Would you chuck these things out?

[whattodowithbadmemories]

DM was very mentally ill in the 80s .

Given 80s mental health treatment which was restraints, ECT, benzos etc .

For whatever reason they gave her lots of tape recordings of relaxation exercises, all read by her psychiatrist… most of them are fairly standard and you probably get the same stuff on YouTube nowadays, but they’re a bit disturbing for some reason - probably because of the age and the way the doctor speaks .

I associate them with childhood trauma as mum listened to them when I was a toddler . My early childhood wasn’t nice at times .

For whatever reason mum has kept them for 30 years, handed them to me about ten years ago …clearing mums cupboards out of junk, found them and listened to them this afternoon and ended up upset with flashbacks .

I’m now thinking hammer and scissors and get rid .

Would you? There’s six .

Is there a medical museum that might be interested?

Possibly donate them as PP suggested - perhaps the Wellcome Library archives - but there's no reason you need to live with these reminders. Getting rid of them might be a cathartic exercise. Wishing you peace.

I’ve snapped a couple of them .

Couple I am more reluctant as one also has recordings of my father speaking on the other side, another has a recording off the radio of my dad requesting a song for mum . Another two have recordings of me taken when I was in care . I don’t know if I should snap them too . They’re a horrible, horrible way to remember things, writing is one thing but tapes are too vivid and distressing .

I’ve snapped the one where it’s very clearly just the psychiatrist speaking . It’s nothing weird, it’s just progressive muscle relaxation interspersed with Elton John and oddly, Axel F (!) but they just make me picture the horrendous stories my mum has told me and the things that happened when I was small.

They’ve been hidden in a box for years but trying to tidy things and as soon as saw them a lot came back . I wish I hadn’t listened to them now .

I'd smash the lot. You don't need any traumatic flashbacks, ever.

Do you have someone you trust who could record your father’s voice for you, before destroying the tape?

Definitely destroy them.