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Wedding Reading

48 replies

WotgunShedding · 13/02/2022 18:47

I’ve been asked to read at a friend’s wedding and I’m completely lost as to where to start!

Does anyone have any suggestions for a not-too-twee, non-religious reading?

OP posts:
Fiftyplanner · 13/02/2022 22:32

We had I Carry Your Heart by E E Cummings:

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

Gooders1105 · 13/02/2022 22:34

Scaffolding by Seamus Heaney
poets.org/poem/scaffolding

WotgunShedding · 13/02/2022 22:38

@Benjaminsniddlegrass that is so lovely. It definitely captures the spirit and tone of what I’d like to say.

I’m realising that I’m leaning more towards how-wonderful-you’ve-got-each-others-backs-now type readings and not being married myself (though been with DP for over a decade and have DC together), I don’t want to be presumptuous and give advice!

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YippieKayakOtherBuckets · 13/02/2022 22:50

Oh, for an outdoorsy wedding please can I recommend Epithamalion by Dannie Abse?

Singing, today I married my white girl
beautiful in a barley field.
Green on thy finger a grass blade curled,
so with this ring I thee wed, I thee wed,
and send our love to the loveless world
of all the living and all the dead.

Now, no more than vulnerable human,
we, more than one, less than two,
are nearly ourselves in a barley field -
and only love is the rent that's due
though the bailiffs of time return anew
to all the living but not the dead.

Shipwrecked, the sun sinks down harbours
of a sky, unloads its liquid cargoes
of marigolds, and I and my white girl
lie still in the barley - who else wishes
to speak, what more can be said
by all the living against all the dead?

Come then all you wedding guests:
green ghost of trees, gold of barley,
you blackbird priests in the field,
you wind that shakes the pansy head
fluttering on a stalk like a butterfly;
come the living and come the dead.

Listen flowers, birds, winds, worlds,
tell all today that I married
more than a white girl in the barley -
for today I took to my human bed
flower and bird and wind and world,
and all the living and all the dead.

WotgunShedding · 13/02/2022 23:05

@YippieKayakOtherBuckets ah that’s beautiful! I didn’t mention it but she’s South Asian and he is white so the repeated “my white girl” might be a bit out of place Blush

OP posts:
YippieKayakOtherBuckets · 13/02/2022 23:09

Ah! Perhaps not!

Nannyamc · 13/02/2022 23:12

Scaffolding by Seamus Heaney...about building a relationship.

Justkeeppedaling · 13/02/2022 23:14

There's a lovely excerpt from The Velveteen Rabbit

onefabday.com/ceremony-reading-excerpt-velveteen-rabbit/

Northernlurker · 13/02/2022 23:26

Love is patient etc does not fit the bill as it's religious. It's from the New Testament and so it's not 'over used' it's eternal. But not right for here,

I'd go with a sonnet personally

How2Help · 13/02/2022 23:27

@Nopetryagain

I quite like the Blessing of the Hands:

These are the hands of your best friend, young and strong and full of love for you, that are holding yours on your wedding day, as you promise to love each other today, tomorrow, and forever.

These are the hands that will work alongside yours, as together you build your future.

These are the hands that will passionately love you and cherish you through the years, and with the slightest touch, will comfort you like no other.

These are the hands that will hold you when fear or grief fills your mind.

These are the hands that will countless times wipe the tears from your eyes; tears of sorrow, and tears of joy.

These are the hands that will tenderly hold your children.

These are the hands that will help you to hold your family as one.

These are the hands that will give you strength when you need it.

And lastly, these are the hands that even when wrinkled and aged, will still be reaching for yours, still giving you the same unspoken tenderness with just a touch.

This is really beautiful.

Quitelikeacatslife · 13/02/2022 23:33

Forgive the cheesy font but we had this 20 years ago, it is nice to read as well which is important

Wedding Reading
BowerOfBramble · 13/02/2022 23:46

The blessing of the hands is wonderful. Also have a read of Vow by Roger Mcgough, heard it read by a mother of the groom once and it struck the perfect note.

sadeyedladyofthelowlandsea · 14/02/2022 00:59

A Vow by Wendy Cope makes me weep every single time:

I cannot promise never to be angry;
I cannot promise always to be kind.
You know what you’re taking on, my darling
It’s only at the start that love is blind.
And yet I’m still the one you want to be with
And you’re the one for me – of that I’m sure.
You’re my closest friend, my favourite person,
The lover and the home I’ve waited for.
I cannot promise that I will deserve you
From this day on. I hope to pass that test.
I love you, and I want to make you happy.
I promise I will do my very best.”

I love it for the simplicity of it, and admitting to all your faults. And now I will be blowing my nose quite emphatically.

