Because she has asked me not to tell him. DD is 10 and has been invited as she has asthma and is on strong steroid preventative inhalers.
I was pleased when I saw the letter as I think she is at risk if she has an asthma flare up and this could be caused by a virus like flu or COVID (she already has flu vaccines, which her dad hasn’t questioned).
She has never been admitted to hospital but we have had to go to out of hours for nebulisers before and she has often had chest infections and needed antibiotics and steroids during the winter months.
Their dad however, has already told the DC that vaccines are dangerous for children and can affect future fertility. I am not in a relationship with him, we divorced years ago.
He is a vegan who believes that plant based diets cure most things and sugar is the cause of everything bad. He is quite dismissive of conventional medicine.
On the subject of COVID and vaccines, he previously told me I should listen to “top scientists” on podcasts like Joe Rogan, so I can learn the truth about vaccines and COVID, as he says he has researched the risks properly by listening to these people. We don’t get on very well and are very different people.
When I told DD she had a letter inviting her for the vaccine she asked what I thought and I said I think it is a good idea. She said she is happy to have it but “don’t tell dad as he will go on and on about it”.
She did ask if the fertility part was true, so we sat together and looked for evidence about this on the internet and found information about where the myth came from (and talked about how to find different sources of information and how to decide if it is a reliable source).
I don’t want her to feel as if she has to keep secrets though. But she is right, he will go on and on, and then it will cause stress to her younger DC, who already suffers from anxiety, as she will worry about her sister.
Added to this, DD has mentioned that none of the children in her class are having the vaccine when offered, as their parents don’t think it’s safe (they have discussed it in school). She said to me “You’re the only one who doesn’t have think that it is safe, but I trust you because you are my mum”. She really doesn’t seem very bothered by any of it.
Still though, that caused even me to start feeling alarmed and to think “What if I have got this wrong?, what if there IS a risk?”
Asthma attacks aren’t a laughing matter though. I’m already the one who has had to push and push her dad to make sure she has her preventive inhalers when she stays with him as he never used to enforce this and would say “I didn’t give it to her as she didn’t need it”… even after I explained time after time that it is preventative.
I need to phone now to book her apt, but am now wobbling despite the fact that I previously had no concerns at all, and DD is quite happy to go ahead..