Colleague shortening my name

[swissrollisntswiss]

New team member started a couple of weeks ago. I’m his manager and responsible for his training so we’ve spent a lot of time together. It’s not going great, I’m having to show him the same thing many times and I’m catching up on my own work in the evenings. It’s not ideal but now, to make his case worse, he is shortening my name. The shortening isn’t that common, I got the whole way through school without anyone doing it. It occasionally happens but usually people I see infrequently so less grating. Full name is 2 syllables so really not an effort. We’ve done a lot of online training but we’ve now been face to face a few times with other colleagues calling me my actual name but he is still persisting.

I know, I know, I need to pull up my big girl pants and say something but why do people do this? Do I just bluntly send an IM correcting him (we’re wfh this week)?

What is wrong with you? Why can't you just correct him every single time.

And why are you working in the evening to catch up on work? He's the one who should be working overtime to correct things he's not doing right.

You're his manager. You have to be able to deal with issues like this. It's not about 'pulling up your big girl pants' it's - literally - your job to be able to handle stuff like this.

Yes, send him a message - and make it very clear that your name is [Y] and not [X] and that you don't appreciate him choosing a different version of your name.

You need to tell him bluntly to his face ‘My name is X, please call me that.’

Say something. You only shorten someone's name if that's how they refer to themselves
It's bad manners in a friendship group let alone a business setting
I think its supposed to be friendly but I would want to punch them everytime

No… not an IM, as you will undoubtedly need a paper trail to cover your arse when you get rid of him for being shit at his job. He is shortening your name in an attempt to be overly-familiar because he knows you’re on to his incompetence and you’re losing patience. I think you need to tell him once, calmly and politely “Please don’t call me “X”, I prefer to be called “XX” and diarise it along with everything else. If you IM him, he will use this in an attempt to whack you with a “bullying” campaign. (Precious.)

Nip it in the bud now!

I can’t stand people shortening my name. Especially a relative stranger - the cheek! I always immediately correct anyone that does.

So something like your name is Caroline and he's calling you Caro, or your name is Julia and he's calling you Jules? That's awful. He's deliberately (whether conscious or not) treating you as a mate rather than a boss, so it's a power play IMHO. Yes correct him in no uncertain terms because otherwise he'll know he can push you and it won't stop there. If he was an otherwise exemplary worker and respectful it might be different but I smell trouble with this one and you need to assert your justifiable authority, IMHO.

"I don't like being called Sam, my name is Samantha. Please call me that. "

I think you just need to be blunt, possibly more than once.

I only let close family and friends shorten my name. Anyone else gets "It's either Bunny or Mrs Ruddington, I'll let you decide which" that's if I'm feeling generous

Tell him to his face. “Actually I prefer to be called....”.
You can do this OP!!!

I wouldn’t send an IM randomly, just politely correct it when it happens. ‘I prefer Louise’ and carry on with your conversation.

@BIWI thank you, this is probably the stern talking to I need! Sadly he needs a handhold for most of the day so I have little other opportunity to reply to emails etc. I’m sure you can tell that his time with us will likely be short but I still can’t cope with the shortening!

@MandyCarter agreed it is a friendly thing.

Just say it’s not Nicki it’s Nicola, or whatever.

You might need to say it a few times

And I agree it’s a power play by him. Or just blatant stupidity. Either way, time for it to stop.

I'll put money on him knowing someone with your name already and using the shortened version for them.

I have a name like yours, 2 syllables. Only shortened by those I love. Or those I've known a very long time.

But people who also know a (made up name) Lisa, got to Lis, much faster than others.

I'd just say eg if they call you Vicky

"It's Victoria"

The longer you leave it the weirder it is

It’s always men who do this!

Ah good point everyone who said it’s better not to do it in writing. We have a catch up call later so I’ll go for it. I really hope once is enough, although likely not given my multiple explanations of other concepts.

The shortened version is a name in itself but it’s a Charlotte/Charlie type situation. Definitely not one you would assume.

If you can already demonstrate he's not coping with the work then show him the door. You've acknowledged his time with the company will be short so why prolongue the agony?

@swissrollisntswiss

Ah good point everyone who said it’s better not to do it in writing. We have a catch up call later so I’ll go for it. I really hope once is enough, although likely not given my multiple explanations of other concepts.

The shortened version is a name in itself but it’s a Charlotte/Charlie type situation. Definitely not one you would assume.

Oh I definitely wouldn't call a Charlotte Charlie without them saying so! There are so many variations of nickname as well for a name like that.

Time to step up!

It's so annoying isn't it, but you have to tell them.

My music teacher always insisted on calling me Lin through school and I absolutely hated it. My name Lin-da, not Lin. I did correct him a few times but he never took any notice.