Do you always give gifts to a second child?

[escapingthecity]

DC2 recently arrived and we have received far fewer gifts for them than we did for DC1. We don't really need anything for them, but DC1 did get some lovely personalised things (towels, mugs, wooden toys) which DC2 won't have. As the two DCs are different sexes most of the gifts we have received are very very gendered items of clothing.

And I realised there have definitely been occasions in the past where I would send a gift to my friends when their first child arrived but somehow never quite get round to it for a second/subsequent one.

Is this normal? Do you routinely only give gifts for a PFB?

I’ve always given gifts for second DC - and usually a present for the toddler DC at the same time.

Yes, I've gifted for just the first. New baby gifts are to help you out really. The assumption is that you already have lots of stuff. The fact that its gendered doesn't matter, my ds wore his sisters pink romper suits for bed without complaint. Personalised stuff would be more for christening or baby naming.

No. I would send gifts for each child.
However, if you have failed to send gifts to friends for friends second children, it’s surely can’t be a surprise that you are getting less gifts for your second?

Anyone we were close with sent gifts for both children.

We got a lot of presents for DC1, many from very unexpected people (the cleaner at DH’s work, the mum of SIL’s new boyfriend, the neighbours of extended family).

All very appreciated, but I wasn’t surprised when they didn’t send a gift when ds was born.

I think there was a gendered element as well- it’s easy to get carried away buying cute tiny dresses etc for DC1, but when DC2 was a boy… I mean no one gets excited about rows and rows of sludgy greys and navy clothes in the lads section.

I’ve always given gifts for second DC - and usually a present for the toddler DC at the same time

Why would you give the both presents?

Oh I always send for each child. I think it's really horrible that people deliberately chose not to for subsequent children but you admit you did it yourself.

@pinkyredrose I do this so the older child doesn't feel left out, it's quite common for a new baby to receive lots of attention, if older dc is a toddler or a little bit older they can feel a little put out

I've sent gifts for first born children but if I don't receive acknowledgement- even a simple 'thankyou' or I haven't even seen the first child yet then there's no way I'm sending the second child a gift.

@user33323 @PostThenGhost it's only having my own 2nd one (quite late among our friends) that I realise I should have done it consistently

Honestly, I give but with with less interest and excitement and usually just a token. A first baby is a life event / transition into a different stage of life and less about the baby itself than the parents. After that, it’s just plain ol’ every day breeding. Babies are really only amazing and unique in their own right to their parents/grandparents.

I agree with others I would do gift for new baby and token gift for bigger sibling

I give for second, but probably a little less generously. For firsts I tend to spend more, but get practical things. Second or subsequent tend to get a book, toy or nice outfit, as the family will already have the essentials.

I also got less for my second. Close family still gave gifts, but not extended family and friends who had sent bits for first.

I got less presents each time. I think there is more of a novelty for your first dc, more fuss etc. I always try and get equal gifts for people's 2nd dc as I did for the first though.

Personally when I give a gift for a new baby I will give something similar to any previous gifts . For example and personalised blanket , an outfit and a card plus a little something for older siblings. The way I see it I am gifting to the baby and it doesn’t matter if they are number1 or number 5 . It’s a new life coming into the world and I want to celebrate that .