Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

DH snoring and sleep talking

10 replies

TwentinQuarantino · 14/02/2022 04:06

Stuck in a hotel room with DH and I haven't slept a wink.

At home we sleep in separate bedrooms due to his snoring and duvet hogging, but decided we can't justify paying double for tonight and also, it's hardly romantic!

Ocasionally I feel bad and wonder if I'm being unreasonable, that perhaps I should put up with a bit of snoring and let him back in the marital bed. But tonight has reminded me what a fucking nightmare he is Grin so nope. That won't be on the cards anytime soon.

The night feels endless. What was meant to be a nice break has turned out pretty shit. It's rained NONSTOP. Hotel got our reservation mixed up not once but twice and it stressed me out. After all that not remotely impressed with the tired decor, scruffy looking bathroom, noisy AF duvet, noisy DH (okay that's not their fault), flat pillows..

Ugh. I want to go home and eat my weight in ice cream.

OP posts:
TurkeyRoastvBubbleandSqueek · 14/02/2022 05:00

Firstly OP, you have my sympathy.

Secondly, is your husband's neck size 18.5" or over? If it is, coupled with the snoring, it is very likely that he has sleep apnea, so please advise him to ask his GP for a referral to a sleep clinic (usually found within NHS hospitals). He would then be given an unobtrusive oximetre type of contraption, to wear on his finger overnight at home. If that shows that he does have sleep apnea, he should be given a CPAP machine and mask.

As long as he fits the mask correctly onto his face, he will not snore anymore! It is like a miracle, and he should get over the slight strangeness of wearing it every night, very quickly. If he has been feeling tired throughout the day, and has no other symptoms apart from the snoring and sleepiness, then he should also find himself feeling much more refreshed upon awakening.

Please take this advice seriously OP, and in the meantime, enjoy the ice-cream ☺️

TwentinQuarantino · 14/02/2022 05:22

I'm not sure about his neck size but he is overweight and I believe he may suffer from sleep apnea. Hes always tired and feels the need for a little lie down whenever he can. He's only young! It could be hereditary as MIL and FIL both snore louder than I've heard anyone ever snore, but I do believe with him its sleep apnea amd I've brought it up before but hes never eally given it much thought. I can't see him using a machine and mask overnight but it's worth mentioning again.

I don't even want ice cream anymore Turkey I just want sleep. He's still going strong!

OP posts:
endofagain · 14/02/2022 05:38

He really needs to see his gp. Sleep apnea is dangerous.

EBathory · 14/02/2022 08:58

I hope you are doing the driving. sleep apnea can be a reportable illness to the DVLA and they may revoke his licence as he may not be safe to drive

TwentinQuarantino · 14/02/2022 10:17

Yes I will encourage him to see his GP.

He's not been diagnosed with anything yet @EBathory and he's probably safer driving than me as I've not slept all night.

OP posts:
SwissCheeseRentedChildren · 14/02/2022 10:21

Well I want ice cream now.

Newestname002 · 14/02/2022 10:37

@TwentinQuarantino

Yes I will encourage him to see his GP.

He's not been diagnosed with anything yet @EBathory and he's probably safer driving than me as I've not slept all night.

If you can, do some research on Sleep Apnoea if you think he'll more likely take action if he can see actual facts about the symptoms, treatment and dangers? 🌹
TwentinQuarantino · 14/02/2022 13:12

I had a little read up about it this morning and brought it up over lunch. I told him I'd forgotten just how bad his snoring was and I really think he should visit his GP. He said he will so I'm hopeful.

He doesn't gasp or grunt in his sleep. It's a continuous relentlessly loud snoring sound which changes pace and style occasionally but without the pauses described of when a sufferer stops and starts breathing. He does move around alot and is permanently tired which could be also due to various other reasons - extra weight, thyroid issues, generally quite lazy and inactive.

OP posts:
TurkeyRoastvBubbleandSqueek · 15/02/2022 09:45

I really do hope that your husband does go to see his GP. My GP sent me to the sleep clinic (many years ago now) because I was "sleeping" on and off for about 12 hours every day, the first thing they checked was how much actual sleep I was getting using a souped up oximetre. It showed that I would frequently stop breathing for a few seconds and then start breathing again. I was never consciously aware of it, I never noticed myself gasp, my husband had never noticed it, but there it was, I had sleep apnea. I was lucky in that I never had a problem with the face mask, but I do know that some people take a little while to get used to it.

You can try out different face masks as well. You can get ones that will cover your mouth and your nose, or ones the just cover your nose. If your husband does have sleep apnea, the people at the sleep clinic will show him how to put the mask on, and then check a little while later how well it has worked, and whether it seems to be leaking air at all. Once you have the mask fitting correctly you don't notice the air going into your mouth/nose forcefully, it just feels like normal breathing - well that is until you have been wearing one for a while, and then if you have a power cut, you do notice the lack of the extra pressure. My husband can't actually get to sleep without his now, I can, but you certainly notice the difference, which seems a bit weird to me to notice the lack of something even though you are not aware of it when it is there - however thinking of it scientifically that does make sense, we might not notice the temperatire in our homes if the central heating is on at about18%C, but if it is snowing outside and the central heating stops working, we certainly notice the temperature then!

Yes, my husband now has a CPAP machine too. A few years after I got mine, and my husband had put weight on, he started feeling more tired during the day, so if I when I woke up in the night to use the loo, I would purposely stay awake for a while and listen to him (he had also started snoring more loudly). Whilst listening to him I started to notice a little pause in his snoring, and then a deeper intake of breathe - it never sounded like an actual gasp - so when I told him in the morning he decided to go to see his GP. My husband was absolutely positive that he wouldn't be able to get used to wearing a mask, but he did, very quickly, and as I said earlier, he now can't get to sleep without it. He stopped snoring the very first night he wore the mask, and if I ever hear him start to snore now, I nudge him and tell him his straps (on the mask) need tightening, and all is quiet again. He also stopped feeling the daytime tiredness.

It really is not healthy for him to have sleep apnea, so I do hope your husband puts his concerns aside, and does have an appointment with his GP. By the way, nothing intrusive happened at either my, or my husband's appointments at the sleep clinic. The mask isn't uncomfortable, just a bit strange at first, your husband really has nothing to worry about, but potentially quite a lot to gain. Sorry this is so long, but I wanted to reassure you and your husband that wearing a CPAP machine really is no bother, though if you have senses of humours like ours you might collapse in laughter the first time at how it looks - I am very fond of my trunk (the hose) these days!

AllTheColoursOfGerberas · 15/02/2022 09:49

@EBathory

I hope you are doing the driving. sleep apnea can be a reportable illness to the DVLA and they may revoke his licence as he may not be safe to drive
I had SA, the DVLA need to be informed but they don't revoke your licence
New posts on this thread. Refresh page