BowerOfBramble · 14/02/2022 10:25

That is beautiful @sadeyedladyofthelowlandsea

here's the McGough one I was talking about:

I vow to honour the commitment made this day
Which, unlike the flowers and the cake,
Will not wither or decay. A promise, not to obey
But to respond joyfully, to forgive and to console,
For once incomplete, we now are whole.

I vow to bear in mind that if, at times
Things seem to go from bad to worse,
They also go from bad to better.
The lost purse is handed in, the letter
Contains wonderful news. Trains run on time,
Hurricanes run out of breath, floods subside,
And toast lands jam-side up.

And with this ring, my final vow:
To recall, whatever the future may bring,
The love I feel for you now.

WotgunShedding · 14/02/2022 13:58

These are so lovely, it’s going to be hard to choose! Which is definitely a better problem than having nothing at all, so thank you all for sharing these.

I found this which also seemed ok as it avoids the first person narrative which I’m not that au fait with!

May your marriage bring you all the exquisite excitements a marriage should bring, and may life grant you also patience, tolerance and understanding. May you always need one another - not so much to fill your emptiness as to help you know your fullness. A mountain needs a valley to be complete; the valley does not make the mountain less, but more; and the valley is more a valley because it has a mountain towering over it. So let it be with each of you. May you need one another, but not out of weakness. May you entice one another, but not compel one another. May you embrace one another, but not out encircle one another. May you succeed in all important ways with one another, and not fail in the little graces. May you look for things to praise, often say ‘I love you!’ and take no notice of small faults. If you have quarrels that push you apart, may both of you have good sense enough to take the first step back. May you enter into the mystery which is the awareness of one another’s presence - warm and near when you are side by side, and warm and near when you are in separate rooms or even distant cities. May you have happiness, and may you find it making one another happy. May you have love, and may you find it loving one another!

OP posts:
DownWhichOfLate · 14/02/2022 14:23

That sounds perfect! Get it printed out nicely and framed then that’s your wedding gift as well.

Fifthtimelucky · 14/02/2022 14:30

Silly question perhaps but are you sure that she want you to choose the piece as well as to read it?

I'd have thought it would be more normal for the bride and groom for choose the readings.

BowerOfBramble · 14/02/2022 14:48

I chose the readings at my wedding but I've been asked to choose something to read a couple of times before - lots of couples have too much on their plate, have no idea what they want, or just want you to choose.

warm and near when you are side by side, and warm and near when you are in separate rooms or even distant cities this is so nice, a good choice!

Blossomtoes · 14/02/2022 14:53

@Dragonsandunicorns

I love 'The life that I have' by Leo Marks
Beautiful poem. My dad read it to my mum on their Diamond wedding and it was part of his funeral service.

I love the Hands reading too.

Kahlil Gibran on marriage is lovely.

On Marriage
BY KAHLIL GIBRAN
Then Almitra spoke again and said, And
what of Marriage, master?
And he answered saying:
You were born together, and together you
shall be forevermore.
You shall be together when the white
wings of death scatter your days.
Ay, you shall be together even in the
silent memory of God.
But let there be spaces in your togetherness,
And let the winds of the heavens dance
between you.

 Love one another, but make not a bond

of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between
the shores of your souls.
Fill each other’s cup but drink not from
one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat
not from the same loaf.
Sing and dance together and be joyous,
but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone
though they quiver with the same music.

 Give your hearts, but not into each

other’s keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain
your hearts.
And stand together yet not too near
together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow
not in each other’s shadow.

LadyEloise1 · 14/02/2022 15:39

@KitBot
I love that Yeats poem.

sadeyedladyofthelowlandsea · 14/02/2022 22:10

@BowerOfBramble I love yours too! It feels like real love Smile

aaahshoot · 15/02/2022 14:04

I found this one for my friend's wedding and loved it. Definitely not twee!

A marriage by michael Blumenthal

You are holding up a ceiling
with both arms. It is very heavy,
but you must hold it up, or else
it will fall down on you. Your arms
are tired, terribly tired,
and, as the day goes on, it feels
as if either your arms or the ceiling
will soon collapse.

But then,
unexpectedly,
something wonderful happens:
Someone,
a man or a woman,
walks into the room
and holds their arms up
to the ceiling beside you.

So you finally get
to take down your arms.
You feel the relief of respite,
the blood flowing back
to your fingers and arms.
And when your partner’s arms tire,
you hold up your own
to relieve him again.

And it can go on like this
for many years
without the house falling.

Lessstressedhemum · 15/02/2022 14:25

My son and DDiL had that extract read at their wedding, Disney. There wasn't a dry eye in the house. Amber Spyglass is a brilliant book.

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