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Original poster

WWYD about this money

65 replies

thinnerdinner · 12/02/2022 16:41

I work as a freelancer with no regular income and have to dip into my savings every now and then. DS has a steady job with a good income. I recently spent hours researching and applying to an ‘aid’ which is a good lumpsum amount.

I want to use it as my personal savings and spend it on DC and myself as I don’t know when my next project/income will be. DH thinks we should pay the annual tax with it (he usually pays for it himself). Who is right and WWYD?

OP posts:
Chewbecca · 12/02/2022 21:07

Surely it makes little difference?

If you pay the tax with it, there will be more left in the savings account?

What would you do with the money in the savings if you don’t use it to pay the tax?

How about a compromise?

Original poster
thinnerdinner · 12/02/2022 21:07

@TigerLilyTail

If he has savings then he should help you out. It's shitty of him to take your money off you when you make a lot less and he has a good job.
That’s my view indeed.
OP posts:
Original poster
thinnerdinner · 12/02/2022 21:09

@Chewbecca

Surely it makes little difference?

If you pay the tax with it, there will be more left in the savings account?

What would you do with the money in the savings if you don’t use it to pay the tax?

How about a compromise?

Well if I don’t use it to pay tax it will go into my savings and I don’t have to worry about my next project for a few months. I have nothing lined up at the moment so slightly stressed, but hopefully something will come along soon.
OP posts:

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

General money
Original poster
thinnerdinner · 12/02/2022 21:09

@OnaBegonia

Is it Child Benefit? Why the cloak and dagger vagueness?
It’s not, it’s too specific to mention here and completely unrelated to the question at hand
OP posts:
timeisnotaline · 12/02/2022 21:21

If he has savings you should get to replace your savings. I’m assuming you don’t parent 50/50 and he works around his parenting days, and that you don’t pay full time childcare so you’ve got plenty of time to work more…

MartinMartinMarti · 12/02/2022 21:24

I say you need to pay the tax.

It sounds like you want to have joint money when it means him subbing you, but not the other way around.

MichelleScarn · 12/02/2022 21:26

@TigerLilyTail

If he has savings then he should help you out. It's shitty of him to take your money off you when you make a lot less and he has a good job.
Why is it not then shitty of op to also get a regular paying job rather than ad hoc freelancing?
RunningFromInsanity · 12/02/2022 21:28

@MartinMartinMarti

I say you need to pay the tax.

It sounds like you want to have joint money when it means him subbing you, but not the other way around.

This.

He’s been paying your share of the taxes because you can’t afford to.

AlDanvers · 12/02/2022 21:36

So you want it to go to your savings. Where you will use it to sub you working and earning less?

I think if ita been a few years and your are struggling you really need to review wether this is working. If you can't afford your own tax, then it's not really viable.

How long do you expect your dh to keep paying your tax?

MichelleScarn · 12/02/2022 21:42

Ah missed this.. Well if I don’t use it to pay tax it will go into my savings and I don’t have to worry about my next project for a few months. So like pp it's because you want to use this money rather than work yourself? 🤔

Original poster
thinnerdinner · 12/02/2022 21:42

We didn’t have tenants during covid so no rental income at all for almost a year. Hopefully this won’t happen again. This is a property I bought with my savings pre-marriage, and I like to believe the income from it has helped us all live a better life and has reduced the pressure on DH for so many years pre-covid.

But it’s a valid point and this incident has made me rethink my career/financial options. I need to get back to my income potential sooner than later.

OP posts:
Original poster
thinnerdinner · 12/02/2022 21:46

@MichelleScarn

Ah missed this.. Well if I don’t use it to pay tax it will go into my savings and I don’t have to worry about my next project for a few months. So like pp it's because you want to use this money rather than work yourself? 🤔
Of course I work! I have to spend a lot of time marketing and selling and writing in order to get new work. As with all freelancers! It takes time (3-6 months) to sign off on a new project so I know that there will be no income for another 3-6 months.
OP posts:
AlDanvers · 12/02/2022 21:48

You like to believe its helped? Either it did or it didn't?

And it hasn't for the last 2 years? It's been a burden?

MichelleScarn · 12/02/2022 21:56

Of course I work! I have to spend a lot of time marketing and selling and writing in order to get new work. As with all freelancers! It takes time (3-6 months) to sign off on a new project so I know that there will be no income for another 3-6 months.

