I don’t want to give birth again

[LovelyQuiche]

But I also don’t want my daughter to be an only child.
She’s 8 weeks old. From a medical point of view her birth was uncomplicated. Induced at 38 weeks, 6 hr labour, came out quickly and I had a grade 2 tear. No epidural (no time for one in the end). The birth experience was 100% worth it for my amazing daughter.

But I had a stillbirth in 2020 followed closely by a miscarriage which was followed closely by getting pregnant with my daughter. The pregnancy was fraught with worry and I was up the hospital all the time because I was anxious.
Someone I know recently very nearly died after a planned c section and ended up in ICU
The thought of going through pregnancy and labour again gives me chills, but the thought of only having one child makes me really sad. I’m 39 so can’t wait long.
I don’t really know what I’m hoping for by posting on here. Does anyone else feel like this?

You have a newborn. You should just concentrate on your baby for now. There is nothing wrong with only having one child.

You’re conflicted about what you want and you feel a bit panicked because of your age. You are also probably traumatised by past experiences. These feelings are completely understandable. But regardless of whether you are 19 or 39, it is not the right time to focus on this. Give yourself a break from this rollercoaster.

Give it maybe a year before you focus on this again. It may be that you will still be conflicted. But I think it’s more likely you will have a clearer idea about what you want at that stage.

Sorry about your losses and congrats on your beautiful baby.

You don't need to decide now! I had my first at 37 it was a difficult pregnancy and at 8 weeks s post partum I was one and done!!

DC 2 was born less than 2 years later😁

It's early days. It's okay to put it to one side for a year or so.

I'm so sorry for all you've been through. Welcome to your beautiful DD.

Have you had some support? Do you think you might like or need some help with the grief? When you're feeling ready?

I wasn't really relishing the idea of pregnancy and labour again so gave myself plenty of time to get over the birth and letting my LO enjoy babyhood with my full attention. We decided to try again when I was in my early 40s. The pregnancy was hard but the birth was a bit of an antedote to the previous one which had left me a bit traumatised to be honest. Give yourself time and think about it in a couple of years would be my advice.

@emuloc

You have a newborn. You should just concentrate on your baby for now. There is nothing wrong with only having one child.

I agree with that.

Give it time and you will know the answer, mother nature has a funny way of making you forget alot of the time, and if not, then you will feel more certain of your decision. Enjoy your baby and rethink it in a year or 2

“emuloc
You have a newborn. You should just concentrate on your baby for now. There is nothing wrong with only having one child.”

This^

I felt the same. I wanted another child but my body was so badly injured from giving birth the first time that I didn’t dare. In the end I chose not to have another, it was just too much of a risk. I had a responsibility to the child I already had and I couldn’t risk making myself seriously ill or disabled any more than I already was.