Have you learnt to let shit go?

[GinandGobbledegook]

For want of a better expression, I find myself sweating the small stuff. I get wound up easily and fester over it for days. Some things even longer.

When I say small, I really do mean petty small things that should not matter at all.
Examples being things said that might be lighthearted but I take it to heart or someone at work saying something that I don't agree with but because of office politics or hierarchy I can't say anything.

I want to care less and be able to go about my day without being "wound up" all of the time.

Has anyone got any tips?

My brain does this so much! Right there with you Op. Exercise or getting outside and moving/walking helps. Long drive sometimes helps, talking it over with someone whose brain doesn’t do it! My brain massively overthinks if I spend too much time alone, so for me distraction is key.

I let loads of shit go. I just don't have the headspace to care what other people say or think about me.

Stay in your lane and keep moving forward.

Another over thinking here! DH and I had an argument over something he said 7 years ago the other week...all because I was overthinking it and taking it personally.

agree with the PP, distraction is key. When I catch myself over thinking I go for a walk, or a drive it helps massively. Or I force myself to start cleaning - all the time talking to myself about how I'm feeling and reasoning with myself. Also, try not to act upon what you're overthinking. So many times I've just jumped the gun, whereas I've learnt to take a few days before I decide to speak about it to people, just so I can be more rationale.

It's draining it really is, so I feel for you xxx

I hear you OP. Are there bigger, much more serious things that are making you very angry? Are those things very frightening and hard to face? Is it easier to discharge your anger towards fairly small, trivial things because they feel more manageable? And does your anger leave you feeling maxxed out emotionally, so that even small issues feel like too much to deal with?

Might be on the wrong track, projecting a bit from my own experience!

Yes, all the time. I think it comes from being older and realising how incredibly unimportant most things are.

People are just specks which exist for an immeasurably small amount of time compared to the existence of the planet. When you think of it that way it is hard to get bothered by much at all.

I used to be like this but would say I've changed recently and dh agrees. I read 'don't sweat the small stuff in love' and there are different editions of this book I believe e.g at work.

I’ve found I’m much more relaxed about most things since I was taught the 4,7,8 breathing exercise.
You breathe in for a count of 4, hold for 7 and breathe out for 8. I sometimes find 10 minutes to do it at home, but mostly I do it when I’m driving. It’s been a life changer.
Apparently it gets the nervous system out of the fight/ flight state so you get less wound up and life feels easier.

I had a baby. No oonger have the headspace to hold onto stuff like that, at least for most of the time.

I'm so glad I'm not alone. I've started to distract myself as much as I can and I'm trying to not react. That is helping with everyone else thinking I'm calm. It's just the inside I need to sort now.

I wish that those petty things didn't even enter my head, it's exhausting and if I'm not worrying about one thing, it's another.
I don't even know why I care about some of it. It doesn't matter at all.

For example, someone declined a meeting at work with no explanation and it's wound me up. I don't particularly need that person there and it doesn't make a difference to the objective but I'm sat stewing over it

I do this, sometimes its dwelling on little things that people have said and what they've meant by it. Also it taking in peoples reactions and internalising them. Sounds stupid I know. I'm not in a great place at the moment for various reasons and this weekend we've had no heating or hot water cause our boiler broke, hopefully it will get fixed tomorrow. I told one of the ladies at my Son's football club today and she told me that they've never got round to getting central heating in all their 9 years in their house. Dont think its cause she cannot afford it as they afford other things, by the way I'm not meaning anything negative by that. She is a single Mum of 6 who has multiple health problems and still manages to do voluntary work, a real salt of the earth type. I now feel crap, entitled, spoilt and like a complete wuss, cause tbh not having heating and hot water really hasn't helped my mood this weekend. Luckily we have an oil radiator and its manageable, just not comfortable. Luckily I didn't do anything ridiculous like having a complete hissy fit about it, she commented on my clothing and I just said that I was dressing warm and why. Its amazing what can make you feel bad.

In RL I don't sweat the small stuff- I've had a pretty crap life so have learned to pick my battles. It's on here I get riled up!!

Yes and no
I've learned to scroll on by instead of chipping in
I don't fight other people's battles as I don't have the energy
Give much less of a shit about what people think of me

But I've started not letting shitty behaviour go eg from friends I have put up with it way too long - feels good

Absolutely. I have a bad case of "couldn't-give-a-shit-itis"

I can't say I've perfected it but I'm much much better than I used to be.

I used to write things down so I wouldn't keep churning it over in my head, keeping the facts but without the constant need to remember how I'd been wronged.

Most of the memories I've forced myself to let go are the things I think I'd done badly, from 20 odd years ago. I can look ahead and maybe see the time I have left and see it's not worth hanging onto it all and I have to move on.

Sometimes I annoy myself by how easily I let things go. But nothing is worth too much headspace. People or situations that bug me are not worthy of my attention.

About 12 years ago, I was going through a few things and realised that whilst I'm stuck going over and over (AND OVER) an incident, the other person is out just golfing or something. From that moment forward, I started breaking free from that type of chain of thought. Real game changer.

All the best.

Yes, but I think it comes with age.
My DH says things now, that I know are wrong for example, and at one time I’d argue about it until he accepted he was wrong. Now I just clock in my head he’s wrong, and let it go.
Just let it go, feel the peace/acceptance, and move on.

@Lottapianos that is such a good observation, about picking on the small stuff to dwell on as a way of diverting from the bigger, trickier issues; I totally do that.
I dwell and overthink, often I can't rationalise and it's overwhelming and exhausting. I had some counselling way back and the issue of victim complex came up, which was hard to hear but actually, very helpful in understanding why I reacted to certain things in certain ways.