How often do you see your parents?

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If they live close by?

I work 4 days a week and have DCs aged 7 and 3 and just feel like I can't fit everything in.

Parents are separated and see them on alternate Saturdays. Mum is more helpful, if she comes over or we go out she lets me crack on with folding up washing or playing with DCs at the park. Dad on the other hand expects you to sit down with him and I very much play the host, drinks, lunch etc and I'm finding that between the two I can't keep up with general house work and spend all day catching up on Sunday which leaves me and DH shattered.

I have one day off a week but I take pre-schooler swimming and try to catch up then but it's hard with a pre-schooler and then school run etc.

I would like to see them once a month, does that sound reasonable? Also forgot to include the fact we also need to see PIL that live nearby too, although they are a bit more easy going with when we visit so we do see them about once a month and that feels more manageable for me.

Would be interesting to see what others do in similar situations

See them as often as you can come to abou manage. Once a month is fine and far more often than most people.

DM is about an hour away. Not particularly far but enough that it's a big chunk of the day by the time the visit balances travel time, she's beyond dropping in distance and have little purpose to visit my home town. The last time I saw her was last summer when I managed to concoct a reason to go to the area on a significant date and ask if I could pass by. She can't travel to me and I'd see her a heck of a lot more if she put out inviting vibes!
DH has seen his mother more in the past year and she's in a different country!

From friends with local parents, the more they see them, the less formal those visits tend to be. Very frequent visits often revolve around childcare/ favours and are more functional rather than focused quality time.

One relationship in my family broke up not in a small part to a very rigid expectation of Sunday Afternoon Tea, an inflexible weekly event that overrode any other commitments. Triffling excuses such as close family weddings were not acceptable to disrupt this sacred ritual.
Quality time is good but expecting high frequency, formal visits can be unreasonably unrealistic and very restrictive.

5&3 year old, work 3 days a week see them 2 times a week but could be a 20min doorstep chat or longer. Max is usually 2-3 hours!

Well I work in the same company as my father so I see him nearly daily. I see my mum probably once/twice a week but I speak to her every second day or so...

A couple of times a week, but they’re great with the grandchildren and giving me a break. Could you say to your dad that you’d love to see him but need to crack on with some bits at home, so he’s welcome to pop over to see the grandkids? I.e make it clear that he can hang out in a less formal way?

My parents live close and it varies. They help with childcare so some days it's every day for a ten minute handover, other times I might not see them for a fortnight to give them space. It's always relaxed- my dad says hi but usually slopes off to watch tv rather than listening to us "nattering".

Are they more bothered about seeing you or the DC? Could you drop them off for an afternoon and take some childfree time? I know for my parents theyre more bothered about seeing my children than me. My mum tends to ring me in the evening if she wants a proper talk.

See my Dad once a week. Never the other parent.

I see my mum weekly (she lives 50 miles away, and comes to me), and my dad when go to visit them (about 3 or 4 times a year).