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Original poster

Lost weight but realised that it was never about that

14 replies

GrogusMam · 12/02/2022 19:57

For years I've had anxiety and believed if I lost weight I would be this confident, happy person.

70lbs and and I was invited somewhere tonight, close family and a few new people.

Couldn't do it. Just couldn't. Sat in bed now wishing that I was the type of person that can just have fun without worrying.

I'm just sad to realise it wasn't the weights fault. It's just me.

OP posts:
Original poster
GrogusMam · 12/02/2022 19:58

Sorry 70lbs I have lost, that should say!

OP posts:
ClariceQuiff · 12/02/2022 20:03

Congratulations on your weight loss!

What you're experiencing is really common - you focus on losing weight with the vague idea that it will improve every aspect of your life, but when you reach target, you find that isn't the case and you are still you, just in a slimmer body.

Try to concentrate on the tangible positives of your weight loss - you will be healthier, less tired, look better and be able to wear all the clothes you want to wear. Just because your weight loss isn't a magical cure for everything else, doesn't mean you can't revel in your new, slimmer self.

PopcornPeacock · 12/02/2022 20:15

What an incredible achievement to lose 70lbs - huge well done from me, I admire your strength and will power, as that was no small feat.

Now that you've shown yourself you can set goals and reach them, perhaps you could use that same strength to work on your anxiety. Maybe a family group was too much to begin with, so possibly start smaller with maybe meeting up with one person for coffee, or even just a chat on the phone?

Silvergreen · 12/02/2022 20:15

Think about what you've done for your health and longevity! Plenty more fun and parties to be had when you're ready. Well done on such a great achievement x

RedCandyApple · 12/02/2022 20:17

Sorry you are feeling this. 70lbs is amazing Flowers

lljkk · 12/02/2022 20:22

Isn't this a good thing, that you have a clearer view about what the barriers might be between you being how you are & how you aspire to be? You've made progress towards your goal.

If you wrote down 3 very small parts of what is stopping you be the person you want to be -- what are those 3 small things?

FatLabrador · 12/02/2022 20:39

I once lost quite a bit of weight and was surprised to find that in some ways I felt worse. The weight had been a sort of protective armour to keep people away. Plus now I had lost weight I got quite a bit of attention and although in one way I liked it, in another way I felt like I had a lot of pressure on me.
So I think if you are quite an anxious person who find social situations difficult this could be the similar for you.
But I do agree with the others don't discount all the other benefits of losing the weight just because one thing you thought might get easier is not actually easier. It has a lot of real benefits to your health and you might even find you do feel a little more socially confident in certain situations even if not at a party, maybe you will enjoy an outing with a few friends that you wouldn't have enjoyed so much when you were heavier, such as a long day out that involves a lot of walking and physical activity.

coodawoodashooda · 12/02/2022 20:40

Go to a homeopath. Guaranteed joy.

coldfeetmama · 12/02/2022 20:41

Congratulations on your weight loss 🎉
That is fabulous

Please enjoy this new chapter of your life

Original poster
GrogusMam · 13/02/2022 20:10

Thankyou for the kind words. I just thought I would be more confident but I'm just not.

Guess it's something to work on

OP posts:
something2say · 13/02/2022 20:15

Hello.

I'm reading 'Quiet' by Susan Cain and it seems we sensitive people are born sensitive and it may even be down to our brain activity.

So... to separate the issues, you've got a new body to play with, but the same old head. It is desirable to be a shy introvert, it is a desirable trait actually. Perhaps your task now is to learn to extrovert on a Friday night? (You could get the book, I dont know if it discusses that, but I think it does.) Dont criticize yourself for your inherent nature. X

Baystard · 13/02/2022 20:16

70lb is amazing, you're obviously a strong person, even if you don't feel confident.

I have this too, being overweight makes me unhappy, but being slim doesn't make me happy. I don't have the answer unfortunately.

coodawoodashooda · 13/02/2022 21:56

Either way 70lbs is awesome. Congratulations.

underneaththeash · 13/02/2022 22:24

You loose weight for you. 90% of serious health conditions are significantly more prevalent in obese people.

You actually will be more confident too but it takes time.

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