02/2022 22:36

There’s a little playground near us where I know pretty much everyone, which is nice, but the big playground in the main park, I fucking hate it, for the reason you describe.

Musicalmaestro · 16/02/2022 01:14

Can you get a bus out of town so it is just you and your DC?
Have some space to paddle in streams I and climb trees without judgement?

MaryAndHerNet · 16/02/2022 01:17

I started to take a book when daughter hit 6/7
I'd like on the grass and peer over the top to check on her.
Much more enjoyable than dealing with other people, other people have cooties.

chocolatebrowniesaddict · 16/02/2022 01:26

Oh bloody hate the park because of my son. He is very active (3 yo) and is into everything and wants to go on the advance part of the play frames for older kids, so I'm literally climbing the frame after him so he doesn't hurt himself. I bloody hate it. There was a park near our old house last year which was small and empty, I loved that as I could sit down and be a slob and not hover but when there's other kids and parents, I have to make sure I'm like a helicopter which is bloody exhausting. Also getting out the park is a nightmare where he has a meltdown because he wants to play more and never return home.

ElliotGoss · 16/02/2022 07:27

In the January lockdown I used to take DD and DN to the park every day for 3 hours in the afternoon no matter what the weather to break up the day. I think it's given me PTSD.

opalescent · 16/02/2022 07:32

@ElliotGoss your post made me laugh out loud- as I said exactly the same to my SIL last week. I'm sure all those muddy park trips in lockdown have given me PTSD

BogRollBOGOF · 16/02/2022 07:43

Once my children were past the "constant vigilance" phase, I became a phone mum because I didn't have a pack of people to come to the park with me and there needs to be some way of maintaining sanity while your children entertain themselves into the voids of infinity. Grown-ups playing for themselves in a busy play area is frowned upon, more so than the phone.

My two enterain themselves, don't want to drag me into creative play and rarely involve themselves into the politics of other children. Head up, spot them, alive, playing nicely, back to what I was doing for another minute. An hour in a playground is otherwise a soul crushingly lonely place to spend your time.

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