But if you didn't have dhs income, how would you survive for 6 months? Sorry but it is alien to me, I've always been in nhs so no idea how people would manage while awaiting a new project!

Original poster
thinnerdinner · 12/02/2022 22:03

@MichelleScarn

Of course I work! I have to spend a lot of time marketing and selling and writing in order to get new work. As with all freelancers! It takes time (3-6 months) to sign off on a new project so I know that there will be no income for another 3-6 months.

But if you didn't have dhs income, how would you survive for 6 months? Sorry but it is alien to me, I've always been in nhs so no idea how people would manage while awaiting a new project!

It’s a tough balancing act. The projects (just like contract work) are usually priced higher than a full time job by hour. The downside is that you have to work hard to get your own projects. Most freelancers do this because we have the flexibility to work around young DC. But if you are not heavily marketing yourself you could be left with no income for long periods of time. I usually keep my expenses low and save a lot from each project - I’ve never gone negative in all these years.
OP posts:
RedskyThisNight · 12/02/2022 22:04

normally self employed people who can't rely on a steady income all year, make sure to charge enough to cover their "downtime". So I'm assuming what OP calls her savings is actually money set aside to cover this period. And she should also set aside money for her own tax bill. Whether that's the "aid" or her income. Or she should look for a job that provides a more reliable income stream.

Bakewelltart987 · 12/02/2022 22:38

So you put it in your savings then transfer him your half of the tax bill or are you expecting him to pay all of it still even tho you will have the money to pay it?

Viviennemary · 12/02/2022 22:41

I think you should be contributing to general household expenses. Perhaps your DH would like to save his wages and spend it on himself. Hmm

Original poster
thinnerdinner · 12/02/2022 23:01

Oh trust me DH goes without nothing!

OP posts:
MichelleScarn · 12/02/2022 23:07

@thinnerdinner

Oh trust me DH goes without nothing!
Why should he if there's money there, unless by his doing so you/dc are being abused/deprived?
TigerLilyTail · 13/02/2022 02:56

I feel women are often at a disadvantage in the workplace. I know my Ex has a very high earning job which he wouldn't be able to do if he was responsible for childcare. My earning potential is a lot less because I do the childcare. It's not fair but many women are in the same boat, so I think if a woman is married to a man who is a high earner, then there needs to be a balance among the different things they pay for. It's easy to say that the OP should get a better paying job, but it's not always that easy, is it? It's not fair that the OP's husband has plenty of money to spend on himself and savings but the OP is struggling. A good guy would want to help her out if he could.

AlDanvers · 13/02/2022 04:43

If you are married to a higher earner, it's absolutely easier to pursue your own career.

A business is only viable, if its financially viable. Ops is not.

And quite frankly, its not true that you can't do a high earning job unless you have a sahp at home. I have one and was a single parent. All my female peers at work manage to have a high paying high responsibility job and their husbands are not sahp.

If one is a high earner the other is a sahp or works very pt or remains in a low paying job for flexibility, its because they have both chosen to. Its a choice, especially if the other is a high earner.

When you are self employed, you have to accept at some point, it's not financially viable. If her dh needs to pay her tax bill, it's not viable. That's why she needs to look at changing her job.

And let's be honest, if there's very little Income coming from someone's job, there's very little point in doing in.

Women are at a disadvantage in the work place. It doesn't mean they have to withdraw, especially if their husband earns well because childcare is easier to afford.

Rainbowqueeen · 13/02/2022 05:13

I’d completely overhaul how you deal with finances. And see this ‘aid’ as the catalyst.

Joint account for bills. Joint savings account. You both have the same amount going into pensions. You both get equal “play” money yo spend on whatever you like.

This should not be an issue.

TigerLilyTail · 13/02/2022 07:06

@Rainbowqueeen

I’d completely overhaul how you deal with finances. And see this ‘aid’ as the catalyst. Joint account for bills. Joint savings account. You both have the same amount going into pensions. You both get equal “play” money yo spend on whatever you like.

This should not be an issue.

I agree with this!

Whatever you are doing, you need to work as a team. I think the past few years have been tough for a lot of reasons, but you need to try and work together.

Cottagepieandpeas · 13/02/2022 07:10

@thinnerdinner

No, the joint income (from rent) covers bills, mortgage etc. It’s my property that pays the rental income but I treat it as ‘joint’. I have no other savings sadly. He has savings and pension from his job.
But you say in your original post that you have to ‘dip in to your savings’ Confused